It happened. I have lost 30 whopping pounds. All through exercise 4-5 days a week and watching what I eat, making better choices. Sometimes my choices still suck. But for the most part, I have learned self control, and opt for something healthy instead of something full of calories, fat, or sodium.
I know I keep repeating this, but I have a long way to go. I will need to continue to eat healthy and work hard. I will still need to change up my routines and shock my body. I'll still need to try different machines, classes, weights. This is nowhere near over.
And sometimes the though of that makes me want to stop. Sometimes I want to say "okay. I've done enough". But I haven't, yet. I need to keep going. Now that I know I can lose 30 lbs, I know I can lose 50. It will not be easy. There will be moments of defeat, moments of fear, moments of frustration. But as long as I know that, I can keep pushing through.
No one prepared me for how hard winter is on my weight loss journey. Besides the fact that there are cookies and breads every where I turn, it's also dark and cold, and no one wants to jump out of bed when it's 6 degrees outside and pitch black. I will be so happy when we return to warm weather and lighter meals.
I am down two pants sizes. Almost three, actually. I am wearing a size that I have not worn in years. it feels so good to slide these pants on. It is almost hilarious to wear my big pants, considering they fall off of me.
All my life I've been the "big girl" amongst my group of friends. Which is kinda unfair considering I really wasn't overweight until the end of high school- but I have always been tall with super broad shoulders, big feet and hands. I've never been the same size as my friends. Always bigger. In everything- clothes, shoes, even softball helmets. And that size just continued to go up. It's so exciting for me to start to see it go back down. Maybe I will finally be able to shop with my friends and not have to be embarrassed about the size I wear. There are maybe two people in this world I try clothes on in front of in stores, and even that is rare. I usually just hang my head down low and buy the item without trying it in, praying that it will fit. But now, maybe I will actually feel comfortable trying clothes on and getting my friends opinion. I've never been able to do that before.
Between now and Christmas (exactly one week away), I have a lot going on. Ugly sweater party, gift exchange and dinner with my roommates, gift exchange and dinner with Tom, Christmas eve with Tom's family, Christmas Day with my family. It's about to get real Christmas-y up in here. I am doing my very, very best at controlling my cravings for cookies and hot chocolate and candy. I drink water and tea like crazy and snack on veggies during the day. But if I see one more sugar cookie I may chuck it out the window.
For now, I am celebrating my two milestones. Celebrate yours.
Sidenote: I wrote this blog a few days ago. My dad has a big appointment with the neurologist today to see if the cancer has grown back in the brain. Please keep us in your prayers today!