Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I'm not your angel, darling

I had such a lovely day today...which completly makes up for the intense drama that went down yesterday.

-I walked into Dean's classroom on the chalkboard, in huge writing, it says "Mz. Carolin iz a mommy!". Surprise? No, I am definatley NOT a mommy. It was written by the girl who calls me "mother".
-Had a wonderful evaluation meeting with my supervisor!
-Very funny moment in my study hall involving a surprise for a co worker. Inside joke, but hilarious. I was crying I was laughing so hard.
-Quote from my friend Jon ""Megan, I suspect if you weren't here this year, this whole block would be a smoking crater, and I'd be dead at the bottom of it."
-I started telling some of the students that I will not be back next year, and although their reactions (crying, temper tantrums, etc) broke my heart, it also made me glad to know that I have made a small impact.
-New Hanson album! New single from Allison Iraheta! Woo!

So, tomorrow is my last full day at work. This doesn't have TOO much signifcance since I'll still be around the building until mid July, but it does mean...my last study hall, my last time serving lunch, and last creative writing class. Those have all been such huge aspects of my experience, and for them to suddenly stop is going to be tough! I'm especially emotional about not serving lunch, as odd as that seems....but that is the time when I see the kids just act like kids, when they ask me to sit with them or joke around with me. I am going to miss that time with them so much!

Next week is finals, but I won't see much of the kids since they'll be busy...you know, being high school students. After that begins summer school...so that will be a good transition from school year to just completly being finished with MVC...but it is going to be very different. I wrote 61 letters to 61 VERY deserving students and I am excited to pass them out tomorrow. I'm also totally prepared to cry at least once. I am going to miss these kids SO much and I hope they realize how amazing they are and that they are a part of my heart.

I'm not sure if I will have time to blog before transition retreat, so most likely, I will be talking to all of you again on Monday the 14th. Please pray for me as I head to Philly for a few days of reflection on the year.

Here are my favorite lyrics from Kate Voegele's second album, "Don't Look Away".

-Oh and just when I believe, you've changed for good, well you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would

When I've run out of second chances, you give me that look, and you're off the hook

We were worlds apart and you see, it was so much easier to be...'Cause now I know what we can't have and it's so unfair

'Cause those who get to know our hearts the most, they always seem to be the ones we'll never hold

But don't you dare go avoiding me, it kills me and yet it keeps me going

What happened to, the plans we made, and that contagious smile upon your face...It's all begun to fade

I have overcome more than words will ever say, and I’ve been given hope that there’s a light on up the hall..and a day will come when the fight is won, and I think that day has just begun

'Cause I don't mean to presume...That you don't love me like you say you do, But you're gonna have to prove that you're true...And you're not just talkin' smooth

I know you want me to see don’t lie to me ,Why you gotta go be so shy to me? I ain’t buying the false anxiety, let your fortress fall

By the way, You've put yourself in danger 'cause you're playing with my heart

But so many people are looking to me, to be strong and to fight...But I'm just surviving And I may be weak but I'm not defeated, And I'll keep believing...In clouds with that sweet silver lining

And I won't give up like this, I will be given strength...Now that I've found it
Nothing can take that away

You're meant to be among the clouds, 'Cause you're an angel....But that's a lie

I'm not your angel, darling...

I'm not your anchor, So don't hold on...I'm not the answer, You've got me wrong...I'm not your savior...Save your energy

And it seems, your song is in my head this is war

Don't let me catch you followin',Don't ask cause I'm not offering...You caused enough of my suffering...And my heart is warmer since I heard from you today

1 comment:

Shari said... Add Reply

Endings are hard, SO hard, especially when it's been such an amazing and inspirational experience. I know it's way easier said than done, but try to remember "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." I have a feeling that today - and the rest of your time with MVC - will be very special.

And whoohoo for Philly! :)