Still Working on my Masterpiece

Good news, friends. Over the last few weeks I have had a pretty big drop and I am now sitting at 110 lbs lost. I am keeping my fingers crossed very tightly that the trend of losing continues, and that I don't get stuck or gain again. But if I do, it will just be another bump in the road and I will push harder.

I re-evaluated some things to figure out why I wasn't losing. I changed some habits- I cut out coffee again, I'm REALLY careful about my sugar intake, and I cut back on alcohol. These things, combined with really focusing to reach my "calories burned" goal each week, seem to have helped. So far, at least.

Today I wanted to talk about something a little different than most of my other posts. I want to preface it by saying that I truly believe most people who talk about my weight loss and who offer tips, suggestions, advice, etc are being very genuine and very sweet. In other words? They mean well. Yet, sometimes the way statements are delivered stings a little.

I've had all kinds of things said to me. From "Don't get too thin!" to "I didn't realize how fat you were before!". Both of these are slightly offensive, but I sort of laugh them off. But there's one thing that people say that I can't always shake off.

"When are you going to get a tummy tuck?"

I get where this question is coming from. I really do. Almost anyone who drops a significant amount of weight has an issue with sagging/extra skin. Lots of those people have surgery.

But that's their choice. If that's what they want to do, they should do it.

But I probably won't. And that's my choice.

There are a lot of reasons behind that decision, and I don't feel like I have to share them to justify it. More importantly, let's talk about how it feels when someone asks that question. It feels like a slap in the face. Like after all my hard work in the last two years, after losing 110 lbs, counting every calories I consume- like after all that, it's not good enough. For some people, at least.

I'm not saying I expect everyone to be singing my praises and telling me I look good- but I also don't want to put my body to shame when I've just learned to start loving my body.

I know that I have some rolls on my tummy where the skin is starting to droop and that it can be off putting. I try my damnedest to wear clothes that hide it. I'm already self conscious about it but I have been learning to live with it and embrace it. I'm actively attempting to get rid of it by myself- by drinking green tea, cutting sugar, doing core exercises and other tricks I am picking up.

Basically, my point of this post is to once again ask that all of us need to take a minute to think before we speak. Consider if your words could be harmful.

I will never be perfect. None of us will ever be perfect. Perfection is not my goal. I don't know why anyone else seems to think that it should be.

Weight Loss Wednesday

The past week or so has been a real test to my strength and ability to keep this weight loss thing going. I have barely been home, and didn't do as great at meal planning as I usually do. Typically,l even if I have a busy work week with lots of late nights, I am still able to plan my meals pretty well. I didn't this time, and I was surrounded by temptation.

And I, must admit, I gave in a couple times. Tom and I had pizza for lunch on Saturday. My menu options were limited, and I really didn't want to order a grilled chicken sandwich without a bun AGAIN. So I gave in and had pizza. Now, you and I both know that one meal does not make or break a lifestyle change, but for someone like me, one meal does put me down a slippery slope. I start to think "well, I had pizza, and I didn't gain weight, so I can probably have __________ too". NO! When I start doing that, I fall off the wagon. I want to stay in the wagon!

Tonight is my first night in my house without anything going on since Saturday, so I sat down and made my meal plan for the rest of the week- and I planned out my workouts. I am getting back on track!

Last I checked on the scale, I was down 66 lbs. I am a little scared to look due to said meal plan issue, so I won't look again until next week. My guess is I will stay about the same for a few weeks and drop again- as usual. At least, that's what I hope!

My biggest accomplishment in the last week is the fact that I rode 5 miles on my bike. Not a stationary bike, a real bike. I haven't ridden a bike in years. It felt so awesome to be out there, wind in my face, pushing myself to go up the big hills. I wasn't sure if I could do it at first, but I managed! What pushed me was thinking of my little buddy Claire, the little girl I am running/working out for because she has a disability that limits her. I thought of all the scary things she has to do every day and it made me push past my own fear!

So I guess that's it for me. I just wanted to share that the little voices in my head have been annoying lately and wanting me to quit. But I will not! I am going to prove them wrong! No quitting for me!

Weight Loss Wednesday: It's Not That Hard

Update: I somehow dropped 3 lbs since my weigh in on the 18th, so I am down a total of 38 lbs. I think it is because I was sick Thursday-Tuesday and am still fighting it off. Also I've had a pretty poor appetite, but hey, I'm not complaining! I am so close to 40, another milestone!

No tips or workout routines today, just a story about a real situation that occurred a few days ago.

I was talking with a group of people about starting our own Weight Watchers group- just holding each other accountable for our actions, having weigh ins, sharing recipes. Someone else piped in and said "You guys don't need weight watchers. It's really not that hard to lose weight".

My head snapped around so fast, I could have broken my neck.

It's not that hard?

Of course, me being me, I didn't say anything except "I beg to differ". But thinking about it now, there's a lot I should have said.

You're right. It's not hard at all to wake up at 5 O'clock on a dark, freezing morning and get to the gym, put an hour workout in, and then work a full day. It's not hard at all to do 45 minutes on the treadmill at a 10 incline. It's not hard at all to chest press 60 lbs. It's not hard to go through each day watching everyone else indulge in donuts, chocolate, pizza, and other snacks while I eat egg whites, plain turkey burgers and protein bars. It's not hard to come home from a full day at work totally exhausted and have to cook my meal. It's not hard at all to sit on the couch with aching muscles and bones, knowing I will have to wake up in a few hours and do it all over again.

It's not hard when my emotions get the best of me and I become OCD about the numbers on the scale or feel incredibly guilty about eating something I shouldn't. It's not hard to put all that work in, and only lose an ounce, or not lose anything at all.

False. So, so false.

This is hard. This is the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. It's so hard that on some nights, I just cry. Because even though I'm happy and I am seeing results and feeling better, it's so damn hard.

It would be easy, my friends, to give up. It would be easy to say "you know what? Today I am not going to track everything I eat. I am just going to eat whatever I want". But if I do that, today will turn into every day, and I will be right back where I started. I will not let that happen, so instead of choosing to give up or to give myself a break or to take it easy, I keep fighting- HARD.

When this is all said and done, when I have reached my goal weight,  I will reveal my starting weight. Because I damn well know there are other people out there with the same or similar numbers, and I need them to know that this is possible. It's hard, but it's possible.

The girl who said it was easy has probably never struggled with weight. Obviously I don't know her whole background and I can't easily make that judgement, but based on what I do know, I am fairly certain that I am correct. She is probably never had to lose 100+ lbs. But when you have been overweight most of your life, when you can't sit comfortably in a car because you are too fat, when you can barely make it up a set of stairs without getting out of breath, you get it. You get that this is not easy.

Hard as it may be, it's totally worth it. I am taking control of my body and my health, and I've never felt stronger.

Weight Loss Wednesday

 

 

Not the best quality photo, but I can certainly tell a difference. Even in my hands. Look how chubby my hand is in the picture on the left compared to the right. (Do I always hold my hands like that, by the way?). And even though I'm kind of slouching in the first picture, there's even a difference in my upper arms/shoulders. Much more defined on the right side. And, the biggest difference is in my tummy and my face.

Weight Update: I'm not sure. haha. I have lost like 24.5 lbs or something silly like that. I am not weighing myself, though, until the last week in November. Because currently my body is adjusting to some different medications, plus I think I am focusing too much on the numbers on the scale. So I'm gonna give it a little break and be back with a number on November 27th (which is also the day I see my doctor again).

So, I really wasn't sure what to talk about in this blog. I feel like last week covered a lot of it. But then I started to think about my retreat again, and how my spirituality is playing a part in my weight loss.

I don't think God cares what I look like. I think He'd love me no matter what. But, I do think He cares what I FEEL like. And I think He wants me to be able to be healthy to take care of myself and others. At my starting weight on this journey, I wasn't healthy. I'm getting healthier now and have a long way to go. And I certainly did not feel good. I felt sick almost all the time, whether it was a headache, upset stomach, lethargy. God doesn't want that for me. He wants me to feel energized and free.

Also, for me, a big portion of this journey is an emotional one. I don't want to have to turn to food in every stressful situation. So I have trained my mind to turn to prayer or encouragement instead. When I'm stressed, food is not my first option anymore. Previously, under stress, I'd eat a whole pizza or a supersize McDonalds meal. (I remember once in college I was really stressed about money because I had like $10 in my bank account- so what did I do? Go to McDonalds. And spent $6 of that $10). Now, I count to ten, drink some water, take a walk, go find a friend to talk to who will make me laugh. I'll look up encouraging quotes or read the "daily motivation" from The Berry.

I am eating wiser now. We had boxes upon boxes of donuts in the office yesterday. The old me would have grabbed one of those giant, glazed and frosted chocolate ones with tons of sprinkles. Actually, the old me would have eaten two or three of these. The new me looked at all the donuts, smelled a big chocolate one, and grabbed a plain. (which by the way, is still hefty in the calorie count). I didn't want to totally deny myself, but I didn't want to go crazy, either. That's just an example of the daily things that go on in my head. I try not to stress or worry about food- but I do pay close attention to what I am eating.

If you ask me, everyone has something that tempts them that isn't good for them. Gambling, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, gossip, lies, etc. Mine is food. And now I know how to deal with it. Now I know how to care about myself enough to turn away from temptation.

Why now? Why at 26 years old? Folks that's a question I can't answer. My weight has been on ongoing battle since I was a teenager. And trust me, I've tried things before. Weight watchers, Atkins, gym memberships, nutritionist. I've tried it all. Something just snapped in me a few months ago, after a very heavy conversation with my parents, that made me realize how unhealthy I was. I was also really depressed, and had someone told me back in January/February that I needed to lose weight before something bad happened, I would have said "oh well, who cares". But I care now. Something made me want to actually start living my life again. And now, it wasn't Tom, because we weren't dating when I started this. I just, suddenly, realized that I didn't really like being unhealthy and depressed.

That's my post for today. Maybe next week will be more exciting!

 

 

Weight Loss Wednesday: Week 12

Well, since last week I have lost another three lbs, putting my total weight loss at 16 lbs! This is exciting! I cannot wait until I hit that 20 lb mark.

Last week, My "girl time" REALLY messed things up for me. It caused me to gain 5lbs overnight and those 5lbs did not go away until Mother Nature did- so frustrating. But I have to remind myself that it's nothing I did. What matters is I am still kicking butt, getting healthier, and on my way to my goal.

Sober September
I sort of feel like I didn't quite get an accurate idea of whether alcohol played a part in my weight loss or not since my period caused me to gain 5 lbs. (which, yes, I lost again, but my body did a lot of changing this month). I am going to continue on my Sober September trek until 9/28 (best friend's wedding). We'll see. HOWEVER, I will say, overall, I feel better without alcohol in my system. I don't get headaches, I feel better, and my skin is better and glowing.

Other Changes/Accomplishments/Findings

• I usually wear skirts to work in the summer, but last Friday I wore jeans for casual day. 3-4 coworkers noted that my butt looked smaller.
• Tom told me my back looks smaller. Which is probably a weird thing to observe, but I know what he means- it's more flat. Less fat. HA. #Rhymes
• I am trying to get rid of my upper arm fat by doing overhead weights. I have noticed a small change and will keep working at this.
• Tummy is slimmer
• Pants are big on me
• Bought a shirt a few months ago that was too tight at the time. Now it fits perfectly.
• Yesterday I had a really busy day and a presentation at noon. I always eat lunch at noon on the dot. So, I grabbed a bag of carrots with me on the road to the meeting and ate 5 of them, slowly. It helped hold me over until I got back to eat lunch at 2.
• I try to call my dad right after work to distract me on the way home. I know myself, and I know that I get bored driving, especially in traffic. So I call my dad, and he gets me almost all the way home with our chit chat and it stops me from grabbing chicken nuggets at Wendy's or a blizzard from Dairy Queen. Because before my weight loss journey, that's what I'd do. Grab a unhealthy snack on the way home and then eat dinner. I don't do that anymore, but I still have to distract myself so I won't!
• Today a girl at the gym who is also there every day and is super fit and thin said "I have to ask you- how much weight have you lost? I saw you working out up there and thought 'damn that girl looks good!".

Struggles

• I need to make sure I take my vitamin d. This may be one of my biggest issues. I forget to take it a lot. My levels are severely low, which can actually hurt weight loss. So, I need to make sure I take it every day. I now have a daily alarm on my phone to go off to remind me to take it. I'm going to take some notes in the next few weeks to see if it makes a difference or not.
• I'm hungry a lot. This is something that's only recently been an issue- like the past few days. I don't know what it is, but I can't get full. Obviously this could be sabotage so I am doing my best to figure out why I'm so hungry and to drink a ton of water. I've been putting lemons in my water, too. I have to find very low calorie snacks to pack during the day. Suggestions?
• I cannot seem to lose the weight in my lower tummy. It's gross because it's a little pooch. How do I get rid of this? I have been doing crunches!

EmotionallyI almost had a melt down on Friday night. It was a bad day at work anyways, my roommates were gone and I was waiting for Tom to get off work. All I wanted to do was order a large pizza all for myself and dip it in ranch. I held back, and ate a 150 calorie frozen personal pizza and salad. But the temptation was so severe I had to sit on my hands so I wouldn't order the large pizza from Jets.  It came out of nowhere. I wanted to just give up on my diet and "lifestyle change".  I thought about it all weekend and I realized: I'm scared. I am so scared that I won't be able to do this, that something will happen and I'll fail. And I really do not want that to happen. It's not about anyone else or how they'll feel, it's about me. I've been working so hard, and I can't give up now. I'm still in the beginning stages. Maybe I'm putting too much pressure on myself, but I have to remember that there is no timeline, I just have to keep going. I'm just scared that one of these days, my mind will trick me into believing I can't do it anymore and I'll just stop.

So that's why, I guess, I post so much about it on the Internet. My posts hold myself accountable. I can go back and read something I put and it pushes myself to keep going. To see the support I get from friends and family, it helps the fear go away. It gives me hope. And at this point, I need all the hope I can get.

So yes. My friends. I need some support/advice as far as the feeling hungry thing. How do I stop that? Or how do I help satisfy my tummy enough to the point where I don't sit here daydreaming of candy bars?

I think at this point I can honestly say that I need you guys. Yes I am doing this for myself and yes I am the only one that matters, but I need my friends and family to be there for encouragement. It's hard for me to admit that, but I do.

I hope you all have a good week, and I'll be back next week with another check in and some fall recipes.

Weight Loss Wednesday: Week 9

Hi kids! I haven't lost anymore weight. In fact, I had gained a pound back over the weekend, but when I stepped on the scale this morning, I lost it again.

I think I have figured out the culprit for why I don't lose weight as fast.

It's a little thing called alcohol.

No, I don't drink every night. But I do drink a lot.... more than I should.... too much on weekends. Alcohol reduces the bodies ability to lose weight. It's also full of carbs and sugar. It also makes you crave food. So when you drink too much, it slows your process down of losing weight.

Whoops.

Now, drinking a lot does not make me a bad person, I realize. I'm 26 years old. But I do need to cut back.

In order to test my hypothesis, I am giving up alcohol for two and a half solid weeks (as of this past Monday- had a beer at the Tigers game and then that was it! Done!). That will be a smidge difficult considering this weekend is my best friend's bachelorette party, but less alcohol also means less money spent, which is one of my other anxieties right now. So all in all, it will probably be a good decision. I'm doing two and a half so I can fully report to you in two weeks about how my experiment is going.

I'm going to see if I lose more weight, how I feel, etc. If it works, then I know alcohol is playing a part in my journey. I won't cut it out completely for the rest of my life, but I will cut back.

Curious, have any of you run into this at all? Or have any more knowledge on the topic? I did a lot of research yesterday on it and will be doing my own research for the next two weeks! Not a sip of alcohol until September 12th- although I'll probably drag it a little longer since I don't usually drink during the week anyways.

Moving on, here are some things I am proud of recently:

• I gave up pizza TWICE last week. Once when it was ordered for us at work (stuck to the lunch I brought!) and once at dinner at my favorite pizza place. Instead I ordered a turkey burger, no bun, with broccoli as my side. 
• I get full faster now, and don't crave snacks or sweets as much during the day.
• I can chest press 70 lbs.
• I can do 20 minutes at a time on the elliptical. Before I could do about 4. I usually do some other things and then hop back on the elliptical for another 10 minutes before I leave to get a full 30 minutes in.
• Pants are looser :)
• I bike between 4-5 miles every time I'm at the gym unless I'm swimming.
• I checked the website of the hotel where we are staying this weekend so that I could make sure they had exercise equipment.
• Ordered off the skinnylicious menu at Cheesecake Factory.
• Drink about 8 glasses of water a day
• My maid of honor dress is too big and I had to have it taken in. My guess is I will lose a few more pounds still so it may need even more alterations a week or so before the wedding!

I think that about covers it for this week. Wish me luck on being alcohol free for 2.5 weeks!

PS- just for the fun of it, let's all listen to this song since it's sort of my theme song for right now.

Weight Loss Wednesday: Week 8

Random Goodness

GUESS WHAT?

I hit my 10 pound mark. I am down 10 pounds. Actually, maybe even 11. It's coming off faster now, which I know won't last long and I'll hit a plateau soon, but for now I am enjoying it and SO happy to say that I have officially hit my 10 pound mark.

A lot of people have asked me how much weight I need to lose, or what my goal weight is. I would like to lose 115 lbs. I have a follow up with my doctor to get an accurate goal weight, but in my head, that's the number I need to lose. And I'm certainly not going to give up. I know it is going to be a long, long battle and that there will be ups and downs, but you better believe that when I hit 100 lbs, I'm having a party.

No workout log this week, I'll come back to that soon but I am changing some things up a little on the blog to keep you entertained.

In other news, I do want to say: once you start eating healthy, it becomes a habit. I no longer crave "Bad" foods. I ate Mcdonalds today because I was in a major hurry and felt sick after. I only crave sweets when I drink coffee, which I try not to do. I'd rather eat healthy than eat something fatty and full of calories.

Recipe of the week: Summer Salad

Serves 4-5 People. You can double it in a bigger bowl if you would like.
Prep time- 5-10 minutes if using frozen chicken strips

1 bag spring mix lettuce
6-8 strawberries sliced in half
feta cheese (or blue cheese)
handful of cashews
10-12 strips of grilled chicken (I used the frozen strips and zapped them for a quicker meal, but you could buy fresh meat, cook it and cut it into strips)

Let chicken cool a little before adding to salad.

I used Raspberry Vinaigrette dressing.

Emotional Journey
So I've sort of told the story of what kick started this whole weight loss journey, but I haven't talked much about the emotional journey. This is the tough part. This is the part that I kept (or tried to keep) hidden, the part that  a lot of people don't know.

Obviously my weight has been an issue for a while so we don't need to go all the way back to the start. But I can tell you that I have suffered off and on with food addiction issues since I was 16 years old. It goes hand in hand with my anxiety, and when the anxiety peaks, so does the food addiction. For the most part, though, I've had the food addiction under control for the past two years or so. I mean, I would still relapse sometimes, but it wasn't anything like it used to be.

When my heart was broken in March, I went back to some of my old ways. Nothing like it used to be, but my anxiety peaked, which led to ditching the diet I was on at the time and basically saying "Screw it, no one wants to love me anyways". That was the attitude I had from March until July. That it didn't matter what I weighed or what I looked like because I was just going to keep getting my heart broken. So I stopped caring and trying. I was sad. I tried my best to hide it because I didn't want people to think that I was weak or being too dramatic. But most mornings, I had to force myself out of bed. I thank God that Sam and Lauren were here because if they weren't, I may have never left my house.

So yeah. I was sad, very sad, which led to me not giving two shoots what I looked like or put in my body. I was tired, I was angry and I was hurt. So when those headaches came on and it kickstarted this weight loss journey, it also kickstarted my emotional journey of getting me better. Healing.

I can tell you that since I have started working out and eating right, I feel better physically and emotionally. I look forward to my days now. I feel happier and more pleasant, and not like I'm going to snap someone's neck at any given moment, which is how I was feeling before. I know. Scary.

People have commented on my weight loss, that I look smaller or my pants look bigger. But Paula, sweet Paula who helped me to start this journey, is the one who noticed my eyes. She said, and I qoute "Your eyes don't look so dark and sad anymore". She hit it spot on, and she barely even knows me nor does she have any idea the funk that I was in before she came along. I wouldn't be doing this without her.

Life is good right now, kids. I'm not going to give up and I'm certainly not ever going to let a stupid childish man cause me to go into one of those funks ever again.

Love.

Weight Loss Wednesday: Week 6

So guys, I've lost a total of 6 lbs since I've started dieting! I can't tell quite yet, although I do think my face is smaller and I see it on my sides. My trainer has encouraged me to do more core work do tighten my stomach muscles because he also thinks I'm losing it on my sides. He also had me step on the BMI scale and it's a little smaller than it was when I started! YEEEEEEEEE.

I can't wait until I can say I've lost 10 lbs. I know that day is coming soon, and that things will only get better from there.

I do feel a lot better now that I am on 4,000 IU of vitamin d. My energy level is much, much higher. I don't feel like going to sleep at my desk anymore. Just have to make sure I take it.


Workout Log
Thursday, 8/1 I knew I'd have a double header for softball that night, so I skipped my morning workout. I'm never really sure how many calories I burn at softball. I'm the catcher, so I don't do a lot of running around in the field but I certainly get up and down a lot. Myfitnesspal says an hour of slow pitch softball burns 900 calories, but there's no way that's true. I'd say about 300.
Friday, 8/2 Woke up and got my swim in! I finally felt confident as my eyes have been okay (just dry). Felt good to be back in the pool again.
Saturday, 8/3 Woke up early on a Saturday and had an amazing workout, one of the best I've had. I was at the gym for an hour and a 1/2. Biked 4.5 miles, did over 1,000 steps on the nustep, and walked a mile.
Sunday 8/4 I had a night of drinking Saturday  I had a late night Saturday, so there was no getting me up and to the gym even if you paid me.
Monday 8/5 Zumba! I had to miss it the past two weeks so I was ready to get back in. It's tough to come back into it though- you kinda forget how hard it is.
Tuesday 8/6 Had one of those mornings where waking up to go to the gym was the LAST thing I wanted to do. Forced myself and got a good bike ride in. Still putting Couch to 5k on hold until my shin splint issue is resolved.
Wednesday 8/7 Swim day! I had a weird night of sleep. I had a medication change and my body is getting used to it, so I have a little tummy ache and was pretty lethargic. Swimming was a challenge, but I still got 40 minutes in.

Other Things

• I go out to a sit down restaurant probably 2-3 times a week. I know to some even that is a lot, but hey, I'm young. I like to go out. Anyways, I've found a trick and that trick is called google. Google the menu ahead of time. Figure out what you can eat without splurging on your diet.
• Example: Red Robin has an amazing app for the iphone where you can customize your meal to figure out how many calories your meal is before you order it. My meal, which was a grilled chicken sandwich in a lettuce wrap with guacamole and a side of fruit, was only 250 calories and it was delicious! My normal meal there, a turkey burger with fries, is 1,012 calories. And that's without the side of ranch I'd usually get.
• DRINK WATER. AND THEN MORE WATER.
• My friend Jenn introduced me to a world of smoothies. I've never really "got" smoothies or understood how people could drink them as a meal. But on Friday she brought me to Beyond Juice and my world may have changed! The smoothies are delicious, and filling, good for breakfast. I think I am going to try one at my gym.
• Don't starve yourself. Eat healthy snacks in between meals. this has been one of the hardest lessons I've learned.
• Being on your girl time and dieting is a very tough combo. You feel awful and lazy, and you want to eat everything. Push through it.

I think that's it for now. I haven't been home the past few Sunday's to cook my Sunday meal, and I won't be there this week either. But I'm still looking for new recipes!

weight loss wednesday: week 5

I'm a tad frustrated. I haven't lost any more weight. I have a meeting with my trainer on Friday to make sure I'm doing my workouts correctly. In the meantime, here are some possible reasons as to why I'm not losing weight:

-I have extremely low vitamin d levels. It's hard to lose weight with low vitamin d. (Seriously, I'm not making that up. google it!). I was put on 2,000 iu a day a few weeks ago, but my internist has upped it to 4,000 just on Monday. I'm gonna be walking on sunshine ya'll!
-I'm building a ton of muscle. I'm trying to tone as well as lose weight. I'm up to pushing 70lbs on the sitting row machine and 60 on shoulder and chest press. My arms are getting really strong. My legs are getting stronger with the bike and walking/jogging I'm doing.
-I had to miss Zumba and that's a high calorie loss workout for me.
-I haven't been swimming, because of my eye situation, and that's where I burn a ton of calories also.

So, I think I just need to work with my trainer on doing higher burning workouts at the gym. I also need him to help me with the whole shin splint situation.

Workout Log

• Thursday 7/25 Couch to 5k training in the morning, and a double header softball game in the afternoon. We only played 1/2 the second game though, so it's not like it was a super intense work out.
• Friday 7/26. I'm the crazy fool who woke up early the day I was leaving for vacation to go work out. I did my circuit training and burned about 300 calories.
• Saturday 7/27 Rode my bike 8 miles around Mackinac Island. We stopped a lot and weren't going fast, but still. A good workout!
• Sunday 7/28 Off day, unless you count walking around Bronners Christmas Store.
• Monday 7/29 My Birthday! I woke up early, attempted to do Couch to 5k but got severe shin splints so I stopped and did 3 miles on the bike, 15 minutes on the nustep, and weights.
• Tuesday 7/30 I was really way too tired to work out Tuesday morning, so I went in the afternoon instead and once again attempted couch to 5k training, but once again my shin splints were very painful. So I did the bike again, and weights.
• Wednesday 7/31 Still a little iffy about my eye. So I did 4 miles on the bike, 12 minutes on the nustep, and 10 minutes on the row machine which is freaking HARD. Also did a quick set of weights for my arms.

Other Random Things

• Although the numbers on the scale don't reflect what I want to see, I feel so much better and stronger. Now I just want the pounds to shed off.
• It's possible to make healthy choices when eating fast food. Fries sound good, but a small fry is 310 calories. Add a crispy chicken sandwich (my personal favorite) into the mix, and your meal is 850 calories and a ton of fat/salt! I went to Wendy's on Friday and I got a grilled chicken sandwich without the bun and a baked potato, plain with just salt and pepper on it. (and only a little salt). My meal was about 440 calories, half of what I would normally choose.
• Subway has the healthiest "fast food" breakfast. Although I try to keep breakfast at work or bring it with me, sometimes I forget. So I did some random googling of nutrition menus to see what the healthiest breakfast was. Subway wins. I can get a 3" flatbread with egg white, pepper jack cheese, ham, and green pepper for just 106 calories. That's way less than anything on a McDonalds menu, or even Tim Horton's.  Plus Subway's website has a cool "calculate your own" tool so you can see if what you want to add makes a difference.
• Be weary of salads! Not every salad is healthy! Get the dressing on the side and take out cheese.
• Try to cook at home as often as possible, try new recipes. When you do cook, immediately put half in a Tupperware to bring to work for lunch. That way you won't overeat at dinner.
• Go for a walk at work. Even if it's just around the building. I force myself to get up at least once a day and take a quick walk around the building. Except now I have to bring a coworker because there was a murder in the apartment complex next door.  Isn't life exciting?
• Recruit your friends to work out or to make healthy eating choices. It's so much easier to do this when the people around you are being careful, too.
• I know that not every gym is like this, but mine has trainers walking around the place at all times helping you with machines. Today I was having issues on the bike, I felt like I wasn't going fast enough. I got up and asked a trainer to come over and she told me my seat was too low. It was a quick fix, but it helped a ton. So don't be afraid to ask!

weight loss wednesday: week 4

Workout Log

• 7/18. One of my proudest days of this journey so far. I did week 2, day 2 of couch 2 5k training without stopping. I also played softball in the 93 degree heat. And I played a good game- minus the time the ball dropped out of my glove when trying to get someone out at home. But other than that, I did well. I hit the ball further than I usually do and made it on base every time. And I wasn't tired running the bases, which is a difference. I used to feel out of breath just running to first base! We won our game 11-6.
• 7/19 I gave myself a rest day. I had suffered a very intense and strange migraine Thursday post workout and pre softball game. Needed a rest!
• 7/20 Crazy storm caused the gym to lose power, so I did Couch to 5k training outside. Did pretty well, added an extra 30 seconds of running.
• 7/21 Still no power at the gym. Instead, I went to my parents house and helped them move stuff out of their basement. We made at least 10 trips up and down the steps carrying heavy items, so I know I burned some calories.
• 7/22 I had to go to the eye doctor to get my eyes checked because they have been bothering me. They didn't find anything wrong, but want me to come back in a week if my problem continues. And so far, my problem has continued. Still feel a little glow in my eyes. I came home from the doctor and sat in my house with the light off and  sunglasses on, working from home. Then I took a nap and slept through Zumba. No workout on Monday.
• 7/23 Woke up early and did couch to 5k. did okay except I forced myself to stop a few times to drink water so that I would not get dehydrated. Burned about 200 calories.
• 7/24 This is usually my swim day, but since my eyes have been acting crazy  I didn't want to add chlorine to the mix. I have goggles, but still, wanted to be careful. I didn't work out Wednesday.

Things I'm Proud Of

• On Thursday my parents took me to grab some dinner after the softball game. They had already had dinner, but I had not because I had a big lunch that day. So we went to Coney Island. I had an omelet with egg whites instead of eggs, no hash browns, and a dry English muffin instead of toast. And I didn't even ask them for a bite of their large chocolate sundae's.
• Had lunch with my roomie Lauren on Saturday. Had a turkey sub with fruit instead of fries.
• Turned down a Panera brownie at work. I . LOVE. PANERA. BROWNIES.
• Brought grilled chicken strips and broccoli for lunch at work today.

Other thoughts/Observations

• Weekends are really, really hard for me. I made some choices this past weekend that weren't the healthiest. Nothing horrible, but I could have done better. I just need to stay focused. I'm worried about this weekend because I'm headed Up North with my friends for three days. It's also my birthday weekend. I'll need to watch my snacking and choices, and be strict on drinking water and eating healthy. Hope I can do it! And I'm going to try to squeeze in some workouts. Maybe go for a little jog or hike, and I'm planning on bike riding on Saturday at Mackinac Island.
• Saw someone yesterday who I had not seen in about 3 months and doesn't read my blogs or facebook. Her first words "Are you losing weight? You look good!" Score.
• There are days I don't feel as focused as others. This week has been hard because I'm doing a lot of traveling for work and am trying to get ready for the weekend. But I know I can do it.

5k Training
I am repeating week 2. I did it well this week, but I have some extra weeks hidden before the big day. So I've decided to repeat week 2 and try to increase my speed a bit. Although, I am not really increasing my speed, because I make myself stop to drink water. But hey. I'll get there. And I know I may be last.

Weight Loss Wednesday

Welcome to a new segment of my blog: Weight Loss Wednesday!

I really thought about making the entire blog about weight loss, but that thought only lasted about a second before I realized how much I'd miss things like Tuesday Tunes/Top Ten Tuesday, short story's, letters to Ryan, and general posts. So, I'm gonna stab at doing it every Wednesday.

I'm about two weeks into my weight loss journey.

But here's the thing.

I didn't weigh myself when I started.

I know. I know. How am I on a weight loss journey without knowing my exact starting weight?

Maybe I'm weird, but I don't want to obsess over numbers. I want to track my progress based on how I feel and how my clothes feel, not the scale. Because I've been through this enough times to know that if the number isn't what I want it to be, I'll give up.

So instead, I took a picture of myself today. And I'll take one every month. Plus, at my new gym they measured by body fat, so I will do that every month also.

Since I'm new to Weight Loss Wednesday, here's a little background info.

What made you start this journey?
Well, I've sorted of hinted at this before. But what really kicked it off was a big talk I had with my parents a few weeks ago. It was when I was having those headaches/dizzy spells and we thought it perhaps could be high blood pressure. It wasn't...but I decided I still wanted to do something about my weight. I got a bunch of blood work done and learned that I am borderline diabetic. I am not quite there, but if I don't do something, I will be. So that was a big reason.

The other reason is really no secret to my friends and family, so I might as well spill to the internet as well, right? Right. I've also hinted at this (mostly in my Ryan letters) but back in March, the guy I was dating at the time broke my heart. We had only been together 3.5 months, but I had never had such strong feelings for someone in my life. So I was pretty devastated when he chose his ex girlfriend over me. The break up was a big, big mess and it caused me to go into a funk. I turned very negative and didn't take care of myself. I gained weight and wasn't happy. It was only a few weeks ago when I decided I really can't let him have that kind of control over me. So part of my motivation is that whole situation. I'm gonna turn all that negativity into positivity.

What gym do you go to?
I joined Sola Life and Fitness and I'm obsessed. I love talking about my gym. I heard about it through a family friend. It is a reasonable price and that price includes personal trainers, fitness classes, nutrition classes, use of the pool, etc. When you first join you have a fitness assessment and the trainers give you a personal program to use. I love it. I've sent a few people there and will send anyone else who asks about it. The people there are awesome, it's clean, and it's super nice. They have new machines, the classes are FANTASTIC. I just can't get enough!

What do you do at the gym?
I mix it up. I am not the kind of person who can do the same thing all the time or I get incredibly bored.

1-2x a week I do Zumba. Monday evenings (except the Monday's that I volunteer at Gilda's club, which is only once a month) and Saturday mornings. I love Zumba, it's one of the best ways to exercise because it's fun. You burn anywhere from 600-1000 calories per class, so it's a great work out.

1-2x a week I swim. Swimming is my FAVORITE way of exercising. I love being in the water, and when I'm doing it as a work out I push myself really hard and do a bunch of laps. I usually am in there for about 40-50 minutes. I kick back and forth or do laps. The other day all the lap lanes were full so I used the walking lane and did lunges back and forth and used water weights will I did them. Wednesday's have become my swim day, and Sunday's when I go to the gym I swim too. But I don't/won't go every Sunday. That's kinda my day.

1-2 x a week I do my cardio/circuit training. This one I don't love so much, but I'm learning new things and starting to like it more. I change this up based on the plan my trainer and I worked on. Today I did 10 minutes on the Nustep, 10 minutes on the treadmill (at an incline), 10 minutes on the bike, and then 10 minutes of weights/core.

So I go about 5-6 days a week. I do not go on Thursday's because I have softball. And I try not to go on Sunday's because it's my day to rest and relax before a new week, but this past Sunday I did because I woke up WANTING to go. My goal is to go at least 4 days a week.

What are you eating?
Well, again, I like to change it up. Just like I get bored with exercise, I get bored with food, and if I made myself eat celery sticks and grilled chicken every day I'd go nuts. So I am just careful about what I eat and portion size.

My food diary for yesterday looked like this:
Breakfast: Egg white and turkey on an English muffin
1 glass Orange juice

Lunch: Panera Broccoli and Cheddar Soup
Banana
Pretzel Crisps

Snack: Trail Mix

Dinner: Lean Turkey Burger, no bun
Red Skin potatoes
Corn

Dessert: Banana w/ 2 tbsp. peanut butter.

There are clearly things I could do better on (soup was cream based which is probably a no no, and I could have chosen carrots over trail mix). But, I decided early on that I wasn't going to completely deny myself food, because that is just getting myself up to cheat. What I am trying to do is watch my sodium intake.


How Do You Feel?
Sore.

No, seriously, I do feel sore.

But I kinda like feeling sore, because it means I'm working hard. when I crawl into bed at night I can feel my muscles relax.

I feel better. So much better. And it's only been two weeks. I just feel more energetic, and accomplished. I also am rubbing off on some people around me. I get to work first now because I go to gym in the morning, and everyone asks what workout I did that day. My two roommates have started watching their diets and are going to start working out. I love that we can all do this together!

What Will You Write About Every Week?
Who knows? I sure don't! I might share a new recipe I learned, a new workout I enjoy, pictures, etc. I really have no idea. But I hope you read, comment, and share your tips and tricks!