Thankful.

I am thankful for my past and all it's experiences, however painful they may have been, for shaping me into who I am today. I am thankful for every person who taught me a lesson that I carried through the years, for my family for gifting me my core values, my parents who provided encouragement throughout my life. I am thankful for every place I've visited, for every friend I have made, for every broken heart I suffered. I am thankful for God's timing, and that He carefully placed people in my life when I needed them the most. I am thankful for every job I have had. I am thankful for every  mistake I have made. I am thankful for every accomplishment thus far, no matter how big or small. From learning to ride a bike to losing 140 lbs. From being a Kairos leader to becoming a Mercy Associate. From loving to read to learning how to write from the heart. I am thankful for every second of every day that has led me to right here, right now. I am here.

I am thankful for the present, and all that is surrounding me. I am thankful I have a warm place to live, a family that I adore, a fiance who is my very best friend and my other half. I am thankful to have a job that I love, with co workers whom I can call friends. I am thankful for friends who are still here, and for all the fun that we have. I am thankful for modern medicine for keeping my dad alive. I am thankful for the music that comforts me, the books where I can escape, and all the silly things that bring me simple joy like foxes and hot tea and sunshine and podcasts and yoga. I am thankful for my mom and all that she does to keep the pieces together. I am thankful for each moment that I am still breathing, still alive. I am thankful that God embraces me, forgives me, and comforts me. I am thankful that when I am down, I don't stay down. I am thankful for the people that bring me back up. I'm thankful that I am here, with all of you, experiencing this life.  I am here.

I am thankful for tomorrow. That I have a chance at tomorrow. That there is so much left to experience. I am thankful for the memories that are yet to be made, the people I have yet to meet, the books I haven't read and the songs I haven't heard. I am thankful for the learning that is still to come. I am thankful that although I do not know it yet, God has a plan for me. I am thankful that who I was yesterday, and who I am today, will help who I am tomorrow. By the grace of God, I will be here.

I am thankful for me. I can be incredibly hard on myself, sometimes questioning if I am deserving of the love that I am getting. But I am worthy, I am strong, and I am thankful that I have never given up on myself. I am thankful that I have kept going. Because I am here.

And you, you are here too. And you deserve to be here. If no one else has told you this lately, I will tell you: I am thankful for you.

Together we fall and together we rise

It's been said that this was the most stressful election ever. I've read stories and articles of how the election has broken up friendships and caused rifts in families. And, it's clearly causing a divide across our country.

Thanksgiving is just a few days away. Soon, most of us will be gathering in homes with our family and friends, eating delicious food, drinking, and watching football. It is a day for us to truly take a step back and remember what we are grateful for. Right now, a lot of people in our country aren't feeling very grateful. I get that. So many people I know are feeling uneasy, scared. Most people I know, no matter what side they fall on, are fueled up, ready to fight back against anyone who disagrees with them. And I get it- we should be having dialogue. I'm not discouraging dialogue.

What I am discouraging is for hatred to leak through your words. When you come face to face with someone who clearly disagrees with you, instead of instantly engaging in heated arguments or spitting out words that are hurtful or hateful towards anyone, just take a minute. Take a minute to put yourself in that person's shoes. Think about why they may believe what they are saying. Agree to disagree. Let it go.

There are some behaviors, I realize, that aren't worthy of your time. If someone is abusive towards you, or other humans in general, and you simply can't have a discussion with them, then don't. In those cases, I say it's okay to stay away (if possible).

I'm directing this at the people who may only see their extended families once or twice a year. This Thursday may be that only time. You may know ahead of time you don't agree politically. That's fine. You don't have to. Shake of the hostility, engage in healthy conversation, and show that individual the same love and respect you want shown your way.

I know what some of you may be thinking. That the world doesn't work like this, that we can't all just smile and ignore what is happening, that we need to TAKE A STAND. And trust me, I am all for taking a stand against racism, homophobia, Islamophobia, etc. I think there could be opportunities for teaching moments, if they are done without violence attached to them.

But I also think one of the best things that we can do is to show our love out loud, obnoxiously. And that includes showing our love to the people who don't agree with us, as hard as that may be.

It is my hope, that this Thanksgiving, as you fill your bellies and celebrate amongst loved ones, that you can truly enjoy the holiday,  honor your gratitude, and speak your love. I can't say it will be easy, but I certainly hope it will be worth it.

PS: If you're like me, you'll find comfort in music. Maybe this song will help. It's called Same Side, by Jill and Kate, and it's available on Itunes tomorrow. Perfect timing.

Thankful A-Z

My friend Shari wrote a beautiful blog this morning using each letter of the alphabet to tell what she is thankful for. Her words flowed and I loved what she wrote so much that I want it printed out on poster size to hang in my office.

You can read Shari's beautiful post here: http://workofheart09.wordpress.com/2014/11/26/26-reasons-to-be-thankful/

Naturally, her post inspired me to write my own ABC's of Thanksgiving. So here goes. 

The American Cancer Society for all that they stand for, all that they do and all that they encompass. Each day I feel blessed to work for the greatest nonprofit in the country and to be a part of something so big. Books, for allowing me a few minutes to escape into other worlds. Cameras for capturing life's precious moments. Dad. Each and every single one of the people who prayed for my family during our most challenging time. Fort Walton Beach- the smells, the tastes, the sounds.  Grace, God's greatest gift to us. Hips Resale Boutique, my favorite store, and it's employees who know me by name. Ideas that strike you out of nowhere and give you so much energy you just might burst. Jokes that make us laugh until our sides hurt. Kickboxing, my latest and greatest obsession, for teaching me strength, patience, and balance. Love, it always finds it's way back to us, even in the most unusual circumstances. Music and finding the perfect song for each situation. New friends and old friends. Places that feel like home. Quilts to snuggle under when it's cold outside. Ryan. Sunshine,  making each day just a little brighter. Teachers who are molding and challenging our youth. Useful advice from friends. Vacations with friends and family. Working out, the fact that I have the ability to do so. Xmen, Ninja Turtles, and all things 90's. You. Zero complaints.

Happy Thanksgiving, friends. Cheers.

Thankful

One of our Thanksgiving traditions is for everyone to write what they are thankful for on a paper leaf. As we eat, the younger cousins (who are now not so young), read them aloud. The rest of the guests try and figure out who wrote what. It's usually pretty obvious, like the year I wrote Nicki Minaj or the year one of the little kids wrote "cheese" and we all burst out laughing.

This year, my leaf will read something like:

My dad is alive.

Back in September, when we went through that terrible trauma of not knowing what was going on with him, we also didn't know what it meant. We were confident that whatever was happening was not going to kill him, but we also were so unsure about it all. Naturally, that leads to fear, to "what if?". So the fact that he is alive, home, walking and talking is the greatest gift we could have been blessed with.

And then there's everything that goes along with that: thankful for the doctors who cared for him, for the nurses who held our hands through the process and who wiped our tears, to the medicine that helped pull him out of the steroid psychosis, to the friendly aides who took such amazing care of him. To each person who visited even though it was terribly painful to see him in that condition, to the people who delivered meals or sent gift cards so that we could eat, to anyone who babysat Ryan or did laundry or ran errands,  for our employers who were so compassionate and understanding, for the phone calls/cards/emails, for the prayers, and for God, who held us tightly during that time and embraced us with His Grace.

Most of all, I am thankful to be blessed with this crazy group of people I call my family. We would not have made it through that hell without one another. We came out of it stronger than ever before, a united force. No one should dare mess with us, not even cancer.

I learned so much from September 5th- now. Mostly, that family, laughter, sharing and friends are among the most important, cherished things in life. Everything in between is just "stuff". We put "stuff" first a lot, when it should be the other way around. Being with the ones you love, making memories, and giving back to others is a beautiful way to live your life.

Dad, thank you for pulling through. You are the strongest man I know, and I am so proud of you.
Mom, thank you for being the world's greastest caregiver. I know it's exhausting, but you are doing a phenomenal job.  Your patience and compassion shine.

Lord, thank you for blessing me with this family, these friends, and this life.

Thanksgiving 2013

Howdy, kids. Are your tummies full of delicious food and your hearts full of love? I certainly hope so. That is my Thanksgiving wish for each of you.

I have a lot, and I mean a lot, to be thankful for this year. 

First and foremost I am thankful to the medical team at Beaumont. They successfully removed the tumors from my daddy's brain and continue to research and fight the lung tumor. Every single doctor,  nurse, and staff member we've come in contact with have been gracious and kind and totally dedicated to helping my dad beat this thing. 

I am also thankful for my family. I fully believe that I have the greatest family in the world, and I dare you to try to tell me otherwise. I do not know how I got so lucky but the bond we all have is one that will never be broken. They are incredible people and each do fantastic things in their own lives, and touch mine in a way I can't ever properly express.

I am thankful for my friends and coworkers who help distract me from life's craziness by making me laugh, going on dinner dates and letting me vent. I am thankful for Melinda's backups, who , six years later, continue to support and love me, encourage me and pray for me. 

I am thankful for the incredible St Hugo community who have totally overwhelmed me with their constant flow of love and support. Those are some very special people, people with hearts of gold and determined minds to help others, and my family is on the receiving end of those gifts right now. Every message, email, hug, prayer means the absolute world to me and keeps me going when I'm not sure I can. So many of the Hugo moms are inspirations to me, role models. Especially Martha.

I am thankful for Paula and my parents for pushing me to do something about my health and for encouraging me every step of the way. I am thankful for Sola Life and Fitness for the support, tools and resources they have provided for me to lose the weight so far and to continue to push on.

I am thankful for Tom, my wonderful boyfriend who has been there for me every step of the way through everything with my dad and my weight loss journey. He's the sweetest guy I've ever known and I am so lucky that he puts up with me and cares about me. He is a gift and I cannot wait to see where else our relationship with go from here.

I am thankful for God and for my relationship with Him. For the unconditional love that He gives me and the blessings He puts in my life. Without Him, none of this would be possible.

There is more, but I will stop there. I am going to enjoy what's rest of Thanksgiving on the couch at my parents house, sipping tea and nursing my sore muscles from our flag football game.

Weight loss Wednesday: surviving thanksgiving

My friends at work can tell you I'm really careful at parties and luncheons. I don't totally starve myself but I don't overdo it. 

But Thanksgiving is tomorrow and that day is pretty much centered around food.  And while I'd like to tell you I'm not worried about it, I'm worried About it. So that has forced me to come up with a plan.

First of all, I'm going to work out in the morning. My gym is closed but my parents have a treadmill so I'm going to do that. And do some core work. Maybe.

I'm also going to eat my normal breakfast  . I don't believe in starving myself all day and then binging for the meal. I'll eat some oatmeal and fruit in the am to get my metabolism going! 

I will eat a snack of raw veggies before we leave. I'll also have some waiting for me when we come home.

I'm going to drink a ton of water. Like, a ton.

I will do my best to avoid hor d'ourves, or at least the dangerous ones. 

For the meal I we serve myself a hefty slice of turkey and green beans. I will take small amounts of the rest.

I will participate in the flag football game and maybe actually even try to break a sweat. Usually I just kind of stand there. 

That's my plan, kids. We will see how it goes. I plan on having a glass of wine or two so I really do need to be careful on my calorie watch.

In other news, I DID finally beat my weight loss plateau and am now down a total of 27lbs. I also saw my doctor and my blood pressure was the lowest it's been in over a year. She was really excited about that! And, my clothes are falling off. Like literally. All of these things are excellent reminders that I'm on my way to reaching my goal.

When I hit 50lbs I think I'll have a party to celebrate. You're all invited.

Happy thanksgiving, I am off to enjoy thanksgiving eve by having sushi with my boyfriend and then head to my parents house for the night so we can drive together tomorrow. I will be posting tomorrow, but in the meantime go hug your family and enjoy your time with them!

Please don't go shopping on Thanksgiving.

The biggest lesson I have learned in the past few months is this: Life moves too quickly. Suddenly things can happen and your entire world can be changed and you may have missed an amazing opportunity.

Thanksgiving is one of the rare days in a year that is focused totally on family. No matter who your family may be- parents, siblings, roommates, friends, neighbors....it's a day devoted to spending time with them and appreciating the blessings in your life.

Please do not go shopping on Thanksgiving. The fact that these stores are opening to push their sales and to make money is disgusting. We now live in a culture where shopping is more valued than family time. It's sad. Now the store employees are being called to work because corporations are being selfish and forcing stores to open on Thanksgiving so that they can compete with one another and make more cash. I want to walk up to corporate buildings of these stores and slap CEO's on the head. While that CEO is enjoying a slice of apple pie with his family, because Lord knows HE won't be working, his store associates will be doing crowd control so shoppers don't beat each other to death over the PS4. That, my friends, is not the spirit of Thanksgiving.

The problem isn't just the company itself, though. I mean, they should have better morals, but obviously enough customers pushed for this that it happened. I get that people want to go grab hot items while they can. They want to buy toys and games for their kids at the best price possible. They want a deal. Wake up, people. The best deal you've been given is the gift of your family. Try, for a second, to see past all the material things and realize that your family is here now, and they won't be forever. Instead of chowing down your food and driving to the closest Target, please talk to your cousin about how her first year of college is going, throw a football around with your brother in law, share a glass of wine with grandma. Hold your nieces and nephews. Do a puzzle with your dad. Call your best friend and remind them how thankful you are for them. Say a prayer of gratitude. Bring your leftovers to your neighbors house. Invite a stranger into your family. But please, please, don't go shopping on Thanksgiving.

Personally, there's nothing I'd rather do than be with my family on Thanksgiving. I work in healthcare and rarely get days off. I won't be off at all on Black Friday, Christmas Eve, or New Year's Eve. Having Thanksgiving off is a blessing for me, and I will be spending it with my family. You won't be able to pull me away from my nephew. And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Sidenote: Kudos to Costco, Nordstorm, and the other stores that so far refuse to open on Thanksgiving. Extra sweet potato casserole for each of you.

thanksgiving 2011

I am thankful to have literally the best family a person could ask for. A father who is compassionate, introspective, and genuinly concerned about others. A mom who is a fabulous teacher, friend, who does what she can to see others happy and successful. A sister who is patient, kind, passionate about her work and her relationships. A brother in law who gives great hugs, who takes care of people. A brother who sees a broken person and immediatley goes to help them, who works hard to make other people laugh and feel accepted...and a sister in law who shares my sense of humor but who is much braver and stronger than I with a care free attitude.

I am thankful for the friends who have stood by me through everything, without question, and who have taught me, held my hand and let that hand go at the right times. For the friends who inspire me with the great work they do, who love freely and give as much as they can.

I am thankful for music that gets me through each and every day. I know everyone thought I was joking when I thanked Nicki Minaj this year but I was 100% serious. For five months I did nothing but listen to Pink Friday on repeat while I applied for jobs. For Melinda, Mandisa, The Spill Canvas, Kelly Clarkson, Adele, NeedToBreathe, Lady Antebellum, Gavin DeGraw, Bruno Mars, JillandKate, Taylor Swift, Drake, Sara Barielles, Kate Voegele, Jacks Mannequin, Gaga, Hanson, Jack and White, Florence and theMachine, Christina Perri...I love you all. Thank you for giving me life :)

I am thankful for a rewarding job that inspires me daily. I am thankful that I am part of this beautiful ministry of end of life care. That I can hear stories from patients and volunteers that touch my heart and make me a better person. That I have coworkers who unselfishly give so much to our patients. For Sarah, who got me this job and who has been a constant source of support. For Maggie and Tierra who make me laugh and help me on the bad days. <3

I am thankful for new opportunities. For closed windows and open doors. For finally seeing that sometimes things just happen for a reason. For never giving up. For learning how to believe in myself. For the opportunity to serve God. For growing up. For living a life that I am proud of.

Love you all.