Monday, June 28, 2010

Do it Afraid.

Every year for the past five or so years, this time of year has been plagued with goodbyes....first was high school graduation, then came the end of every spring semester when my older college friends graduated and left me behind, until the day I graduated myself. This year, I have to say goodbye to my community, my students and co workers, the friends I've made here. I never expected it to be this hard to let go. Letting go is one of my biggest fears...and speaking of fears.....

Tonight, I led spirituality was my last turn. Each of us spent time reflecting and writing down our fears. Then, we passed our papers around, and wrote notes of encouragement to each other. When we were finished writing, we lit our fears on fire. Literally. Stuck a casserole dish in the floor, ripped up our papers, and lit it on represent that they can no longer hold us back, that they are now ashes. Our hearts have been opened to each other and to God- everything that worried us is now placed gently in God's hands. It was pretty powerful, and I feel better knowing I have full support from these three people who have become three of my best friends.

This week, I have to do three things that completely terrify me. I don't want to specify just yet, but please hold me in prayer this week. I will most definatley "do it afraid".

I'd like to close by thanking all the friends I've made this year. Not my students, not my co workers, not the Sister's of Mercy...the friends. I've never had friends like the ones I've made this year. My community members have been absolutely amazing- always supportive, fun loving, and understanding. Each of them have taught me life lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. They know how much they mean to me, I've told them countless times. They are my family, my core, my heart. Thank you to our friends in the Jesuit Volunteer Corps and the Cap Volunteer Corps- there is no one else I would have rather shared this year with. It was so wonderful to have friends outside of my house going through a very similar experience. I had so much fun with you guys this year and am going to miss you!

Lastly, a very special thank you to "my bestie", Dean. I honestly am not sure if I would have made it through the months of February-April without Dean. He saw me at my worst, when I was stressed out about my future and weighed down from work...but that did not stop him from being the most amazing, understanding, compassionate, giving, loving person around. Dean, you are an incredible person. You amaze me every single day with your dedication to the city of Detroit, the students and school, your faith, etc. I know that no matter where this road takes me, you will always be one of my best friends, and for that I am extremely grateful. I will miss our car rides and computer lab dance parties, but most of all I will miss our conversations. Thank you times a million. Because I knew you, I have been changed for good. I mean every word of that.

1 comment:

Shari said... Add Reply

Oh my gosh, I LOVE the whole concept of lighting your fears on fire ... both the idea that they can no longer hold you back and also that image of your worries turning into these literal sparkles of hope instead. What a poignant, inspiring moment that must have been for you. I hope you carry it with you this week as you "do it afraid." Sending good vibes your way, even though I know you're strong enough not to need them!