Dear Ryan

Dear Ryan,

I'm sorry that I am a few days late on your letter this month. But guess what? I have gotten to see you a lot this month, and even spent last night with you while your mom and dad went out with their friends. 

Let's see. After Florida we all were in such a state of bliss and happiness that it was tough to get back to work and school. I bet your little brain had a tough time getting adjusted to day care again, and I am sure you missed the beach! I sure missed getting to see you every single day. 

In May, we celebrated Mother's Day with a brunch. We also started playing softball. So far you have come to two games. Last year, you just sat in someone's arms while we played. This year, you run around like a wild man and play with your friend Will. You also cheer for mom and dad while they play. Sometimes you have to make sure your mom and dad are still paying attention to you, so you run over to one of them and hug their legs. Don't worry, Ryan, no one could ever forget you. We're always watching out for you and protecting you! 

We had a picnic at Papa and Granmda Carolin's house for Memorial Day. You and I spent some time in the basement playing with your play kitchen. You are so smart. You even know how to wash dishes. You constantly amaze me with the knowledge and wisdom that you pick up from watching other people. At our dinner, you kept trying to play with Seamus like you do with Clancy. Seamus has older bones, though, and it hurts him a little more. You will understand that soon. 

Last night I had the best time playing with you! I was so scared that you were going to cry when your mom and dad left. But you didn't! We ate dinner together: macaroni and cheese for you and a turkey sandwich for me. You also polished off two cups of fruit! After dinner we went for a walk. You kept pointing at cars and asking me "what's that?". You are such a curious little boy! When we got home from our walk you spent the rest of your time playing with Clancy, chatting with Grandma and Grandpa on the phone, and watching "ball" on tv. Then we headed upstairs for night night, where you picked out a book to read (one that Tom had given you!), plopped on my lap, and gave me a hug and kiss. 

You are still calling me baba. I love when you do that, and I hope it sticks. Sometimes you call me papa on accident. You also call grandma papa. We are trying to get you to call her mimi, but so far, no luck. I know one of these days something will stick!

I also wanted to tell you that your cousin Brendan graduated from 8th grade! He also won an award at school for being a kind, compassionate, leader. We are all so proud of him. He is a wonderful role model for you. He plays "ball" AND he's a good person! 

Ryan, someone mentioned to me this week that I am lucky to have such a close family. It's true! We are lucky! All of us love each other and enjoy each other. I hope that you always feel the love, because there is a lot to go around. And we all just adore you. 

I love you, Ryan. Thank you for always putting a smile on my face, and thank you for the love you give to us.

Dear Ryan: 1 year, 2 Months

Dear Ryan,
GUESS WHAT? You're WALKING now! Can you believe it? This is so exciting! You're getting to be such a big boy. You can say things like "that" and "dada" AND you can walk!

We just celebrated Christmas and the best part was being able to see you open your presents. You were timid at first, but once you realized that there were toys and presents under the wrapping paper, you loved opening your gifts! Grandma Carolin got you some really cool stuff, like a red car that you can sit in and a big tub of giant Lego's.

You made Christmas fun and magical for me again, just seeing the look on your face as you discovered your new toys, and as you ate all the yummy food. Your belly kept getting rounder and rounder throughout the day, with all the treats we kept giving you.

You and I have a new thing that we do. We make this adorable scrunchy face at each other. I know that you're still little and learning who I am, and that sometimes you may even forget who I am, but I hope that we keep doing the scrunchy face. It's one of my new favorite things.

When we were playing games on Christmas you kept walking around, throwing blank pieces of paper in the bowl, grabbing onto one of us when you wanted to stand up. at one point you were just leaning against me, so you could play with your lego's but wouldn't fall down. I loved it. I always want to be there for you to lean on.

Ryan, you just have no idea how much we all love you. When I am having a bad day or feeling sad I just think of you, or look at a picture of you, and I feel so much better. You are the most important person in my life. And even though I don't see you every week, that feeling never goes away. I promise to not be a distant aunt. I promise you will see more of me, and see me more than on just holiday's.

2013 is about to be over, and we will start a new year full of adventures. I can't wait to see what happens next. Love you, Ryan!

13 months

Dear Ryan, 

November seemed to take forever to fly by! I kept thinking to myself... Isn't it time to write Ryan a letter? But I had to wait until today. You just turned 1 a month ago but it feels like a very long time ago that we watched you stick your hands in your cake! 

So let's see. Now you're OVER a year old. You are babbling and giggling to standing up on your own. You're not quite Walking yet, and when you try you kind of look like Forrest Gump. (When you are 13 I will have you watch that movie with me. It's amazing. I will be 38 by then! Holy smokes!) you are growing and doing new things every time I see you.

We just celebrated thanksgiving. It was your first thanksgiving with the big family celebration. Everyone adored you and said you look like your mama. You ate lots of sweet potatoes and made a mess on the tablecloth. Your mom told everyone you were thankful for your puppy And milk, which is pretty accurate but I would add your parents, grandparents, and aunts and uncles to that list too! After dinner everyone went outside to play football and you were all dressed in warm clotheS, so much that you couldn't move!

Last month, right after your birthday, we took family photos. A really nice lady named Anne took them and they turned out beautifully. I am sure you will see them through the years. And I'm sure there will be more photos to come! The day we took those pictures was one of my favorite days of the year so far.

It is the Christmas season and I have just finished buying all my gifts. I got a few things for you, little guy. But more importantly I want to tell you about a family that I am helping this year. They haven't had very good luck and they need some extra help to make their Christmas special. They won't be able to have a nice Cheistmas meal or give eac other presents. My coworkers and I are all coming together to help. We want them to have a good Chrismtas, too. Ryan, sweetheart, this is the true meaning of Christmas, to give to others. Especially the people who need a lot of help. When you get a little older I want to take you with me to serve meals to people who can't buy food or who don't have a home. You will see how good it feels to help someone else. 

I love you so much Ryan! See you soon.

Love,

Aunt Megan

Dear Ryan....One Years Old.

Dearest Ryan,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You are officially a year old, my favorite little guy! October 30th is now my very favorite day of the entire year, because it is the day you came into my life and I was forever changed.

I know this sounds really cheesy, but I didn't know how much I could love someone until I held you for the first time. I love my family, and my friends, but no one compares to you, and nothing compared to seeing you for the first time. And you know what? I get that feeling right back again every single time I see you. It has not disappeared, and I know it never will.

I had a wonderful moment with you a few weeks ago. I was babysitting you, and it was time for bed. You were trying to resist. You didn't even want your milk and you barely let me put your train pj's on. But I held you close in the rocking chair and began to sing to you. It was a song I made up to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". I can't even remember the words now...but as I sang you calmed down, you stopped crying and just snuggled up. Eventually, your eyes closed and you let me put you in your crib. It was so sweet. I was overjoyed that music can calm you, because that's exactly what it does for me. We have that in common.

We celebrated your first birthday this past weekend. Your house was full of people that love you and wanted to celebrate you. You got so many toys, and even your personal little cake. I got you a piano, and your face showed me how much you liked it. I hope you keep it for a while and maybe you'll even learn to play someday. You can be our little musician.

Ryan, I'd love to leave you with some words of wisdom for your first birthday, but it's actually you that have taught me many lessons. Like, enjoy the little things. Smile at strangers. Play in the leaves. Love with all you can. Those are all things that you do, and things I am trying to do, too.

You are the most important person in our lives. You have opened our hearts to a new kind of love. You are our little king.

Happy Birthday, Ryan.

Love, Aunt Megan

Sidenote: I have been writing these letters on the 30th of each month since Ryan was born. People have asked me if I will continue them after his first birthday. I always say I'm not sure. I am going to continue. I saw in my sister's eyes how much the letters mean to her. One day Ryan will read this and who knows if he will roll his eyes or if he will love them, but I am going to take the chance that he will appreciate them. And if nothing else, they are for my sister. So yes, I will continue these letters. Even if I close this blog down someday, I will continue to write to him as long as I can on the 30th of each month. And each year, I will put them all together and give them the years worth of letters on his birthday.

11 Months

Dearest Ryan Michael,

Oh Baby Boop. I am taking a giant sigh as I write this letter to you this month. It hasn't exactly been the best, but things will get better.

Your Grandpa Carolin has some boo boo's in his body right now that need to be healed. He has four boo boo's inside his brain and one on his lung. He needs his lungs to breathe better and he needs his brain to keep dishing out his words of wisdom and his jokes. So the doctors are working really, really hard to fix the boo boo's.

Your Grandpa is very strong. He's going to be okay, and will be able to play with you again soon. He's in a hospital right now because that is where the doctors are working hard to make him feel better. We put a picture of you by his bed so that he can still look at your cute face, and you did visit him once and crawled all over him.

At times like these, I like to talk to God. I talk to Him all the time, but even more so when someone needs our help. It's easy to do that. You don't need to be in a Church or kneeling down. Just start talking. And you're very close to God, Ryan. You were just with Him 11 months ago. So I hug you close hoping to get a little closer to Him, too.

What Grandpa is going through is a little scary, but when we all see you, we laugh and feel better. You are pushing us to keep on going.

Keep smiling, Ryan. Grandpa's boo boo's will get better soon. Give him a kiss.

Love you more than you'll ever know. Soon you will be one year old and we are going to celebrate you with all of our family. It's going to be a beautiful celebration of our favorite little baby boop.

Love, Megan

10 Months

Sweet Baby Boy,
You are 10 months old now. You're getting so big, so mature. Looking like a little lad now. You're not only crawling but trying to stand. Sometimes you use Clancy as a balance beam. You and that puppy are the best of friends.

This month, you went to visit your Uncle Jon and Aunt Sara in Indianapolis. They were so excited to see you, to hold you and to watch how much you have grown. I'm sure there will be many more visits like that to come. In fact your mommy told me there would be- Uncle Jon and Aunt Sara are wonderful people full of life and love, and Indianapolis is a cool city.

You also hung out at some of our softball games again. The season is over now so I won't get to see you on Thursday nights. I'll go back to my regular routine of visiting you on Saturday's after I exercise. I like watching you play with your toys. Since you're crawling now I think you have more fun with them, too. You like to pick one up, throw it down, crawl around and pick another one up.

I can hardly wait for you to speak. You're pretty quiet right now, although you do babble and giggle a lot. I'm just waiting for the day we can talk more.

Summer is coming to a close and your mommy has to go back to work. I know you will miss spending your entire day with her, but you get to do something really neat: go to daycare. And the best part is it's right in Grandma and Grandpa Carolin's neighborhood. Grandpa Carolin works at home now so if you get sick or need someone, he can come get you. So cool! And you get to meet other little ones and play all day and learn really cool things. My baby boy is gonna be so smart! And you still get to spend some of the week with Grandma Gumbel, which I know you love. How could you not? She's so sweet. Your grandparents adore you Ryan, all four of them. They absolutely love and cherish you. It's a beautiful thing to see their faces light up every time they see you.

Happy 10 months, my little king! I love you so much.

7 months.

Dearest Ryan,
Happy 7 months to you, Little King. Right now I bet you are on a walk with Grandma Gumbel, soaking up this sunshine. It's finally warm outside, the kind of warm that looks like it's going to stay.

In May we celebrated Mother's Day. We all gathered at your house for brunch. You were loving all the attention. I've noticed that sly little smile of yours starting to come out more.

You can sit up all by yourself now! You look like a little old man, just sitting up looking around and playing with your toys. You can also shake your head "no". Except I'm not sure you know that's what it means. But it's still cute, new, and exciting.

I love when you come to our softball games. I usually get to hold you when our team is up to bat, as we run through the batting order. You behave so well. You sit in my arms with your little hat on, looking around at everyone with wonder.

I spent some time with you over the weekend. Mommy tried to feed you green beans for the first time. You didn't like them very much. With every bite, you got more and more disgusted. Listen kiddo, I know they don't taste that great, but you have to get your green vegetables in that belly. They are healthy for you. You can't live off sweet potatoes forever, kid.

It's so fun to see all the new things you can do. Any day now you'll be crawling. And then talking! You're starting to babble, and I can't wait till you speak that first word. Pretty soon we'll be having in depth conversations.

I think a lot about your future, and what you'll be doing at this time next year, or even five years from now. It's all so exciting.

Love you, Ryzinga.

6 months.

Dear Ryan,
I'm exhausted. As I type this I am fighting my eyes from closing and looking at my achey, swollen fingers. Today was a long day at work full of meetings and discussions and battles. All I really want to do is curl up in a ball and fall asleep.

But I can't. Because I have so much to do. Laundry, bills, cleaning, getting ready for a big event at work tomorrow. It's times like these I am extremely jealous of you, my little sweet pea. I'd give anything to have your innocence back and to spend my days sleeping, eating, and playing.

I know you won't remember what life was like at 6 months old. But I can tell you- you've got it good, kid. You have family and friends that adore you and want to spend time with you, who love watching your milestones unfold and hearing stories of the new things you've learned. All eyes are on you, and we love you so much.

Lately there's been a lot of really icky things happening in the news. You may hear about it one day. And if you do I hope you remember that despite all of that, there's still good in the world. You still have the ability to choose good, to choose love. Remember to always help people when they are hurting. When disaster strikes, no matter the size of such disaster, you can always help.

I spent some time with you this past Saturday. I had really missed you and wanted to see your little face. I took you for a walk with Grandpa and Clancy. It was really special. You behaved so well, you didn't make a peep the whole time. And you stared at me as we walked and I chatted with Grandpa, like you were listening to every word. I know it sounds crazy but I really feel like you and I understand each other. I know. How can a 6 month old understand me? But I think you do. I can't wait for you to get a little bigger, to start walking and talking, so we can have some wonderful conversations.

This month has felt very long. A lot of things happened in my personal life and at my work, and it seems like everything is all pushing together. But here we are, April 30th, and you are 6 months old.

I cannot ever express how much I love you, but I can tell you that I did not know this kind of love existed until you were born. And I know it's only going to grow from here. Happy 6 month birthday, Ryzinga.

5 Months

My Dearest Ryan;
Happy 5 months, love. This is also your "Lent letter". For the past four years or so, I write letters to people in my life to remind them how much I love them. Don't worry, one day you'll understand what that all means. For now, you just need to know that I love you.

March was one hectic month for your aunt meggers- to say the least. I felt a hurt and an anger I had never known before. But with the help of my family and friends, I made it through. I hope that we always give you that kind of support, and that you know you can come to us whenever your heart hurts. We care about you and we want to protect you and help jump over all your hurdles in life.

I came over to see you one day in the midst of my little "bump". You made me laugh and feel so much better. You were playing with a little toy that makes music, and you seemed so intrigued by it. I hope music always makes you feel like that, because music truly is the universal language  And it's also very powerful- no matter how you are feeling, there's always a song to match it. Anyways, when I was visiting you I just kept staring at you in awe. I gave you a little talk about how to treat girls. Which, by the way, is pretty simple: don't lie to them.

At one point in my visit, you just looked up and stared at me. I swear I heard a little voice say "you're going to be okay". I know it sounds crazy, but I heard it, and I know it was you talking to me, sending me a little message of comfort. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment.

You also learned how to laugh out loud this month. I heard it for the first time when we had a family movie night watching Les Miserables. Your mommy was being silly and singing to you, and you were kicking your feet up in the air. You giggled, so happy to be there with us and in the arms of your mommy. It was adorable.

Easter is tomorrow and I get to see you and your mommy and daddy. I'm very excited. Easter is one of my favorite holidays, because it's so important for our faith. You'll learn all about that later in life. For now just know that Jesus loves you so much. And Easter is just one example of how much He loves you.

So even though this was a rough month for Aunt Megan, I want you to know that you helped me through. I have a feeling you always will, and I am always here for you. We're on the same team.

I love you, Ryan!

4 months.

Dear Ryan;
4 Months? 4 stinking months? You are growing so fast. You look different every single time I see you.

February was exciting. Your beautiful mommy had her 31st birthday. Your silly uncle Jon and Aunt Sara came into town for a big event- your Baptism. But before we go there, I must tell you that we all had a lot of laughs that weekend, mostly because of you. Some of us had dinner out together on Saturday night. Your mom and dad, Uncle Jon and Aunt Sara, friends John and Kristen, and me. At the end of dinner your mom went to change your diaper. While she was gone, a band came to sing her happy birthday. We had to tell them to come back, that she wasn't at the table. A few minutes later we heard the band again- this time with your mommy in front of them, carrying you. She looked a little scared. As the band was singing and cheering, your mom yelled "I HAVE POOP ON MY HANDS!". You see, Ryan, you made quite a mess, and your mom needed help in the bathroom. We were all laughing- what timing you had! Your mom and I went back to the bathroom to finish changing you and to clean you up. We giggled through most of it, and you giggled right back. I will never forget it.

Now, your Baptism... What a beautiful day that was. You didn't even cry as you were placed in the Holy Water. I was so proud of you for that. I know you don't understand the meaning of Baptism now, nor will you understand it for many years to come, but it is a very special ceremony to celebrate your faith. As your aunt, I proudly watched and made a promise to myself and to God that I would teach you about Jesus, and help you discover God and God's promises to you.

I learned something new at your Baptism, and that is that there is a Saint Megan.  I never knew that. I did some research on the gal and it appears she is the patron saint of abused people.Which actually fits, because that's something that I try to do- speak up for those who can't. I hope that's something you learn, too- to be a friend to all, and to help others through their hard times to know that life can get better.

One time this month I popped over to your house for your visit. I was shocked to see you were sitting up in a little bubble chair, all by yourself. Clancy came over and licked your face, and you just stared right back at him. That was when I realized how quickly you are growing. I can see you turning into a little person.

I also had the privilege of sitting next to you in Church one time this month. We sat in the back because your mommy knew you were sleepy and she was afraid you were going to cry. You barely made any sounds- so well behaved. At one point during Church, I felt a tug on my shirt. I thought it was your mommy, but it was you. You grabbed my hand and put it directly in your mouth. It was kind of gross, but also adorable. I applauded your great behavior.

I love you, Ryan. This was a great month, full of family and laughter and faith. I feel so lucky to be a part of your life and when things settle down at work I will be able to see you more- and be more amazed by your growth. You make us all so happy.

3 Months.

Dear Ryan,
You are THREE stinking months old! Growing up so fast, my little guy!

January 2013 has been a little strange for your Aunt Megan. There's a lot going on in my life. I was very sick for about three weeks- it made me tired, worn out, and even just a little sad. It took a while to feel 100% healthy. Thankfully, I feel good now. The worst part was that I barely got to see you this month. I didn't want to pass my germs into your little hands, so I stayed away. And I really missed you. I'll make up for it in February, I promise. When I did see you, my little Ryan, it made me feel so much better.

You're growing up. You're getting bigger, you're smiling more, making more noises, kicking your feet. It's a beautiful sight to watch you. I can hardly wait until you start to talk. I'd love to know what goes through your mind.

Once again I will remind you- we all love you so much. Your mommy went back to work for the first time since you were born yesterday, and I know it must have been hard for her to leave you. She loves spending her days with you. But you are in good hands, and we all pitch in to help...and spoil you a little bit.

I had a hard time coming up with "advice" for this letter, but then I came across some words written by my good friend Jena. And I wanted to share those words with you.


I've always been a person who wants to help others. But sometimes, in my life as a blind person, I'd see the problems around me, want to fix things for others, and think, "Oh but I can't drive this person here, sort these cans of food for the homeless, move around in an unfamiliar environment," etc., just fill in the blank. Often, I would feel like the best way for me to "help" would be to stay out of the way. I imagined that I had nothing to contribute to the betterment of this world. I was 100% totally and completely focused on the WRONG THINGS! This powerful message, again from Joyce Meyer, just gave me some perspective. "Don't let what you DON'T have stop you from giving what you DO have. Don't let what you CANNOT DO stop you from doing what you CAN do. Be a blessing." Over the last six weeks or so, my prayers have changed, and one of the things I say when I wake up is, "God, help me to be a blessing to people today, however You want to make that happen." I have seen remarkable things happen, just through the power of my words and my writing, even here on Facebook. So I share this, because I want you to remember that God made you unique, He made you exactly how He wants you to be. Even if you look at people who have more resources, more talents, more everything, know that you are a vital part of this world, and there are things here that only YOU can do, with the blend of talents, strengths, weaknesses, and quirks that only YOU possess. You CAN do something, even if it isn't the "big thing" that you wish you could accomplish. Everyone can give a smile, or a kind word. Everyone can go out of their way to be courteous. And that one small act of kindness may be the thing that changes someone else's life. So give whatever you have to give, and be blessed!

I think Jena's words about sum it up, Ryan. She said it perfectly. Focus on the positive. Be kind to others. Those are the important things in life.

Sunday is your Baptism. I know you may not realize the value of this day until you are much older, but it is so special for our family to gather and celebrate you. Your baptism proclaims that you are loved by God, and that you belong to God, as a child and son. How cool is that? What's even cooler is that you are UNIQUE. You were given gifts and abilities that will allow you to make a difference in this world. I can't wait to watch as you discover these gifts, and use them.

I love you, Ryan!

Two Months.

Dear Ryan;

You are two months old today! It actually feels much longer. I feel like you've always been here. I want you to know how much your mommy and daddy love you. I'm sure that will be a frequent topic of these letters, but I think it's important for you to know that the love was present from the second you arrived...and I can see it growing stronger and stronger every single day. It's the way your daddy refers to you as "my baby" or how your mommy says "I'll be right back, bye bye Ryan" and kisses you, even when she's just going up the stairs. They protect you and they look at you with sparkling eyes and wide smiles. They are so proud of you.

You've grown a lot in the last month. You're a whopping ten pounds, you are sleeping more during the night, and you have turned yourself over from your tummy. We all love watching you grow. You started smiling more, too, and that smile is beautiful.

You had your very first Christmas, and you got so many presents, our way of saying that we love you and can't wait to watch you grow. I got you the book Peter Pan. That is my very favorite children's story, Ryan, and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. I can't tell you to never grow up because I know that you will- but I hope that your life is your very own version of Neverland. Magical and full of surprises and adventure.

We are all waiting for your hair to turn a certain color- right now it is light, but with dark hair in the back. We're still oohing and aaahing over every little thing that you do and we are all very much in love with you.

Tomorrow is the last day of 2012. What a year it has been. The greatest gift of all was you, our little Ryan.

Love, Aunt Megan

one month.

Dear Ryan,

Hooray Hooray! You are a month old! Even better news, you are healthy and strong. I am so happy to have you in my life. When I am holding you and your hands reach out, it’s like you are trying to figure out who is holding you, trying to memorize faces with your hands. When you do that, I give those little hands a little kiss. It’s my message back to you, to say, I’m here. Always.

We celebrated thanksgiving this month. Your mommy and daddy came over to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, I was there too. It was a simple thanksgiving, different than what we are used to. We broke tradition a little bit. We wanted to be with our little turkey. We had fun, the five of us, as we always do. We were all thankful for the same thing: you. You have brought so much joy into our lives, Ryan. We are all head over heels in love with you. We love you unconditionally. We’re learning how to take care of you and you are growing so fast already.

I had a really bad day today, Ryan, on your one month. It was one of those days where nearly everything went wrong. I cried, hard, in front of people at my job, which I never do. I always hold it together in front of them. But today I couldn't. And you know what? They cared. They hugged me, told me it was going to be okay, and asked how they could help. I knew I worked with cool people, but I didn't realize what good friends they could be, too. And you know what else? What gave me peace? Seeing a picture of you. Your daddy sent me a picture of you in a onesie that I had bought you, it has a dinosaur on it and says My Aunt loves Me. It was so cute and you looked adorable. And it reminded me that what I am going through right now won’t matter in 1, 5, 10 years. That it is temporary. That I can do this. I have faith. I have faith because of you, Ryan. You are the reason I know that I can keep going. You are our little gift from God. So thank you, sweet pea.

I just want to be sure you know how much we love you. I will tell you that over and over, so get used to it. Because love means home and you should know you always have a home.

Happy One Month, Little Guy. Little Ry Fry. Love you.

Happy Birthday, Little King

"All I know is a simple name, and everything has changed......."

Those lyrics are taken from the new Taylor Swift/Ed Sheeran duet "Everything Has Changed". And while the song is meant to be a sweet love song, a song about finding someone new who changes everything, it works for today.

Because today, all I know is that a little 6lb, 1.3 oz boy named Ryan came into my life, and everything has changed. When I walked into my sister's hospital room and saw his face, I was so overwhelmed with love that I felt like I could melt right there. I've seen a lot of babies before, but no one has stolen my heart like this Little King. He's perfect in every single way. His arms are long, so he'll grow to be strong. His eyes are the perfect shade of blue, and when he opens them you can see that they are full of wonder and curiosity. His skin is this adorably perfect shade of pink. His hands reach out for the sky. His hair is sandy brown. He is gorgeous  And he's my nephew. I haven't stopped smiling since I first laid eyes on him.

So Happy Birthday, Ryan, you sweet boy. We are all so excited to have you here. I was ironing my pants for work when my phone rang. I threw the iron down, ran to get my phone, and saw it was your mommy. "You have a nephew" she said. "Ryan Michael". My stomach did a billion flips, I said a prayer of gratitude that you and mommy were healthy, and then I called into work. I had more important things to do- like meet you! Your Grandma and I went shopping, and then headed to the hospital. Oh Ryan, you are so perfect! There are so many people for you to meet, so many memories to be made. There are so many things I want to talk to you about. There are so many things I am dying to learn about you. But mostly, I'm just really glad you're here. October 30th. What a perfect day for you to choose to come into our lives. The air is cold and windy, and there are so many world disasters and traumas happening around us. But we have you now, our joyful little guy, to remind us of the important things in life. So, thank you for coming. I love you Ryan! Happy Birthday!

And to my sweet sister and brother in law, congratulations. I am so proud, so happy for you both. I know this has been a long road, but he is here now, and he is perfect. And you will be amazing parents. Get some rest, and know we are all surrounding you with love and peace.

World, meet Ryan.