500 words a day in January

500 words a day.

Sure. I can do that. I love to write. On some days, my urge to write is so strong I can hardly stand it, And start writing anywhere I can. I type notes on my phone. I fill up little post it notes with my thoughts. It's like a disease. So 500 words a day? This is what I need.

Wait. What am I going to write about? And who really needs to read one more blog post from me? I think people are starting to get really sick of me and my writing. I'm going to suck at this challenge.

Megan, shut up. Just write.
Sigh. I guess I can try.

And that, folks, is where I am with this whole challenge situation. And actually, that little dialogue is a pretty good summary of my mind on a daily basis. My life, like my writing, is all over the place. I have no idea where my life is heading, it makes me so anxious that I have these internal battles with myself over every little decision.

But instead of worrying, I just need to let it be. I need to just put one foot in front of the other, and just live, without constantly questioning if I am making the right move.

As long as I have a beating heart and an able mind, I have the ultimate power over my life. Sometimes that's scary, and causes me to shut out the world and hide. I will overwhelm myself with choices and instead choose to do nothing. That's not a way to live, and that's not how I want to live. I want to recognize the fear, acknowledge it's existence and push past it to reach my goals. I have the power to make this life worth living. I have the power to get out of bed each morning and choose to be happy. 

I have the power, or gift, rather, of writing. Writing is my passion, there is no other greater feeling than when I finish writing a blog post,  a poem, a letter or a short story. Writing fuels every fiber of my being. It is how I survive. Writing my emotions and writing about my life experiences has been the greatest, most effective therapy you could ever imagine. I talk to God through my writing. Once my pen hits the paper or my fingers stroke the keys, I hear God, we start to have this back and forth conversation. And when I want to give up, He whispers, "keep going".

So that is what I will do. I will keep going with This writing challenge. I won't post my daily 500 words,  but I will post some. I cannot promise you spectacular content.  I will just write, and see what happens. 

Just like I will "just live", and see what happens.

I hope you do the same. Whatever your passion is, pursue it. Craft it. And as far as your life? Live it. Live it well.