Dear Ryan....One Years Old.

Dearest Ryan,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You are officially a year old, my favorite little guy! October 30th is now my very favorite day of the entire year, because it is the day you came into my life and I was forever changed.

I know this sounds really cheesy, but I didn't know how much I could love someone until I held you for the first time. I love my family, and my friends, but no one compares to you, and nothing compared to seeing you for the first time. And you know what? I get that feeling right back again every single time I see you. It has not disappeared, and I know it never will.

I had a wonderful moment with you a few weeks ago. I was babysitting you, and it was time for bed. You were trying to resist. You didn't even want your milk and you barely let me put your train pj's on. But I held you close in the rocking chair and began to sing to you. It was a song I made up to the tune of "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star". I can't even remember the words now...but as I sang you calmed down, you stopped crying and just snuggled up. Eventually, your eyes closed and you let me put you in your crib. It was so sweet. I was overjoyed that music can calm you, because that's exactly what it does for me. We have that in common.

We celebrated your first birthday this past weekend. Your house was full of people that love you and wanted to celebrate you. You got so many toys, and even your personal little cake. I got you a piano, and your face showed me how much you liked it. I hope you keep it for a while and maybe you'll even learn to play someday. You can be our little musician.

Ryan, I'd love to leave you with some words of wisdom for your first birthday, but it's actually you that have taught me many lessons. Like, enjoy the little things. Smile at strangers. Play in the leaves. Love with all you can. Those are all things that you do, and things I am trying to do, too.

You are the most important person in our lives. You have opened our hearts to a new kind of love. You are our little king.

Happy Birthday, Ryan.

Love, Aunt Megan

Sidenote: I have been writing these letters on the 30th of each month since Ryan was born. People have asked me if I will continue them after his first birthday. I always say I'm not sure. I am going to continue. I saw in my sister's eyes how much the letters mean to her. One day Ryan will read this and who knows if he will roll his eyes or if he will love them, but I am going to take the chance that he will appreciate them. And if nothing else, they are for my sister. So yes, I will continue these letters. Even if I close this blog down someday, I will continue to write to him as long as I can on the 30th of each month. And each year, I will put them all together and give them the years worth of letters on his birthday.