Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Don't Go Telling Me Your Okay...When You're Lonely

I think I sort of miss Kalamazoo. I don’t miss the excessive drinking and drama; don’t even really miss Western itself minus a few teachers. I miss the days of playing rock band from dusk till dawn, only stopping to eat. I miss our random dance parties, sitting on the balcony, making den runs, staying up all night talking and watching movies, making musical discoveries, having Target right behind our house, 3 dollar movies, bbc jokes, walking around college park, Monaco Bay (before Matt Giraud made it famous, ha), South Haven, Grand Rapids, concerts, walking on campus in the rain, and so much more. I guess…I miss Sam and Lauren and all my other roommates who made my four years great. I don’t know if I miss Delta Gamma, as horrible as that may sound. It was a good run, but sometimes I regret it. It brought about some negative people and situations in my life, and while I had fun, for the most part I was just working by toosh off for something that failed in the end.

It’s just so funny to me how different people come into your life, some leave and some stay forever- whether it’s physically or they are just in your heart for years. Lately I have been even more grateful for the people that have stuck by me through everything; I honestly do not know what I’d do without my support system. There are so many people who I know I can turn to if I ever need anything, which is truly a wonderful feeling.

Right now I feel as though I am still in a protective bubble. We have so many people looking out for us and supporting us, we really can’t complain. I thought that the idea of simple living would be really tough…at times it may be so, but for the most part we get along just fine. One of my favorite parts of this experience is learning how to cut back, since I only get 100 dollars a month for personal use, I no longer waste money like I have in the past. We never go out to eat, to the bar, or the movies but I’m okay with that. It’s nice just living in the moment and spending time with people.

I’d say my biggest stress right now is what the heck I’m going to do next year. Deadlines for grad school applications are coming up. I applied to Ball State and Western (yes, again) and will probably apply to Wayne State by the end of the week. I’m also looking at University of Tennessee….but what do I want to go to school for? Family studies? Counseling? Social Work? Nonprofit organization management? I’m so confused! I’m even more lost now than I was my senior year of college.
I know people don’t want me to worry but like I said, applications have to be in by November-December. So yes, I do have to worry a little bit. If anyone wants to hire me, you just let me know. Seriously.

Alright, I have to prepare myself for my third hour class. Wish me luck.

Listening to: “Lost Without Eachother"- Hanson

1 comment:

Dean said... Add Reply

Whatever you do, know that I'll be praying and supportive in whatever way that I am able. Of course I'm biased and want you to stay in Detroit (Wayne State FTW!) but wherever God leads you, I know that you will do well.