oh darling, don't you ever grow up

So most of you are probably aware that I've been babysitting for the same family overnight lately. This is my third week doing it, and I'm getting more and more attached to these kids. Tonight I was tucking C into bed and she said "guess what? When I'm nine, I'm going to horse back riding camp. What did you do when you were nine?"

Do you know I could not think of a single cool thing I did when I was nine? I just stared at her like she asked me if I had ever been to outer space or something...trying to come up with a really awesome answer. I racked my brain....there has to be SOMETHING. All I could say was "Well, I was in fourth grade...so I probably learned cursive". Um, LAME. First of all now a days kids learn cursive in second grade. Secondly, was that IT?

The conversation was just another reminder of how fast time flies by. I have been very lucky to form strong bonds with young people, especially in the past year. From little baby Caroline to the nearly 18 year olds. I've heard their stories, seen them cry. I've had to say goodbye to many of them, move on. I didn't want to...I just want to protect all of them. I don't want them to grow up and forget how exciting it is to be nine and going to horse back riding camp. I don't want anyone to break their hearts or make them cry. I want them to live in their little bubble of bliss forever...but I know that they can't. That soon, if not already, they will be faced with really tough challenges. And they will have to learn how to deal with them. That though is so scary for me, and I can't imagine what it is like as a parent.

Like I said, time flies by. But I don't think that is any reason to be apathetic. I think it means we need to give 100% at every moment. We need to celebrate the people in our lives, because they won't be around forever. I can't quite find the write words I am trying to say, but here are the lyrics I wrote about it.

I could return to my old ugly habit
push you away before you g>t too close
So it won't hurt as much when you're gone
But I've grown up, and instead I want you to know
I'm smiling like a fool, writing down our memories
Taking all of this in, every moment we share
Because now I know forever doesn't exist
And something just ma> break us apart

We can try and hold on
But I've accepted life happens
And reality just might be bold enough
l you from me

So I'll enjoy it while I can
And miss you when you're gone
Don't worry, my friend
You're forever in my heart
I refuse to forget you, to let this vanish

We can try and hold on
But I've accepted life happens
And reality just might be bold enough
To step in and steal you from me

And to those who are already gone
I know things back then were messy
But please believe me, I hope your life is beautiful
Just like you... and the times we had
Cliche as it may be, the good and the bad
And I am ever so grateful
That for even just a moment
Our lives collided, and we shared our hearts.

We tried to hold on,
But I've accepted life happens
And reality was oh so bold enough
To step in and steal you from me

There's one more thing you should all hear
Straight from my heart to your ears
The bold reality is this-
The love I have for you is real
It always was, it always will be
Do good, my favorite friend.