Friday, January 3, 2014

Understanding and Acceptance.

I learned a big lesson in 2013.... not everyone is going to understand you, and you're not going to understand everyone you meet. But that's okay.

I recently had a friend hurt me pretty badly. When I went to my friends/family for advice on how to handle the situation, they came back at me with a ton of possible reasons as to why this person acted the way they did. But their reasons did not satisfy me. Instead, I said "but if that were me, I wouldn't have done that, so why did they?".

That is the problem. The friend who hurt me is not me, and I can't expect them to handle situations the exact same way that I would.

I do things people don't always understand. People assume I'm being "bitchy" when I snap at them or when I'm cranky. The truth is that my snapping comes out when I am most anxious. My anxiety builds up so much inside of me sometimes that I just burst. I am not doing it to be hurtful, I simply cannot help it. But I can't expect people to understand that.

I just have to hope that people will accept me for who I am, and love me anyways. And that is what I have to do, as well, in the times I don't understand someone else's actions. I cannot try to analyze, I just have to accept it, and love them for who they are and for the good in them.

With that being said, though, I do also believe that there should be open communication. If someone continues to hurt you by their words or actions, but they have no idea they are doing it, I think you should speak up. You shouldn't have to suffer or push them away, and you should never let someone else make you feel inadequate or worthless. And if you feel like someone has a total misunderstanding of you, apologize, and let them know it is not your intention to try and hurt them.

I've learned that being in a relationship with someone- no matter the strength or type  of the relationship- is about embracing the person whole heartedly. It's about celebrating their strengths and beauty, and accepting their flaws. We do not have to try and change a person to fit our mold. They are who they are, and it is not up to us to decide if it is right or wrong. Part of the beauty of life is that we were each created as a unique being and that there is no one on this earth exactly like us.

I have tried a new technique when I am have a difficult time understanding someone's actions or when I feel misunderstood: I pray. I pray for guidance, wisdom, grace, and patience. I ask God for forgiveness if I have misjudged or spoken ill of someone else. This has opened  my heart and my mind immensely, and allowed me to let go of the misunderstandings and to accept things as they are.

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