Thursday, March 13, 2014

One year

A year ago, just as I was getting home from work, my phone rang. The caller id read "private". Normally, I would ignore these types of calls. But I was hopeful that it was my then boyfriend, who had been acting weird the past 24 hours.

It wasn't him. It was his ex girlfriend, who I knew he still talked to, even though he had promised me he stopped and that he "wanted nothing to do with her". But sometimes I would look over and see him texting her. I would ignore it, not wantin to start a fight. I should have known. 

Based off the information I just gave you, I'm sure you can all imagine what happened next. 

In the moments following that phone call, I felt my world crashing. Which sounds totally desperate and sad but it is sadly true. I thought the world of him, I never thought he'd hurt me. Until then, things seemed fine. But as it turns out, nearly everything about our relationship was a lie.

To discover that the last 4 months of your life were a lie and meant nothing is a hard, cold pill to swallow. I felt washed over. I felt betrayed, and I didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be. 

And that, my friends, is when Tom came in. It was his birthday. I took to Facebook with my emotions. Tom and I were still Facebook friends. He immediately messaged me to ask if I was okay, and we started talking again.

I was a mess. I mean, a mess. I felt like I was worthless and unloveable. Tom helped change my mind.

So really, even though I felt like my world was crashing a year ago, it was actually just beginning. 

Once I pulled myself together and began to see myself as someone important and worthy of love, I began to exercise and eat healthy. I became the best version of myself, all while having my best friend by my side.

It took a while. I had a few months of feeling like a zombie, of crying so much my eyes burn, of intense anger flowing through my blood. But with Toms help, along with the help of my friends and family, I made it out, and I made it out much stronger and better than I ever would have imagined.

Today is Tom's birthday. I will never be able to give him a gift like he gave me last year: hope. But I am wishing him the happiest birthday ever. He's got a lot on his plate right now but I know he can make it, just like I did. Tom, thank you for all the laughs, hugs, hoodies, support, and encouragement you've shown me through the last year. We've got this, babe! Happy birthday! 


Dee @ A Deecoded Life said... Add Reply

Aww! I love reading this! Tom is like the Peeta to your Katniss. Happy birthday to him!

cleemckenzie said... Add Reply

Always wonderful to find a supportive friend.