slow down, you crazy child

I've jumped into this "lifestyle change" full speed ahead since Christmas break. I track what I eat on , substitute fatty school lunches for homemade, healthier options, and make myself more aware of healthier choices. This isn't about a diet, it's about changing my attitude toward food. No longer making it a necessity or something that makes me feel better, but rather filling my heart with happiness and peace. It's working. I hopped on the scale this morning before I left my parents house and can proudly say I have lost ten pounds since Christmas break. Every single day is a struggle, but I'm beating it. This "get hot for the wedding" plan is actually working. I know that the hardest part will be keeping it off and maintaining my healthy lifestyle, but I just have to take this one day at a time. Actually, one step at a time.

I'm feeling a little better about Laurence's service thanks to spirituality night. Katie had us do a meditation, and I felt at peace in God's presence. I've realized maybe my feelings yesterday were a good thing...maybe it's calling me to action to really be strong in my beliefs. Maybe this time can be a time for me to grow in my relationship with God. I had a couple visions during this mediation, all of which comforted me, and all of which assured me that Laurence is safe in Jesus' arms.

I made the decision earlier today to cut out facebook/twitter for the next one-two weeks. It's been something I've been wanting to do for a while, and I think I need it now more than ever. It's not because I'm depressed or because I'm lazy. It's because I have been getting to caught up in instant gratification and in spending my time dedicated to things and to what other people are doing, every second of the day. I need to take time to focus on me, on God, and on my service here with MVC. I need to step away from caring so much about what is going on and care more about what's happening in my heart. I hope this makes sense and that everyone can respect that. You can email me at mcarolin05@gmail.com , text or call me. I may still be blogging, I'm not sure. I'll cross that bridge when it comes.

I'll def be posting the video for Laurence on Facebook within the next two days, but other than that don't expect to see me around. I'm going to fill my time in silence, writing, reading, and creating new programming for my kids. I'm also going to be spending it praying and figuring out what I'm supposed to do with my life.

I love you all so much, and am grateful for your support.