Ability, Motivation, and Support

I’ll have two posts tonight…this one, and a second one dedicated to Amanda Jones.


First let me update on how my progress with everything. I started my job on Friday as a nanny for two little girls. Sophie is 3 and Kate is 1 and ½. They are beautiful, fun-loving, bright little ones. It’s an exhausting job, especially since they have the attention span of…well…a toddler. They argue over crayons and whose milk cup is whose, but they are very sweet, intuitive, and friendly. I’m excited for the summer and to form a bond with them. Already on Friday, I learned so much. I’m considering jotting down notes on their behaviors and funny things that they say so I can remember it at the end.

Dieting is going really well, and now both my parents are on board. We cleaned out our kitchen today, throwing away everything that is considered “bad”. I’ve also been doing most of the cooking for dinners, which is great because I am learning and making sure that what we eat is good for us. Maybe I’ll post some of my recipes of anyone is interested. My concern right now is the walking- I work 8-4, so my options are kind of limited. I can either walk in the morning, which would be about 5:30 AM…not sure if I’d be able to then stand on my feet all day and play with little kids. Second option is walking while I’m at work…not sure how Sophie and Kate would handle that. There is a park that we walk to in their double stroller, but only about a mile away. The final option is after I get home…which, if I don’t get used to keeping up with them soon, I will be too exhausted to do. I think I’m going to aim for when doing it when I get home, that way I’ll hopefully be going to sleep earlier too.

I got a call that I have been advanced through the first round of the Mercy Volunteer Corps application process. Next step is the interview- which is this coming Friday at 2:30. I’m nervous already! I just really want this and think it’s so right for me.

I just finished reading Jen Lancaster’s fourth book, “Pretty in Plaid”. As usual, it had me laughing out loud and nodding my head in agreement over the observations and experiences she’s had. The last few pages, though, stuck me pretty hard:

“I have the ability to work toward other successes in my life…provided I try hard enough, there will be other shining moments…and I won’t always be alone to get the good news about them”.

This quote is one that really related to what I’ve been focusing on lately. For the past few months, I’ve been lazy and unmotivated about life in general. I find myself saying “I’ll do that later…” or “If I don’t get it finished, oh well”… I’m not sure if it’s to blame on “senioritis”, my emotional problems, immaturity, or a combination of all of these. Regardless, the time has come for me to realize I can’t just wait around and hope that I get what I want. I have to work…fight...and push myself outside of my comfort zone in order to truly chase after my dreams. I know I have the ability, just lacking that motivation. Jen’s book helped me to understand that I need to be my own motivation.

As for the part about being alone…well, that’s where you come in. I don’t know how to put this lightly so I’ll just throw it out there: I don’t have that many friends. By that, I mean friends that live near me that I can call up and say “let’s go out”. I used to, but over the years things change, people grow apart. There are so many people that I would love to reconnect with, but I feel like it’s always “yeah, we should hang out” and nothing ever happens. I love the friends that I can hang out with frequently, but I think part of my problem this summer has been that I feel very alone. Yes, I have Sam and Lauren and the backups, but it’s different having their support and love than actually having people around on a daily basis that I can hang out with. I have GOT to get over my fear of meeting new people because, aside from Alex, I really only see my family. I also need to see my bestie Christine more, and make definite plans with Meg Mal. I just get scared because they have lived here and created their own lives with friends, and I don’t want to intrude. Anyways, enough about that…what I was going to say was that I am so grateful for people in my life who I can call up or text and say “GUESS WHAT?” and they will be genuinely happy for me. So thank you, for being those people in my life.

On a very random side note, please check out this video I made for Chikezie, and if you are a YouTube user, rate it.