I Choose You

Yesterday I blogged about some of my retreat experiences. I left out part, specifically because it is a whole different topic. Also because it's something I don't oftenspeak publicly about my relationship.

I don't insert my boyfriends name into every conversation. I don't call him "my boyfriend" to people- I call him Tom. I don't need to see him every single day (although I usually do because of our workouts, but we don't talk much at the gym) and if he doesn't text me for a few hours I don't go all crazy. Because even though he is one of the best things in my life, he's not my whole life.

But on retreat, we talked quite a bit about being chosen by God and by others. We also, ironically enough, talked about this quite a bit in our youth group meeting last night.

Your family sorta chooses you. I mean- they make the choice to take care of you. Your friends choose you based on shared interests and personality. But it's really something special when someone chooses you romantically. When someone wants to have a relationship with you.

And that's what Tom did with me. He chose me. He waited for me when I was insistent I was not ready to enter into a new relationship. He continued to build a friendship with me until he became my best friend, and eventually we realize what we had was much more.

Tom chooses me every time he does something little for me. Buys me coffee, let's Sam and I use his netflix account so we can watch Orange is the New Black. Buys me 7up when I'm sick. Promises me that my cooking is good. Sends me wake up texts and tells me to shut up when I'm hard on myself. He knows my favorite songs and what to do when I start to panic.

He chooses me in bigger ways too, like taking me to see Pink, doing yard work for my dad, and leaving work on his lunch break to see me when I had my major breakdown the week my dad was diagnosed. 

Up until this past weekend, I really didn't understand why Tom did all these things for me. Don't get me wrong: I was grateful. I just didn't get it. Now I do. He does them because he cares, he's choosing me. He chooses to do these things to show that I'm the girl he has chosen to be in a relationship.

And I'm really lucky to be that girl he chose. Tom is a great guy. Like a really, really great guy. I'm not as good as being cute and romantic as he is, but I know he knows how I feel about him. I choose him, too. The guy is my best friend. 

We don't know where this will go and we don't need to. We are both choosing to be happy in these moments.