Monday, May 30, 2011

new writing

Transfering my new writing from tumblr to here...

"Girl You Write About"

We were swapping stories over coffee
When you told me you were a poet
And I just rolled my eyes
Darling, aren’t we all
I wasn’t ready to give you a chance
But then the tables, they turned
And I fell so fast for you
Suddenly I’m dying to be
The girl you write about
And it’s so cliché, our little story
Two strangers who’ve given up on love
But I‘ve got room in my heart for you
And I think it’s time you let me in
Cuz I’m dying to be
The girl you write about
I told my friends about you
I said he’s a poet
And they rolled their eyes
Darling, aren’t they all
-megan carolin

My friends are waiting
Not so patiently
For me to get over you
They don’t know me very well
Because I’m never going to
Give up all of this
It’s not that I haven’t tried
I make a wish that you’ll disappear
So I can stop chasing you
But as long as you stick around
Honey I’m stuck on you
Call me crazy and desperate
But I’ll take those over lonely
And dear when you’re around
The lonely goes away
My friends, they wonder what I see in you
It’s your sweet soul that
Has had me captured since that very first day
It’s the hope you gave me
To sum it all up, you’re perfect
So to my so call friends
I know this is hard for you
You call me crazy and desperate
But I’d take those over lonely
And dears, when he’s around,
The lonely goes away
So let me love him
As long as he’s around
I’m so stuck on him

"Mess Like Me"
I wish I knew how to love me
Talkin to ya late last night
I had an epiphany
The reason I run from you
Is because I’m running from me
And I know you said you’d stick around
But what if I can’t be cured
How long are you willing to wait
For a mess like me?
And I always come back to you
Because the truth is I need you
I’m not the biggest fan of me
I say I’ll change but I never do
I don’t know how to love me
And I know you said you’d stick around
But what if I can’t be cured
How long are you willing to wait
For a mess like me?
I’ve got some figuring out to do
My heart is in desperate need of repairs
I’m learning how to love me
Maybe then I can love you too
But this isn’t a quick fix
So How long are you willing to wait
For a mess like me?

"Mr. Whoever You Are"
Every night I think…One day I’ll find him
You’ll open my eyes to a brand new world
I think I found him, and I think he’s you
There’s just one obstacle
You’re nothing but a stranger
So Dear Mr Whoever you are,
I just wanted to tell ya
You make my day worthwhile
You’ve got me
Thinking maybe, just maybe
The distance between us will disappear
Let’s break the barrier between us
Don’t you wonder why our paths keep crossing
Couldn’t it be fate that brought us both to this place
Dear Mr Whoever you are
I just wanted to tell ya
You make my day worthwhile
You’ve got me
Thinking maybe, just maybe
The distance between us will disappear
I don’t want to be passing strangers anymore
Dr Mr Whoever you are,
I’d like to know who you are.

"Have Hope"
We’re all watching you
Holding our breath
Waiting for you to fall to pieces
Maybe this time you need to break
Maybe it will be okay to crash
And I don’t know why
I seem so invested in you
All I know is, I can’t watch you fade away
Why do you let you abuse you like that?
All that mess bringing you down?
Leave it behind
Sweets, none of it matters
The cure is simple:Have hope
What’s meant to be,
Well it always finds its way
So have patience
I promise I won’t let you fade away
I won’t leave you behind

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Season 10: Top 20 Performances

Well, Season 10. We've had our ups and downs. I'm happy with the winner, as I predicted it would be Scotty all along. My favorites? Casey, Jacob, Naima. And here, my friends, are my top 20 favorite performances from Season 10.

20. Paul McDonald, Maggie Mae. At first, Paul was one of my favorites. Loved his unique sound! I tired of him pretty quickly, but I enjoyed this perfomance.

19. Paul and Kendra, Blackbird. I love the way their voices sound together! I never thought Kendra was as amazing as everyone else seemed to, but this was a stand out Hollywood week performance for me.

18. Lauren, Candle in The Wind. Lauren has such a strong voice for her age. I don't think she's quite up there yet, but this was one of my favorites from her.

17. James, "Uprising". I was never a big James fan, but I thoroughly enjoyed this performance.

16. Lauren Turner, Seven Day Fool. This girl was STRAIGHT. UP. ROBBED. Her voice is outstanding. I'm still super bitter that she did not make it into the top 13. I hope she continues to pursue music.

15. Lauren and Scotty, I Told You So. Flawless.

14. Pia, All Is Fair. Still gives me chills.

13. Haley, Bennie and the Jets (Swan Song Version). I was never on the Haley train, but for some reason I LOVED when she did this as her goodbye. I think it has a lot to do with her energy and the fact that she and Naima had a dance party.

12. Naima, Dancing In The Streets. I love this girl and her creative energy!

11. Scotty, Gone. Scotty is IN IT TO WIN IT!

10. Casey and Haley, Moanin. Their voices are so amazing together.

9. Jacob, You're All I Need To Get By. I seriously loved every Jacob performance (except No Air). This one makes me cry.

8. Stefano, If You Don't Know Me By Now. Though call between this one and Need You Now. But when I think of Stefano I think this song.

7. Casey, I Put A Spell On You. I fell madly in love with him during this performance.

6.Scotty, You've Got A Friend. So beautiful!

5. Lauren, Anyway I really connect with this song and thought Lauren did a beautiful job.

4. Pia, I'll Stand By You. Because she came out there, did this song and left America in tears.

3. Haley, I Who Have Nothing. Now you're probably wondering...if you didn't like Haley why is she in your top 3? Well. Because even I can admit that this was outstanding.

2. Jacob, A House Is Not A Home My Jacob boo!

1. Casey, I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends. If I could, I would have put every Casey performance on this list :)

Monday, May 23, 2011

and I do, I do believe music can heal my soul

So you know how sometimes you see a singer/band on tv or hear them on the radio and you immediatley think of someone in your life? Example- I cannot hear the name "Barry Manilow" without thinking of my mother. And last night, while watching the Billboard awards, I saw Kylie Minogue and thought of this girl that I barely know, but I know she loves Kylie. Music is just so great that way- it connects people.

I was curious, so I asked on twitter what artists remind people of me. These are the responses that I got:

Lady Antebellum
Taylor Swift
Lady Gaga
Bruno Mars
Spill Canvas
Spill Canvas
Usher (random)
Jason Castro

And it just sort of struck me as funny, because although I do LOVE each of those artists, there are so many more I am constantly listening too that weren't named. I guess I talk about the above the most, which is good because that means that I am doing my job as a fan...I make people aware of the artists I love. But my poor bands like Anberlin, Cartel, Never Shout Never, NeedToBreathe, The Rocket Summer- they all got the boot on this one. Sorry. Maybe those are like my musical secrets. Because usually, I'm listening to those alone. In my room while writing or in the car on long drives. But they have just as much plays on my itunes as Melinda or Mandisa. Strange.

Anyways, I hope that maybe by knowing me, you have gained an appreciation for the above artists. Because Lord knows they deserve it :)

On another music note....last night, Mandisa retweeted something from one of her fans. The fan said that she couldn't fit Mandisa's new album in her budget. I offered to gift it to her. I got such sweet comments from other Mandisa fans, and Mandisa herself. I just hope people understand my reasons for gifting- it was not to get Mandisa's attention. It was- 1. People have done similiar things for me and I know how grateful I was, so I decided to pay it forward. 2. Mandisa's album did SO much for my heart (and is still doing) that I want other people to be able to get inspired. Music is something to be shared, especially when it can change lives.

I love you all and I apologize for this random, all over the place post. Have a great week!

PS: GAGA fans- favorite song on the new album? Mine is Edge of Glory.

Sunday, May 15, 2011


I know I'm seven days late on the whole "Mother's Day" blog thing, but hey- better late than never!

So, a few years ago, I gave my mom a lovely Christmas present. I contacted students past and present and asked them to write her a letter of gratitude. I received TONS of feedback, filling two books worth of letters. There were letters from her class at the time all the way back to her favorite student from 30 years ago.

This year, I decided I'd update a little, and have her current class write letters. This class has had its ups and downs with my mama. She loves them, but they are they drive her crazy :-) I wanted her to know how much they love her, so I asked the parents to have their children write a letter. The cutest part is that most of them are handwritten, so they have adorable 2nd grade writing and spelling errors.

I love my mom, and I talk about her a lot. She really is my best friend. I will admit I was worried about moving home because I thought that we would fight all the time. And yes, we fight, but the relationship we have is so special. She is my everything :-) Ever since I was in 3rd grade, I've had to share her with all the "kids" in her classroom. I see how much time she devotes to them. I don't mind sharing, because I know she is making an incredible impact she is making on their lives. My mom is the best teacher I know, hands down. I hear that ALL THE TIME from parents.

Here is a chance for you to see the impact she has made on her class this year. This is just a small sample of how loved she is at that school by students and parents a like. Enjoy some of my favorite quotes from their letters!

I kept in some of my favorite spelling/grammar mistakes :)

-I appreciate how you are to me. I know you love becaus you act like it and you want to macke me right. PS I love you so much!

-You always taught us math, science, religion, social studies, and all other diferent stuff.

-You have been so good to us . Like letting us stay in your classroom when mom is at work. My family gives you hugs. (This is from Lizzy, one of the Carter kids)

-I love that you are supper nice to everyone. If I was in an older grade and saw a shooting star, I would wish to go back to second grade.

-We have had our ups and down but we are still good friends, Mrs. C.

-Mrs Carolin. You are my favorite because you are 1. Very Strict. 2. Very nice.3. Always happy to see your class. 4. Peaceful and calm.

-Thanks for being the best! Heads above all the rest! Even when we act like pests, and put you to the test, you always fill our lessons with lots of zest!

-Mrs. Carolin, I think of you as family and always will. One of the things I like about you, is you never give up, even when Notre Dame loses one game or more. Another thing I like is you give me hope.

-Mrs. Carolin is my favorite teacher in the whole wide world. I sometimes drive her crazy but I know she likes me.

-You are the best teacher I ever had. You have the best ideas. I love it! My whole family loves you! When it's my birthday in the older grades, I won't forget to visit you!

-At the begening of the year I heard you were stricked and I liked that. You are my kind of teacher! I tried not to spill the beans of this surprise and it worked. Thank you for providing me and all my classmates to have a very good education.

I love you Mama.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

night of the arts

I'm having an incredibly difficult time writing this blog. I want to be able to word things correctly, so I can get across to you just how I feel. Here goes nothing...

Last night, I attended "Night of The Arts", a talent show of sorts put on by students and staff at Cristo Rey. I wanted to go to be able to support them, as this was the first time they've done something like this. Plus, all proceeds went directly to the school, and since I was once a volunteer at that school, I love to be able to give back when I can. I expected to see some of my old students and friends who teach at the school-what I did not expect was to walk away with a heart full of pride, joy, and inpiration.

First of all, the room where the show was held was decorated with student artwork. Now I've always known our kids had a strong talent in art, but to see it scattered across the room and people walking around admiring it was truly beautiful. Before the show I was able to walk around and catch up with students and friends. I was excited to see so much participation from freshmen, even though I don't know them. It was obvious how excited they were about the school. And, of course, seeing my sophomores and junior was so wonderful. They mean the world to me :-)

So the show itself? Umm outstanding. I got chills in every act. I have to say, though, my favorite part was kids who went up there and read poetry. They were all kids that I have had, all of them sat in my creative writing class last year. Most of them? I had to push to write. They'd come into the class out of curiosty, sit there looking bored, and then write a beautiful piece. They never quite understood how good they were, so I had to remind them- and hound them- to keep writing. I was proud of them for being brave enough to share their writing in front of all those people, because I know how precious it is to them, and how personal it is. They truly shared their hearts.

I also have to give a little shoutout to my buddy Omar. He had a table set up with his photography, and I am not joking you guys, it is some FANTASTIC stuff. That doesn't even do it justice- it should be in magazines, on billboards. Goregous! There was a picture of the Fox Theatre in Detroit that, I believe, could become a famous picture. It makes me extra proud because my roomie, co-worker, and friend, Dave, is the one who pushed Omar to give photography a try, mentored him, and now look at Omar! He is trying to raise money to go to an art program this summer. If you are interested in helping him out, please let me know. He deserves it, and he needs it!

All of the kids- no matter what their talent- displayed such honesty, passion, and bravery. I sat there in the audience with a huge smile on my face knowing that for that one night, they were stars, they were on top. They deserved it. I hope that each of them continue to use art as an outlet, to express themselves through music, drawing, poetry, rap, whatever it is that gives them that hope and that happiness.

I miss that school more than anything. Sometimes it hurts that I'm not "part of it" anymore, but at the same time...I'll always be a part of that place, and those kids will always be in my heart. I will never forget that amazing year I shared with wonderful staff and students. To my co-workers, and to the new staff who continue to do remarkable things over there, I am proud of you too. You are shaping the future. We all know that job isn't easy, and never routine. But the dedication you all have to those kids lives is truly inspiring.


Monday, May 9, 2011

keep it positive

I've had a very serious lack in energy for writing ever since the A-Z challenge ended. I asked for suggestions on Facebook, got a great one from Linda- "One positive thing you witness each day". I have many, so I decided to write a list.

-Seeing sunshine out my window when I wake up in the morning. It is such a sweet relief to wake up to that rather than pitch dark skies and freezing weather.
-When my mom and I are on the same schedule and getting ready for work together.
-Listening to 96.3 on my way to work. I love that morning show. The three of them have this wonderful energy with each other, they are more like family than radio show hosts. Allyson cracks me up, and lately has inspired me with her weight loss. I love them and love that they are so community focused.
-The fact that I have a job that I can drive to every morning :-)
-My co-workers who have been so super supportive of me and willing to help, even in the crazy transition phase we are going through.
-My volunteers who have compassionate hearts and listening ears.
-Getting text messages throughout the day- the random surprise ones are the best!
-Going to the gym after work when I get the chance and seeing the "usual after work crowd".
-Home cooked meals at the table with my parents, talking about our days. I love listening to my mom's stories about her kids and their crazy antics.
-Watching "our shows" (yes I'm a nerd)- Glee, Idol.
-Reading before bed, having a conversation with God, and then drifting off to sleep
-Seeing the beauty in people and in this world, every single day.

Monday, May 2, 2011


Yes, this entry is past due. Scandal.

So often we are told "push out of your comfort zone". I'm a firm believer in this as well. We should push ourselves to take it a step further, it's how we grow and how we learn. Make a mistake? It's okay. You don't have to hide away because of it. You can make changes.

However, I also believe- sometimes we need that comfort zone. Not to rely on it or use it as a crutch, but so that we do not get burned out. What good are we if we are not good to ourselves? You can work work work, push yourself to the limit, and completely exhaust yourself, or you can remember to work hard and take chances, but keep a healthy balance with taking care of yourself and your needs.

Last year I was a full time volunteer. No pay, living in community, working with at-risk teens. You better believe I was burned out. But I remembered to take my own time. Go back to my comfort zone- whether that was sitting at the kitchen table with my headphones in, writing in my journal...taking a nap, or going home to visit my family, I absolutely needed to do those things in order to continue to be a successful volunteer/employee of the school.

My point? Find something- HEALTHY- that you can do for yourself every day, to keep yourself balanced and in check.

Thank you all for keeping up with my a-z challenge. If you had a favorite post, please tell me which one it was. Thank you!

Happy May!

Oh...and because this song has been in my head this entire post- here.

Sunday, May 1, 2011


Ten People.

1. You are going to be okay. May you experience hope, strength, love, and emotional healing. Life is too great. You do have a future, and a great one at that, with your "go getter" attitude, maturity, and respect for others. You can talk to anyone, easily. You just need to believe in yourself, have a little faith, and hold onto hope. You're going to be okay.

2. You have helped me tremendously these past few weeks. You're passion, loyalty, and kindness truly shine. You are honest, encouraging, and genuine. You are respected by everyone and an extremely hard working individual. It has been a true honor to get to know you.

3. You've had your share of let downs, but you remain one of the sweetest and most positive people in my life. Something is going to happen for you. You are too talented, too genuine, too good for it not to happen. You are probably frustrated, but you don't let it show. Keep at it. You are an incredible person and friend. Stay positive.

4. Like the last person, you certainly have had quite a roller coaster of a year. It's not fair that you are going through a rough time, especially because you are so gifted, giving, and loving. You are in my prayers as you continue to fight and carry on. Thank you for everything you have taught me. You will get through this mess. We are all on your side.

5. You are one of my favorite people in the entire world. Having you back in my life is so wonderful. You are extremely friendly, sweet, and understanding. You are admirable in many ways. You have a special place in my heart. Thank you.

6. You are so creative, patient, compassionate, funny...the list of admirable qualities goes on and on. You are one of my best friends. You are just a joy to be around. You need to come visit :-)

7. You make me so proud! You do all these wonderful things for the school, the city, your friends and family. You truly make a difference in people's lives, easily. You are one of those unforgettable people. Your words and actions are so careful, so genuine. You have a passion for life and it shows. You are another one of my best friends, and heroes.

8. You are such an amazing young lady. You are confident, mature, honest, and understanding. You handle things with such strength. You are going to continue to do well and make an impact on this world with your intelligence, sense of humor, and kindness. You are like a little sister to me.

9. You pretty much always know the right thing to say- whether it is words of comfort, advice, or just making someone laugh, you always have it spot on. You are patient and gentle, kind and understanding. You aren't afraid to stand up for what you believe in. You have taught me so much about life. Opposite of the person above, You are like a big sister to me :)

10. Your phone call the other day, although bearing sad news, made me realize how much you mean to me. You are not only hilarious, but incredibly caring. You put so much love into your relationships with others, always putting other people first. Your enthusiasm and passion are contagious.