So, this morning I got on the scale expecting to be at 65 lbs lost. I know, I know. Stop getting on the scale. But I was really hoping to see that number.
What I saw instead was a "gain", putting me back where I was a few weeks ago. Now, I had a bad Saturday with food, but one Saturday should not back that much of a difference. I was frustrated- I seem to be stuck in the same 4-5 lbs and keep losing it, then gaining it back, then losing it. I had a moment of panic thinking that I will be stuck at this weight forever and won't reach my goal.
But instead of giving up, I put an "ask" out there to my friends, to myfitnesspal, and headed to the gym to do a weight workout and to talk to my trainer.
I heard a couple different things, but something I heard from several different people is that I'm not actually eating enough calories. My daily allowance is pretty high, due to my weight and height, but I never eat my allowance. I am usually 400-500 calories UNDER my allowance, actually. Even more so if I have an intense workout, which is 3-4 days a week. So, what people told me is that my body is going into a bit of starvation mode. It doesn't want to work because I'm not giving it fuel.
It's dangerous to tell a girl like me that I can eat more. My mind says "sweet! I can eat more! Let's get some fries!"
But I know that's not what people mean. Instead, I have to eat more, but eat healthy foods in between my meals. This is still a scary concept for me. I guess because our whole lives are spent talking about cutting calories, and now I have to figure out how to balance those calories and actually eat what I am supposed to eat. Today was my first day at this, and here is my food diary.
Breakfast: Egg whites (6 tbs), spinach (1cup), whole wheat sandwich thin, 2 tbsp of peanut butter.
Snack: Whole grain blueberry muffin
Lunch: whole wheat sandwich thin, turkey, pepperjack cheese, 1/2 cup spinach, 1 bag of skinnypop popcorn
Snack 2: 1 oz honey roasted peanuts
Dinner: Panera Thai Chopped Chicken Salad
I am much closer to my calorie allowance than usual. I am silently worrying that eating more than I am used to today is going to cause me to gain 10 lbs, but I know that's not true and that this is yet another adjustment I have to make. I did go over my sodium intake today, but I am hoping I can flush that out with water.
I am also praying that I can keep focused, and that my mind does not slip back into food addiction. Like, I don't want to start thinking "it's okay, i need more calories, I can eat this....". Because I have to make sure I am eating the RIGHT foods! A lot of people suggested protein shakes/bars. I have never tried them before, but I think I will!
So what do I do now? I follow everyone's advice and sneak protein in where I can for my snacks. I keep up my water intake. I increase the weights I am using when lifting. I go to bed at a decent hour, and get my workouts done in the morning like I used to do (with the exception of kickboxing on Monday's!) I keep going. I don't stop. I do not quit.
I solemnly swear I will not step on the scale until July 1st. This will be very, very hard for me but I also need to quit stressing on the #'s and quit making it run my journey for me.
As always, thanks for listening and reading and supporting me! I did want to share a piece of advice I got from one of my Myfitnesspal Buddies, and it certainly made me relax a bit:
When I lost my weight I had roughly 4 plateaus where my weight would just fluctuate back and forth back and forth back and forth.... it was so frustrating!! When this happened I just stuck to my "basics" (which for me boiled down to drink my water and make sure to hit my protein goals) and tried not to stress over it. What would happen for me is when my stall broke I would drop a larger number suddenly one day and then go back to my more normal pound a week sorta thing.
Stalls are totally normal and a very real part of the weight loss process. I compared it to my body having a temper tantrum... "no, I don't want to burn anymore so hahaha" kinda thing. Your body is going through a lot of changes and at first it responds but then it just sorta... stops... for awhile before it starts losing again.