Weight Loss Wednesday: Week 8

Random Goodness

GUESS WHAT?

I hit my 10 pound mark. I am down 10 pounds. Actually, maybe even 11. It's coming off faster now, which I know won't last long and I'll hit a plateau soon, but for now I am enjoying it and SO happy to say that I have officially hit my 10 pound mark.

A lot of people have asked me how much weight I need to lose, or what my goal weight is. I would like to lose 115 lbs. I have a follow up with my doctor to get an accurate goal weight, but in my head, that's the number I need to lose. And I'm certainly not going to give up. I know it is going to be a long, long battle and that there will be ups and downs, but you better believe that when I hit 100 lbs, I'm having a party.

No workout log this week, I'll come back to that soon but I am changing some things up a little on the blog to keep you entertained.

In other news, I do want to say: once you start eating healthy, it becomes a habit. I no longer crave "Bad" foods. I ate Mcdonalds today because I was in a major hurry and felt sick after. I only crave sweets when I drink coffee, which I try not to do. I'd rather eat healthy than eat something fatty and full of calories.

Recipe of the week: Summer Salad

Serves 4-5 People. You can double it in a bigger bowl if you would like.
Prep time- 5-10 minutes if using frozen chicken strips

1 bag spring mix lettuce
6-8 strawberries sliced in half
feta cheese (or blue cheese)
handful of cashews
10-12 strips of grilled chicken (I used the frozen strips and zapped them for a quicker meal, but you could buy fresh meat, cook it and cut it into strips)

Let chicken cool a little before adding to salad.

I used Raspberry Vinaigrette dressing.

Emotional Journey
So I've sort of told the story of what kick started this whole weight loss journey, but I haven't talked much about the emotional journey. This is the tough part. This is the part that I kept (or tried to keep) hidden, the part that  a lot of people don't know.

Obviously my weight has been an issue for a while so we don't need to go all the way back to the start. But I can tell you that I have suffered off and on with food addiction issues since I was 16 years old. It goes hand in hand with my anxiety, and when the anxiety peaks, so does the food addiction. For the most part, though, I've had the food addiction under control for the past two years or so. I mean, I would still relapse sometimes, but it wasn't anything like it used to be.

When my heart was broken in March, I went back to some of my old ways. Nothing like it used to be, but my anxiety peaked, which led to ditching the diet I was on at the time and basically saying "Screw it, no one wants to love me anyways". That was the attitude I had from March until July. That it didn't matter what I weighed or what I looked like because I was just going to keep getting my heart broken. So I stopped caring and trying. I was sad. I tried my best to hide it because I didn't want people to think that I was weak or being too dramatic. But most mornings, I had to force myself out of bed. I thank God that Sam and Lauren were here because if they weren't, I may have never left my house.

So yeah. I was sad, very sad, which led to me not giving two shoots what I looked like or put in my body. I was tired, I was angry and I was hurt. So when those headaches came on and it kickstarted this weight loss journey, it also kickstarted my emotional journey of getting me better. Healing.

I can tell you that since I have started working out and eating right, I feel better physically and emotionally. I look forward to my days now. I feel happier and more pleasant, and not like I'm going to snap someone's neck at any given moment, which is how I was feeling before. I know. Scary.

People have commented on my weight loss, that I look smaller or my pants look bigger. But Paula, sweet Paula who helped me to start this journey, is the one who noticed my eyes. She said, and I qoute "Your eyes don't look so dark and sad anymore". She hit it spot on, and she barely even knows me nor does she have any idea the funk that I was in before she came along. I wouldn't be doing this without her.

Life is good right now, kids. I'm not going to give up and I'm certainly not ever going to let a stupid childish man cause me to go into one of those funks ever again.

Love.