I was freaking terrified for this appointment. I kept my fear quiet. Tom is really the only person who knew and that's because he witnessed a breakdown. But I barely slept this week. I cried at the drop of a hat, and I was super cranky. I was so scared that we were going to get bad news.
We didn't get bad news. We got great news. I think I had a right to be nervous, though. Because he's my dad and I love him to pieces and I don't want anything to happen to him. And also because I work in an enviornment where we see things like this every day, only what I see with our patients is usually bad news. So I'm not angry at myself for worrying. I think it's pretty normal.
I will worry again January 9th when he goes in for the lung check up and again March 19th when we do the brain again and for every appointment after this. I just will.
But for now, I can set my worrying aside and just be. Be happy that he's healthy and fighting, happy that my mom can feel some relief for while, happy that my brother and sister in law can come home for Christmas calmly, not urgently, and happy that my sister, brother in law and Ryan can create new memories with Grandpa this Christmas.
My dad posted on Facebook that he wants to meet all the prayer warriors and I know he means it and I know how he feels. There are so many strangers that have reached out to us, along with old friends who we have reunited with, and close friends and family. I just want to have a big party with everyone and celebrate this victory. Take it from me, my family has the greatest cheerleaders there ever were.
And so, my dear friends, I want you to know how much I love, adore and admire each of you. I hope that you have soemting to celebrate this Christmas as well. Cheers.