Monday, January 19, 2015

What If

I have a massive fear of the unknown. Every time a chapter closes and a new one is about to begin, I go into panic mode. I do not like not knowing what to expect. I prefer a plan. I don't like to "go with the flow". I need details.

It happens at ever major milestone- graduations, moving, new jobs, etc. I run through every possible "what if" scenario. But perhaps the biggest "what if" at all is the one that haunts me- and I think it haunts all of us.

"What if I fail?"

No one wants to fail. We don't want to disappoint anyone, we don't want to go backwards. But some of us are even more scared of the opposite...

"What if I succeed?"

The possibility that this next chapter we embark on, whatever it may be, could be extremely successful, is also terrifying. Because then we put pressure on yourselves. Then we feel like every single move we make has to be the right one.

In some ways, it's almost easier to fail. We can wipe our hands, shrug it off, and try something else. But if you succeed, you're expected- by whom I'm not so sure- to keep it up. And then, THEN, when we are at the top, should we slip, that's when the let down happens.

So if we don't want to fail, and we don't want to succeed, what do we do? Well, most of us ride a fine line in between. We get comfortable. We stay in the same lane at the same speed, coasting.

Here's the way I see it, though, success is where we should be aiming. It's a far greater feeling to stand back and say "I did that" than it is to say "I was too afraid to try". 

Do not let the fear of failure OR success to stand in your way of your journey. whatever that may be. You were given this one, precious life to live. Wouldn't it be a shame to let it pass you by?

On a similar note, may we all take comfort in the fact that everything that is happening right now is happening for a reason. I know that sounds cliche and somewhat obnoxious, especially if you are dealt a sucky hand right now. But just know that no matter how terrible your circumstances, the pieces are falling into place as they should. We may not ever understand why, and the pain we feel during these hard times could be great, but eventually, it will make sense, and you will reach peace. 

Note: I know that I have written about this before. But it was on my heart tonight, and I thought maybe someone needed to hear these words.

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