Sunday, June 27, 2010

embrace your flaws.

All my life, I've been classified as "shy". Sure, I've found certain groups/places where I can be outgoing and chatty, but put me in a room with strangers, I'll avoid eye contact and conversation with everything in me. Many people look down on shyness as if it's a bad thing, and yeah, it can be tough, but it's really not as evil as some make it out to be. Recently someone made a really negative comment about me and my shyness, and it really upset me. I was furious, wanted to shake this person, yell at them and tell them how much I've grown. But, because a very important person named Melinda Doolittle taught me how to "chew the hay and spit out the sticks", I didn't do that. I just ignored it. Well, sort of.

Yes, I'm shy. Yes, I'm sensitive. Yes, I worry too much. BUT, with all of that comes so many positive attributes! For example, I consider myself a strong writer...and whether or not others feel that way, it's something I love about myself. Writing my thoughts has become my craft, hobby, outlet. It's my passion, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. If I was talking all the time, I wouldn't have time to write, now would I?

Secondly, I'm totally OKAY with being alone and am very self aware. I am dependent on close friends for support, but for the most part, I am able to take care of myself and "do what I gotta do"- whether it's sleep, write, listen to music, etc.

Lastly, I'm one hell of a listener. I understand people. I've spent so much of my life watching people (not in a creepy way) and listening to them, that I very often find myself knowing what other people are about to say. My friends in college used to call it my "psychic abilities", but it's because of my shyness. I'm used to taking a step back and being the listener. I'm always the one people come to for advice, whether it's my family, friends, or students. I personally consider this a very precious gift that I am proud to have.

Embrace your flaws. If there's something about yourself you struggle with or is "looked down on", find the positive in it...or, as Melinda would say, chew the hay and spit out the sticks. Write a comment on this blog and tell me what you love about yourself!

On a (somewhat) similiar note, I wrote this a few months back when one of my students was going through a rough time. Enjoy.

Little girl just hold on tight
Remember this always; keep it close to your heart
You are never alone
I know this is hard, but push through

Don’t you dare step back into that dark place
When you’ve been busy shining bright
You’ve got this, I know it
I can’t stand to see you fade

These feelings creeping in on you
They won’t last forever, can’t keep holding you in
Push through this destruction, the other side is waiting
It’s better over there, I’ve seen it

Don’t you dare step back into that dark place
When you’ve been busy shining bright
You’ve got this, I know it
I can’t stand to see you fade

You’re too beautiful to hide, just let it out
Put your hand in mine, we’re in this together
I won’t let your fingers slip
I wouldn’t dare let you fall
Because I promise
You are never alone

I hope everyone has a beautiful week.


Shari said... Add Reply

This just might be my favorite blog of yours ever. I know there have been a lot of entries where I've said I so relate with what you're saying, but this one just speaks to me.

I have ALWAYS gotten the shy thing, too. There have been times when I really had to work to get beyond that and be outgoing, like when I was at our ABC affiliate, but I think it will always be a part of my personality and I'm okay with that. And you know, I've never thought about it the way you said - being quiet really does seem to have a tie in with being an observer, which in turn is SO important for writers. I so, so, so love the way you express it, about not being able to write as much if you spent more time talking, talking, talking ... and I second the part about you being such a strong writer. Your passion for it shows in every word you put to paper (or computer document!) :)

Thank you for this blog ... it truly made me stop and think. You are, as always, inspiring.

Jena said... Add Reply

This ties with "colors" as my favorite blog of all time from you! Self-affirmation is a beautiful thing, when it comes from a place of positive metamorphosis. When you can embrace your flaws and see the good in them, that's incredible!

Anonymous said... Add Reply

thank youuuuuuuuu....sooo much <3

Anonymous said... Add Reply

You've really cheered me up after a bad day. People at school really don't know how to relate to shy people like me, that is what makes school so hard. Your blog is very comforting - to know I am not alone.
Thank you<3