Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Just You and I Defying Gravity

On Monday, one of my favorite students asked if we could have a private talk. She told me that she was planning on leaving the school because of some issues that she was having. I care a lot about her, even though she gives me attitude most of the time, she's also a sweet kid dealing with a lot of other challenges. On Monday she was in tears as she said "the only person I care about in this school is you". My heart sunk, because she has gotten into trouble before and I panicked about what else she could get into when not in the safety of this great school. I quickly tried to talk her out of leaving and to stay strong, because she can't continue to run away from everything that upsets her. Our time was cut off and when I went back into the office a few hours later to check on her, I was told her dad had come to pick her up.

Yesterday she was absent. I freaked. Her friends told me she was leaving, but nothing was official. I went home and prayed my heart out that she would be comforted and led back to the school.

This morning I was having a conversation with a student when I heard someone walking in VERY loudly clicking their heels. I sighed and half- jokingly said "whoever that is gets a detention for disturbing the peace". When I turned, there she was. I hugged her and told her I was so happy to see her. She smiled at me and said she was back for now but probably leaving in January.

I'll tell you one thing, I will do whatever I can to get her to stay. She needs it. For now, I'm just happy she came back.

There's another student who gets kind of lost in the shuffle. She reminds me of myself, except when I was her age I pushed myself to talk and be involved in as much as possible. She's an extremly smart girl and a beautiful writer, I know this because she's in my creative writing class. Before today, I've only heard her speak a handful of words. I have made it my mission to try and warm her up to people, because as someone with severe anxiety I know how hard it can be, but I want so badly for this girl to suceed. I've started conversations with her, pushed her lightly to talk in front of people...she even came up to ME today to say hi, which has never happened before. I walked her out today and helped carry her books (those things are SO heavy) and she spoke four whole sentences to me, which is more than I have ever heard her say. I wanted to run around and hug people I was so excited. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you knew this girl and saw how hard it was for you, you'd be jumping up and down as well. I hope she sees that I care about her and am reaching out to her, because it's all she needs right now- just someone to be there. I can tell.

I asked both of these students permission to write about their stories in my blog. They both said yes and were excited that I cared so much.

I think all of us in this house are feeling the weight of the world. We want to help so badly but will probably never know the impact, if any, we are having on our sites. It's hard to detach from the horribly sad stories we hear every single day.

I am thankful for:
-Support, support, support!
-Quiet time.
-Gingerbread latte's in red cups.
-Gifts from students (drawings, poems)
-Sweet things people say

I would do a one person thankful thing tonight but it is WAY past my bedtime- I'll do two tomorrow.

Also, tomorrow I am going on a super cool conference with three students! WOOO.

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