I don't even know if "zip to it" is an actual phrase people use. But I'm going to start.
Yesterday I had a bad day. Not at work. Work was actually good. I was finally recognized for something I accomplished and felt like things are getting somewhat in order. But emotionally, yesterday was rough. These past few weeks have been, actually. All because of the realization: my anxiety is still a part of my every day life. I knew a long time ago it'd always be there, but these past few weeks, I've seen an increase in anxiety. And it's not good. It causes me to feel inferior, and then have low self esteem, and then things just get worse. I've been at my worst before, I can't go there again.
So what did I do? I called my mom. And cried. And she told me I need to do one thing at a time to get better, to get back on track. I can do one thing today, another next week. Baby steps. For a very long time I thought I was coasting right through, doing just fine, but it's very clear that I'm not. And for me to admit that to myself and to you readers is a hard thing. But hey, this is my blog, these are my thoughts.
So I'm going to zip to it. I've created my "task list" and e-mailed it to my mom. She is supposed to check in with me to see if I did it. It is one very small thing at a time.
Thank you all for reading my a-z posts. I wish this one was a happier one for ya.
All I ask from my friends and family is that you be patient and know that each and every single day is a struggle, but I am going to do what I need to do to get better. And I'm going on a retreat this weekend geared toward young adults who are "lost" in what to do with their lives. Hi, that's me. This retreat could not come at a better time.
I think I'm going to take some time away from blogging while I figure myself out. I'm going to be journaling every single day. I'll be back soon.
I love you all very much and I appreciate your support. Anxiety, you can zip to it too. Right to the curb.