Moving

I'm moving.

And it's happening very fast.

I wasn't necessarily planning on moving. My plan originally was that my current two roommates were going to move out and a friend of mine, Amy,  was going to move in. We pretty much had it settled that she would move in mid next month. But things changed and without going into the details of everything, I have to be out by the end of the month.

So, the first step was to find a place to live. Which wasn't terribly easy. I spent hours and hours looking for houses and apartments over the weekend, and I visited several. None of them seemed like a good fit. They were overpriced for their size or in a bad location. Until I visited a condo on Monday night.

The ad on Craigslist made the place seem magical- both Amy and I were texting each other about it saying we couldn't stop staring at it. I was instantly imagining all the dinner parties we would have- and I don't even have dinner parties. I set up an appointment to view the condo on Monday evening. The place is gorgeous and just as it appeared in the pictures. It's spacious, it's in good condition and it makes me feel fancy. I like feeling fancy.

I called my parents right after to tell them how great it was. One of the big perks for me (and there were several) was how big it was. More sq footage than the house I am in now, plus two full bathrooms. Two FULL baths? Sign me up!

Amy and I immediately sent in our application and necessary documents, and within a few days, everything was official.

So now, I have to pack up the house that I have lived in for three years and get ready to settle in to a new place. And with that comes all the extras- changing utilities over, finding a few new pieces of furniture, sharing weird quirks about each other with my new roommate, etc. Funny thing is, Amy and I have known each other since we were 5. We were best friends for most of my childhood. But as we went to different high schools and had different adult lives, that changed- she's still an awesome person, I just don't go to her house to play dolls anymore. BUT NOW I WILL BECAUSE SHE WILL BE IN MY HOUSE.

In a way, I am sad to be leaving my house. I've been here for three years and a whole lot has happened in those three years. I told Sam "this isn't technically the house I grew up in, but it's the house where I feel like I really grew up". I did. I became an adult in this house. I learned how to make some difficult decisions. I will also miss the location and the ability to walk to get a bagel or to the fancy grocery store or to my gym.

I'm also excited, though. This new place feels, so far, like the right move. It's closeby to my parents house and to some of the major roads around here. We will have access to a pool and a clubhouse. Traffic might be more of an issue but the community itself seems quiet. 

So, I'm excited.  A little overwhelmed when I look around and see all that I have to pack up, but still excited. I can begin 2015 with this new adventure. 

Support.

Some of you may remember that three years ago, the St. Hugo Community lost a very dear friend, Susan, in a tragic event. It still haunts me, and on the anniversary of her death I always feel it deep in my gut.

As the anniversary date was approaching this year, I wanted to try to plan something for us to come together and remember our friend. Instead of trying to organize a big memorial service, I simply invited others to join me at Church on Saturday evening. It was very laid back, no pressure, just an invitation. The best part? People came.

There I was, sitting in between my mom and Tom, surrounded by other families who loved Susan as much as I did. There was no mention of her name at Church, there was no dedication- but we knew. And sitting there together, worshiping and reflecting, was pretty darn special.

When Mass was let out I felt very fulfilled. People were coming up to me and my mom and thanking us for organizing it. There was no need to thank-it was simply an invitation.

And that got me thinking how simple, yet important, an invitation can be. Making someone feel welcome, embracing them, can make all the difference. It doesn't have to be fancy or planned, just inviting someone to sit with us or to join us is special.

I'll admit: I don't get out much. My main social circle includes Tom, Sam, and my parents. But at the same time, I know that I am never alone. I know that I have support from my family, my church, old friends, old coworkers, and new coworkers. I know that if something tragic happened to me, people would jump in to help. That feeling is so wonderful and a very good one to have when you are a 27 year old young professional who has a lot of decisions to make in her daily life- everything from where am I going to live to what is the best yoga studio. I seek advice from my friends and family a lot, and there's always someone jumping in to help.

It's important to build and maintain those relationships. We never know when we will need someone-or when they will need us. Hold on to those people, even if it's just the occasional e-mail or message on Facebook. What I have learned in life is that while there are bad people out there, people who we connect with are special, and we connected with them for a reason. Know the power of that connection, and cherish it.

I should also mention that I certainly hope the people in my life feel supported by me. I know I'm busy and that weight loss has been my main focus the past year and a half, but I am always willing to listen and to help solve problems when I can.

Have a great week, friends.

Before and After

I often post pictures comparing my "before and after" weight loss progress. I'll admit it, I'm proud. And I like to share with my friends. Last night I sent one to a friend and she said "you must feel so much better". Oh, I do. And that got me thinking: I should use my words, emotions and feelings to describe how I have felt, before and after. And so that's what I've done here. No holding back.

Before: "you look tired"

After "you look amazing"

Before "if I eat this cake, I will feel better"

After "I hate putting crap into my body. I don't need that"

Before ::tears in the dressing room::

After: Smile..."it fits"

Before: I'm so scared

After: I've got this covered.

Before: I'll do anything to be liked. Even if it means pretending to be something I'm not

After: I'm me, take it or leave it. 

Before: Disgusted Looks.

After: smiles and hellos.

Before: out of breath after one flight of stairs

After: 65 flights.

Before: I feel so uncomfortable

After: I feel so light

Before: size 24

After: size 16

Before: Lonely, spending my nights alone in my room writing sad songs 

after: Smiles and laughter come easily. Life is fun. I don't want to miss it.

Before: Heating a frozen pizza is cooking, right?

After: new recipes every night 

Before: "have you tried losing weight?"

After "how the Hell did you lose all that weight?"

Before: I just want to sleep. All of the time. 

After: Nap after a workout.

Before: Did I just break that chair?

After: I can lean back without breaking a chair. 

Before: I'm disgusting 

After: I look good.

Before: "you have such a pretty face"

After: "you're beautiful"

Before: Can't run around the block without pain

After: 3 miles.

Before: Do I have to face the world today?

After: What's in store for me today?

Before: No one will ever love me.

After: I deserve all the love that Tom gives to me.

Before: I don't like who I am. I want to disapear.

After: I love who I have become. I want to shine. I do shine.

I hope that helped give a clear pictures of what this weight loss journey has done for me, emotionally. It's been quite a ride.  

Weight Loss Wednesday

Today, I don't want to talk about me or my weight loss journey.

I want to talk about you- anyone who is thinking about getting started, or who has made a resolution to get started. Maybe you feel lost, not sure what to do first, or maybe you feel overwhelmed.

I'm sure you've done some research and googled questions about weight loss. And I know there is a LOT of information out there about detoxes and juice cleanses and crazy diets like the military diet that basically require you to starve yourself. And those things scare me, because those things are kind of dangerous. And also, in my experience, don't always work.

Here's what you should do.

Join a gym. It doesn't have to be a super fancy one. Just make sure it's one where you feel comfortable. I am a big fan of group exercise classes because I believe they make you accountable, but not every gym offers them. And that's fine. Just join a gym, talk to a trainer and build your program. There are tons of websites that can help you build a workout. I sometimes use Pinterest- just search workouts. If joining a gym is totally out of your budget, that's fine. You can workout at home. Use DVD's, use the stairs in your house or apartment complex, use your body weight. Another great website is www.workoutlab.com . Use it!

Eat healthy. Healthy= lots of lean meats and veggies. We know this. It's common sense. But we have to actually do it. Eat snacks like almonds, apples, cottage cheese, yogurt. Cut back on carbs, sugar, and sodium. A good trick? When you go to the grocery store, try to only buy food on the outside of the store- not through the aisles. Cut  back on processed, packaged foods. When I don't have leftovers for lunch. I try to make a salad- using lots of greens and veggies and adding in tuna, black beans, or chicken to get protein.

Friends, those are the two things you need to know to do this. And I KNOW you can do this. You have to take a leap and get right into it. And then take your time. Know that you will hit walls. And that's okay. You will learn how to climb over them and crush them to pieces.

And please, if you ever need encouragement, or ideas, or recipes, please reach out to me.