Monday, January 18, 2010

is this what it feels like to really cry

day 16 → a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
That's most songs, ha. Lately, though...this one.

day 17 → an art piece (painting, drawing, sculpture, etc.)

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That painting makes me happy. I love the fall.

day 18 → whatever tickles your fancy

I present to 10 favorite GAGA songs. I've done this with Spill Canvas and Kelly, and will be doing more artists. Here's my GAGA list.

10)Just Dance
8)Beautiful, Dirty, Rich
7) Again, Again
6) Poker Face
5) Alejandro
4) Bad Romance
3) Paparazzi
2) Speechless
1) Brown Eyes

Now onto some more serious business. I'm in a funk. I hate being in funks. Ever since I got home from Gem's house, I've had this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm anxious, I'm irritable, I'm cranky. I want to curl up and have someone else take care of me. I felt like I was crawling out of my own skin. I wasn't the me that I've been the past few weeks, which has been a happy, positive me. Instead, I've been gloomy and negative. I'm not sure if it has to do with Laurence....when people ask me if I'm okay I nod and say yes, but, I'm not. I mean I'm going to be fine and I will find a way to deal with this, but the reality is I'm not okay right at this moment. I hate feeling like this, because it makes me feel worthless. It also makes me feel selfish. Is it wrong for me to want to just cry on someone's shoulder? Because that's all I feel like doing. I'm just confused and dealing with so many different emotions right now....and maybe I shouldn't be posting this, but I will anyways.

I'm going to be honoring Laurence's life in a few different ways. Stay tuned.

I love you all. I'm going to spend some time with God before I go to sleep. This is final exams week, which means I have 1/2 days all week. Hopefully that will give me some time to re-evaluate.

1 comment:

Lindsay said... Add Reply

that painting... is soooo coool. where did you find it/are there more of them? i wanttttt.

i love you.