this is my last chance

Hi, friends! I hope everyone is doing well. It's only been a week since Lent began, and I miss Twitter already. I really don't miss facebook as much, but oooh do I miss twitter. It's been good, though. One less thing to worry about.

So, what have I been up to? Babysitting every morning from 6:30-7:45. (Yep, only a little bit each day, but hey, it's steady, and I know I'm getting a check for it every Friday). Picking up other random babysitting jobs (doing a couple overnight jobs in the beginning of April), volunteering at Cristo Rey, playing volleyball (championship game tonight! woo!) and applying for jobs. Well, really searching for jobs. I've sort of hit a wall with the applying. There just aren't that many anymore. Trust me, I look. I spend 3-4 hours every day searching, writing cover letters and sending out e-mails. I've started keeping a spreadsheet, so I can follow up better. From March 10th-today (I don't search on weekends), I've applied for fourteen jobs. Not one of them is in Michigan, but it's starting to look like I will have to move (if I get a job, ha). Unless, of course, I get accepted to Grad School. I should be hearing sometime in April or May, so please keep your fingers crossed. Oh, I also had a phone interview yesterday for a job in Detroit. I try not to get my hopes up anymore, though, so I'll just say- it was fine. They will get back to me in a few weeks.

But you know what? Overall, I'm pretty happy. Sad when I don't get a job, yes, frustrated, yes, but happy. Taken care of. My parents do a wonderful job of supporting me, comforting me, encouraging me. Most of my babysitting jobs have been through my mom, which I'm so grateful for. I've also just been enjoying (as cheesy as this sounds) getting to know them. I think most of us spend our whole lives trying to impress our parents or make them proud, and yes, I still want that desperately, but I'm so glad that I can actually form a friendship bond with them. Don't worry, they can still intimidate me, and tell me to clean my room, but living with them is so much more fun (no offense, mom and pops) than I imagined. They give me space but they are there for me.

I've also been able to see three of my best friends recently. My friend Sarah and I are in similar situations, she's back home, taking a few classes and trying to find a job. Not only is she one of the funniest, most understanding and honest friends I have, but we also share a love for Idol and Glee. I saw her twice last week and I'm sure that will continue, which makes me happy. On Monday I had lunch with my friend Christine, who I've known since I was five. Yep. Friends for 18 years. We're also on a similar journey, so it was nice to vent. Finally, I had dinner with Alex Monday night. It just made me so happy to see him and reminded me why we are best friends. I love that kid to death, and I'm so proud of him. He's doing a year of AVC at UofD, and loving it. I'm sure the feeling is mutual with his students :)

So, that's my life at the moment. Other random updates that no one cares about? Sure.

-What I'm Watching: Detroit 187, Glee and Idol, duh. 187 is such a good show, makes me sad that it probably won't get picked up. Last night's Glee episode was wonderful. The original songs were so much better in context, Mercedes got a kick-ass solo, and Klaine happened. Oh, and they actually mentioned Quinn's baby. Idol? I'm having a love affair with this season. Seriously. Thank goodness it is so much better than last year, and honestly, probably better than Season 8. I pretty much like everyone, but Casey and Jacob are my favorites. BUT, I will say Paul is becoming one of my favorites. His voice is very similar to a lot of the artists I listen too. Also watching Modern Family, always hilarious, and Greys which is back tomorrow night.

-What I'm Reading: Just finished I'd Know You Anyhwere by Laura Lippman. Loved it! Highly recommended. Page turner, mysterious, emotional. Now I'm reading Get Lucky by Katherine Center, which is good, and the writing is excellent, but I've read so many books too similar. Still good, though. While I read those, I'm reading God Loves Ugly by Christa Black, which is a self help book aimed at young girls, but I really think every woman should read it. It's a beautiful story that is allowing me to really examine myself. When I finish that, I'll start The Highly Sensitive Person, to continue to learn about myself :)

-What I'm Listening To: The CD's that are in constant rotation in my car are: 21, Adele (I listened to it for literally two weeks straight, without stopping once or switching to radio), Incredible Machine, Sugarland, and, most recently, the LIVE Cd of Melinda's Love 101, which is absolutely amazing. When I'm at home, you can usually find me listening to Nicki Minaj. Seriously. Whenever I sit down to apply for jobs, I put on Pink Friday. And that's...a lot. It's like I can't stop. I forget I even have other music on my Itunes, sometimes. Wow, that's creepy. Anyways, if I do stray away from Nicki, I'm usually on Pandora, on my Spill Canvas channel. Some of my favorite bands have been discovered from that station- Cartel and NeedToBreathe are two of my favorites right now.

Here, have one of my most recent obsessions.

Stop The Hate.

Note:This may be the most important blog I have ever written. Please, please read this and share. I feel so strongly about this issue, and now that it has happened to someone I know, I am even more disgusted. My emotions definitely show in this post.

I'd like to introduce to you my friend Justin. Justin was one of my good friends in high school, and we have kept in some contact throughout college and after. Not as much as I would like, but I think of him often and check up on him on facebook. He is one of the sweetest, strongest guys I have ever known, always looking to make people feel welcome and enjoy themselves. On March 7th, Justin was the victim of a hate crime. I will let you listen to his story, and then share my thoughts.

Some of you may have seen it on facebook/twitter last night. I will warn you that it contains harsh language- use of the "f bomb" and gay slang terms. But, I encourage you to get past that and watch it anyways. This is a story that needs to be shared.



My initial reaction to seeing this and reading Justin's facebook status? Disgust. Heartbreak. I'm saddened enough by the amount of hate and bullying in this world, but to see it happen to one of my friends, in my city, is terrifying and disturbing. The hate needs to stop. How DARE one of us judge another person so harshly that we want them dead? This is not the way to live our lives. What good does hate do? Nothing. Hating someone does not make you better than them, it does not change any circumstances. Acting on it only makes you look worse, not strong. The fact that the witnesses just stood there and did nothing is equally disturbing. This was someones life at risk. It could have been any of us.

We need to stand against this. It is our duty as humans to look out for one another. We need to teach our children to love and accept others no matter the difference. What happened to Justin is not okay. It shouldn't happen, period. Not to anyone. How can we teach kids to love themselves, to accept who they are, when we have animals like the guy who attacked Justin running around threatening lives?

Please, stop the hate. I believe each of us can do something to put an end to this. Let us smile more, love more, be more grateful, open and forgiving. Be good examples.

I'm sorry that I cannot adequately put into words how I feel. I was so affected by Justin's story...no words can express how disgusted and disturbed I am that things like this are happening, and how passionate I am about putting it to an end. I hope that you will join me. I am going to try and do my part by eliminating the word hate from my vocabulary. It slips out, but the less I say it, the less I will feel it.

To Justin, thank you for sharing your story. I know it took strength and courage, two of the things I have always admired most about you. I hope that this will catch attention and give people a wake up call, force them to get up and do something about this. I love you, big bird :)

Love. That's all I can say. Just love.

Thank you.

Lent, 2011 Style

This may sound kind of strange, but I always really look forward to Lent. The idea of sacrificing something to focus on spirituality and Jesus' love for us intrigues me. Last year was the most dedicated, intense Lenten season I've ever had. I gave up a number of things and spent much of my time in silent prayer. I honestly believe I succeeded so much because of the environment I was in. I was living with three very spiritual people my age who were excited and into Lent, I had the support of the Sister's of Mercy and several opportunities for Lenten reflections.

This time around, it's not quite the same. I'm living at home, babysitting when I can, and desperately trying to find a job. I spend most of my time on the computer, job searching, typing cover letters, writing blogs, and, yes, indulging in the fascination of social media. Facebook and Twitter are my outlets. Probably (and yes, this is sad) because I don't have much of a social life, I sort of rely on those to be my way of contacting others. I rant about American Idol and Glee, participate in silly tumblr challenges, etc. I totally have fun doing it, but during these next forty days I really want to spend my time focused on other things. Prayer, journaling, volunteering, reading, etc. I will still be spending a good amount of time on the computer as I will need to keep job hunting, but no social media for me. I may blog from time to time, tho.

It's not going to be easy. The temptation to check twitter and facebook will be there every minute. I'm hoping the experience will allow me to learn about myself. Last year I loved it- I felt so relieved...but as soon as Lent was over I fell right back into the "addiction". So, here is my 2011 Lenten Promise.

Giving Up
-Facebook and Twitter. See ya'll on Easter. If you need to get in contact with me, text me, call me, or e-mail me. Enjoy your Idol parties, Glee rants, inspirational quotes, song lyrics, etc. Also if something exciting happens in your life please tell me :)
-Fast food. I've already been sorta doing this anyways, but this is a no exception kinda thing now.
-Meat. Did this last year and it was much easier than I thought it would be.

Things I'll DO during Lent (all about doing something, not just sacrificing)
-Writing letters. Forty or more of you will get a letter from me, handwritten. Some of you may even get a mixed CD. If you're lucky ;-)
-Spend quiet time in prayer.
-Volunteer. Now is the time to do it, while I'm out of work. In between babysitting and tutoring at Cristo Rey, I'm going to find time to volunteer- hopefully as a mentor with BBBS, Boys and Girls Club, or something of that sort.

Alrighty- I have to head to bed. Happy Mardi Gras to all of you, and I hope you have a blessed, peaceful Lent. I will blog if inspiration comes to me, so keep checking :)

Love.

I Wonder...

First of all, no, I have not heard from any potential jobs. Yes, I'm starting to stress out a little bit. They all said one-two weeks though, and it's been exaclty one. Plus, like I said, I am very grateful that I had interviews. Ijustreallyreallywantoneofthosejobs.

Anyways, today I am bringing, for your reading pleasure, a second edition of "Second Graders Say the Cutest Thing". A few months ago I posted an entry with some of the stories from my mom's kids. Ths time, their project was to write "I wonder"...they had to do one for who, why, when, where, what, if, and how. My mom picked her favorite from each student and made a book. Here are some of MY favorites.

I wonder if when you see a shooting star, your wish really comes true.

I wonder who tells the sun to go down and the moon to go up.

I wonder why we don't have hurricanes in Michigan when we are surrounded by lakes

I wonder if my cat went to Heaven when he died

I wonder when Jesus will return to Earth...

I wonder how come Ann Frank is so famous

I wonder if my dad has met Mrs. Carolin's parents in heaven (this one legit made me cry).

I wonder where Santa has test flights

I wonder when Santa will die

I wonder why stars are so bright

I wonder if everyone in our class will get married

I wonder why God gave us dreams

I wonder who made God

I wonder what God looks like

I wonder where stars go during the day

I wonder if God has a mother

I wonder if Santa is watching me still

I wonder where the homeless give birth (this AMAZED me that a 7 year old came up with this)

The imagination of children fascinates me. I've got a new temporary babysitting gig (been thankful to pick up a couple of these while I'm out of work) that has been going on for the past three weeks and ends next week. Anna is 5 and Owen is 3. They are precious and honest, loving and playful. They are constantly playing make believe, and the things they come up with astonish me. I am instantly reminded of my childhood, when I spent countless days at my friends house playing Barbies, paper dolls, office, school, Babysitters Club, etc. It saddens me that the innocence, the imagination, is gone. I still get ideas, I work well, but I can't "pretend" like they do. Or maybe I'm just not trying hard enough. Maybe I'm too caught up on worrying about "grown up stuff" that I'm not allowing myself to imagine.

Hope you all have a blessed week.