Since I've been reading Firefly Lane (an excellent book, by the way), I have been reflecting a lot on friendships. This morning, one of my friends wrote a blog on that same topic, admitting that she was having some challenges. Here is part of what she said
"I've pretty much accepted that I'm meant to be an independent loner in this current stage of my life. I envy those who can surround themselves with a tight-knit group of girlfriends who they can always count on for guidance and good memories. You know, like the Babysitter's Club.
Are friendships like that a reality? Or just another fantasy that I've fallen victim to?
Nevertheless, I wish I had someone who I could call my BFF4L.
When you feel like your close friends are slipping away from you, what kind of things can you do to help mend that void?"
My comment to here turned into a short novel.
If there is one thing I learned from college, it's that friendship is hard. I always thought it came pretty easy...I was one of those kids that was friends with everyone in elementry school/high school. I just assumed that my friends from high school would be my "best friends forever", that we would grow up and continue to have weekly sleepovers. That when we all got married and had kids, we'd be in the weddings and have play dates I was wrong. dead wrong. I think I stopped talking to them just weeks after I moved into my first dorm room. We grew apart extremely quickly, with different interests and new friends. Sometimes I'm jealous that some of them are still so close, it makes me think that something is wrong with me or that they didn't like me to begin with. But then I realize that the four years I was friends with them was incredibly important, but maybe I had to move on.
It's taken me a long time to learn what true friendship is, and I often envy those who are still best friends with their childhood friends. I have maybe three or four "best friends", people who I just know I will have around forever. They are too valuable to me, and they have been there when no one else has...so, like Hanson, I "hold onto the ones that really care, cuz in the end they'll be the only ones there". (Seriously, mmmbop is the perfect song about friendship). Other friends I have come in and out of my life, and I've become okay with that. When I start to feel a drift or a wall, I send a text or give a phone call, sometimes I send a card. I just like people to know that I care about them, and still think of them.
Honestly, though, sometimes things are meant to happen. I firmly believe that we all cross paths at some point for a reason, and sometimes it's meant for just that- a moment or two. They come in, teach us something, and then they leave. So don't stress out about it too much. Friends are just like any relationship in that sometimes it takes a while to find the right one.
I love my besties, my good friends, backups, former roommates, sorority sisters, mercy girls, childhood friends. I always will. I cherish every moment I had with them, for the challenges, for the good times.
- finished Piece of Cake. Amazing. I'm almost done with Firefly Lane, also amazing
- In just a few days I will be at HOME with my parents for 8 whole days. I am ecstatic.
-Nashville is coming up! EEEEEEEEEE!
OH. I'm going to need you all to watch this.