|Left side: July 2013. Right side: December 2013.|
My weight loss was, hands down, the greatest thing about 2013. It changed my life. When I first started, I had a few friends who worried about me. They worried I was putting too much pressure on myself, and that I should be happy with who I am, not so focused on changing myself. But the thing is, I had to change myself. My health was in danger and my mood was disturbing. My emotions were all over the place and my depression was seeping through.
I can walk up the steps without getting out of breath. I can do a whole 45 minutes on the treadmill. I can fit into clothes 2-3 sizes smaller. I can look in the mirror and like what I see. I can wake up in the mornings with energy and excitement. My entire life has changed.
I never, ever thought I could do this. I've tried it all before, without any success, or with short term success. Then I gave up. This time, I didn't give up. I kept pushing, and I will keep pushing. There is no giving up this time and no turning back. There will be obstacles, and set backs, but I am on my way, and I will keep pushing, no matter what it takes.
Throughout this weight loss journey, most people have been totally supportive. But some have been- not so supportive. I've had people roll their eyes when I order broccoli instead of fries. I've had someone tell me I post too much about my weight loss journey, I've had people totally dismiss me when I talk about the gym. It used to hurt my feelings. But in those instances, I have to remember I am not doing this for anyone else but my damn self. Their words don't mean a thing to me, the only thing that matters is how I feel.
I know I have said this before, but I still have a very long way to go. 32 lbs is great, and you already know how great I feel, but in order to be in my best health and my best shape, I have about 100 more lbs to lose. I know that's a big number. I know that sounds like a lot. I know I may not even make that 100 lbs by this time next year (but I hope I do!). But I am not going to give up.
At first I thought I didn't have the strength to do this without other people helping me. I thought I would give up unless I had people constantly encouraging me. Now, I know I can do this, whether or not someone tells me "Hey, good job". I'm not saying I don't appreciate the encouragement, because I surely do, more than I can ever express. It gives me a little push, and it certainly makes me happy. But I don't solely depend on it. I depend on my own two legs and my brain.
But friends, even though I know I can do this, don't give up on me. I still love having cheerleaders. I will still be looking to celebrate my victories with you, just as I want to celebrate your victories with you.
In the comments, either on the blog or on facebook, or via a private message, I want you to tell me a goal you're working on. Maybe it's weight loss or writing or learning an instrument. Maybe it's finding a church or learning to cook or heck, maybe it's even beating a new level in candy crush. But I am going to keep a list of your goals, and pray for you every night. I can promise you that. So share it with me. I look forward to hearing them.