I am sitting here. on a cold Saturday evening, cuddled up in blankets at my parents house. I am watching youtube videos, writing and editing my Laurence book, and waiting anxiously for Saturday Night Live to come on.
I just looked down at the date. October 20th. And it hit me. I am going to be an aunt in roughly 15 days. Cue panic mode. And by panic, I mean excitement. But, yeah, also a little bit of worry. I want to be a good aunt. And being that it is my first time, I don't know how. I even googled "how to be a good aunt". (Good ole google!)
I also started thinking about my own aunts, and the qualities in them that I admire. But that made me a little sad, because, if I'm being totally honest, there is only one aunt that I would actually call up and talk to, and that is my Aunt Maryann. It's not that I don't love the rest of them, I just have not had many close relationships with my aunts. But I do have precious memories of almost all of them. Sleepovers and family bbq's at Aunt Tucky's, perfect Thanksgiving dinners at Aunt Linda's, Aunt Marty always buying me books. Playing in Aunt Pat's basement with her dollhouse, Florida and Christmas dinners with Aunt Terry. I could go on and on, but my point is, they are all special in their own ways. I have just grown apart from most of them.
I don't want that to happen with my little niece or nephew. I want them to be able to call me, when they are 25 and I'm 45. I want them to be able to tell me when they are in trouble, or share good news with me, or ask me for my advice. More than anything, I want them to know that I am here for them. That our bond won't be broken despite what time or distance does. That I love them, unconditionally.
I want to be the kind of aunt that is just there. I know it sounds simple, but it's something I wish I had more with my aunts. I want to be the aunt that sends a card just because, visits just because, actually attends the kids school plays and soccer games. The dependable aunt, who is also fun, a little nerdy and awkward, who is not afraid to tell that kid how special they are...and to give them a goofy nickname that only we understand.
I cannot wait to meet my little niece or nephew in roughly 15 days. I can't wait to begin to build our relationship. I just can't wait.