Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Weight Loss Wednesday: It's Not That Hard

Update: I somehow dropped 3 lbs since my weigh in on the 18th, so I am down a total of 38 lbs. I think it is because I was sick Thursday-Tuesday and am still fighting it off. Also I've had a pretty poor appetite, but hey, I'm not complaining! I am so close to 40, another milestone!

No tips or workout routines today, just a story about a real situation that occurred a few days ago.

I was talking with a group of people about starting our own Weight Watchers group- just holding each other accountable for our actions, having weigh ins, sharing recipes. Someone else piped in and said "You guys don't need weight watchers. It's really not that hard to lose weight".

My head snapped around so fast, I could have broken my neck.

It's not that hard?

Of course, me being me, I didn't say anything except "I beg to differ". But thinking about it now, there's a lot I should have said.

You're right. It's not hard at all to wake up at 5 O'clock on a dark, freezing morning and get to the gym, put an hour workout in, and then work a full day. It's not hard at all to do 45 minutes on the treadmill at a 10 incline. It's not hard at all to chest press 60 lbs. It's not hard to go through each day watching everyone else indulge in donuts, chocolate, pizza, and other snacks while I eat egg whites, plain turkey burgers and protein bars. It's not hard to come home from a full day at work totally exhausted and have to cook my meal. It's not hard at all to sit on the couch with aching muscles and bones, knowing I will have to wake up in a few hours and do it all over again.

It's not hard when my emotions get the best of me and I become OCD about the numbers on the scale or feel incredibly guilty about eating something I shouldn't. It's not hard to put all that work in, and only lose an ounce, or not lose anything at all.

False. So, so false.

This is hard. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. It's so hard that on some nights, I just cry. Because even though I'm happy and I am seeing results and feeling better, it's so damn hard.

It would be easy, my friends, to give up. It would be easy to say "you know what? Today I am not going to track everything I eat. I am just going to eat whatever I want". But if I do that, today will turn into every day, and I will be right back where I started. I will not let that happen, so instead of choosing to give up or to give myself a break or to take it easy, I keep fighting- HARD.

When this is all said and done, when I have reached my goal weight,  I will reveal my starting weight. Because I damn well know there are other people out there with the same or similar numbers, and I need them to know that this is possible. It's hard, but it's possible.

The girl who said it was easy has probably never struggled with weight. Obviously I don't know her whole background and I can't easily make that judgement, but based on what I do know, I am fairly certain that I am correct. She is probably never had to lose 100+ lbs. But when you have been overweight most of your life, when you can't sit comfortably in a car because you are too fat, when you can barely make it up a set of stairs without getting out of breath, you get it. You get that this is not easy.

Hard as it may be, it's totally worth it. I am taking control of my body and my health, and I've never felt stronger.

No comments: