We are love.

Disclaimer: This is cheesy, but from the heart. Read on.

Tom and I are two people who were meant to be together. We are two people who signed up on a dating website, looking for love. We are two people who dated once, broke up, became friends, and then, slowly but somehow not so slowly, fell in love. We are two people who are getting married in just a few weeks. We are two people who understand each other, who embrace each other, who encourage one another. We are two people who were lucky enough to find one another.

I believe that Tom and I are a combination of the love that surrounds us. We are the love of our parents. Both mine and his have stood by one another through very difficult times, putting love and family first. They have brought the words "dedication", "commitment", and "partnership" to life. We are the love of our siblings, each so different but each so wonderful. We are my sister's patience, my brother's humor, and Nick's perseverance. We are the love that we have seen our siblings show their partners. We have grown tremendously through their examples. We are the love of of nephews and niece, who light up our lives and make us want to be better and to do our part to make a better, brighter world.

We are the love of our friends, who bring so much joy and laughter to our lives, who have stood by us and watched us grow. The memories we've made with our friends, and the examples they have been in our lives, have made life a little more fun, a little less scary, and a lot more beautiful.

We are the love of God. My very favorite quote from Les Miserables says "To love another person is to see the face of God". I am not quite sure I really knew what that meant until I loved Tom. Although our religious views differ, I know with full confidence that God brought us together, and that the Love God instilled in both of us is what has kept us together.

Lastly, I am Tom's love. I am his patience, understanding, compassion, encouragement. I am more "me" because of him, he's brought out the very best in me, and continues to love me even when I am at my worst. He is the only person I could ever imagine having by my side, forever and always. He is my love.

On September 23rd, we will be celebrating our love and our commitment to one another. Every single person in that chapel and in that reception hall has been an impact on the way Tom and I live our lives. It is your love that inspires us, and our love for each of you goes beyond measure. It's a day of celebration. My greatest hope is that we hold on tight to the love we feel at weddings, and we go out in the world and spread it- to everyone we meet, no matter how different they are from us.

Weight Loss Wednesday

I will not lie to you, I was a little apprehensive about today's Weight Loss Wednesday post. I have only lost about another 0.5 of a lb since Christmas Eve. I was hoping to lose at least a few more, so I was feeling kind of down.

But then something special happened. My friend Christine sent me a link to her wedding pictures. I was the maid of honor in her wedding back in late September. I love the pictures- they are stunning. I already have a large stack picked out to be printed and framed. But the first thing I noticed was how much weight I have lost since then. My arms appear flabby and big in the pictures, where now they are stronger and more toned. My fingers are super chubby in the pictures, where as now they are thin. And my face looks bloated at the wedding, now it is much thinner and longer.


Also, I worked in a different branch office yesterday. I had not been there in quite a while, and several people noted how much weight I have lost and how different I look.

And on New Years Eve, when I walked into my friends house for our party, my friend Mary exclaimed "Is that Megan??"

So I need to stop obsessing about the number on the scale and remember how I feel and the progress that I am making. A few months ago I could not even begin to get myself into the plank position, now I can hold a plank for 15 seconds. I can do 75 squats at a time. I can do 60 crunches at a time. These are things I never thought I could do before. My next challenge for myself? Push ups.  Never liked em, never pushed myself enough to do them.  But I'm going to try.

I know I shouldn't get too frustrated about the number on the scale. I need to focus on the other successes and victories, and how I am feeling. But it is hard when I seem to go in this cycle now of "nothing, nothing nothing, BOOM 2 lbs, nothing nothing nothing". I am antsy!

A few people have asked me to share some of my workouts and recipes. So under the cut, you will find that information. If you aren't interested in that, thanks for reading what you have so far, and I hope you have an amazing week!

weekend recap: bridal shower!

Ladies and Gents, I am tired.

This past weekend was BUSY. It the bridal shower for my best friend Christine, who is getting married to the love of her life on September 28th.  I am the maid of honor (and only bridesmaid! such an honor), so I helped play hostess for the shower.

I spent most of Saturday at Paul (the groom to be)'s aunts house. We, along with Paul's grandma, prepared as much food as possible, made little pretzel candies, cleaned, and decorated the tables. It took us about 5 hours but we got a lot done, enough to feel confident for Sunday. By the time I left it was 3pm, so I ran a few of my errands and then headed home to take a quick nap. When I woke up, my tummy was grumbling (didn't eat much during the day- working too much!) so I grabbed Olga's, one of my favorite places to go. Came back home and got a text from my sister that she and some of her friends were in the area. They stopped over, and I walked with them to the downtown area of my city to grab some frozen yogurt. It was good to catch up with them, her friends are also close family friends (I even lived with one of them for a year) so we had a lot to chat about. When I came back from our fro yo outing, my roommate Sam was home along with our friend Krystin. We giggled, talked, and giggled some more. Eventually our friend David also stopped over, with a Little Caesars Hot and Ready in hand. More giggling ensued, before my body told me it was time for bed.

Sunday was the big day of the shower. I got to the house a little early so I could make my famous punch. I stood by my sweet friend Christine as we greeted guests, pointed out the gift table, and mingled. I noted that Christine got a lot of the same questions, over and over. "Are you ready?" "Is your dress in?" "Are you getting excited?". I wanted to take a tally. Eventually we sat down and enjoyed a meal of delicious salads, rolls, and fruit salad. Christine and Paul opened their gifts (and got so much newlywed swag), we ate mini key lime tarts, sipped coffee, took pictures, and soon the day was over, just as quickly as it began. But it was fun, it was joyous and happy, it was sweet. I loved seeing the smile on Christine's face and I enjoyed getting to know their family and friends a little bit better. Everyone was so sweet, including me in conversations and thanking me for my help.

I didn't  bother changing out of my dress when I finally got home on Sunday. Instead, I made a stop at Kroger to buy some stuff for Sunday night dinner. I knew Lauren wasn't going to be home, so I bought Sam her favorite flowers (sunflowers) and cooked dinner for the two of us- teriyaki marinated chicken, sautéed squash and zucchini, and red skin potatoes. It was delicious, if I do say so myself, and I had enough leftover to eat again tonight for dinner when I volunteer at Gilda's Club.

Sam and I watched A Cinderella Story and the Teen choice awards last night, like we were 16 year old girls. Sometimes you just have to do that, ya know? Sobbed during Lea Michelle's acceptance speech. (Who didn't?) Eventually Lauren came home and the three of us chatted and sat in the dark for a while, giggling. I was still wearing my dress from the shower at 10 pm. I almost slept in it. Hey, it was comfy!

Although it was a go go go weekend and I was barely even home, I enjoyed it. I am surrounded by love and by good people. I have reasons to smile and be grateful. I am blessed.

Christine and Paul at the shower. Aren't they cute?

Christine and I looking happy happy!

A different angle of Christine and I

Our fabulous table decorations. I'm proud of us!

Wedding Countdown: 47 days! I still have to get my shoes, get my dress altered, and finish my speech. Plus we have the bachelorette party over Labor Day weekend.

broke, but not broken

Raise your hand if you love weddings.

Hi, my name is Megan, and I have an addiction to weddings. I get all giddy when I talk about them, about my favorite parts of each wedding I've been too. I would go to a wedding every weekend if I could. They are so magical. So full of love.

This past weekend my friend Betsy got married to the love of her life Mike. It was a beautiful wedding, and a great time. To be honest I was a little nervous about going. I didn't know many people going, and I get shy and awkward in front of new people. But it turned out to be a great night. Betsy looked stunning, the weather was perfect, the food was delicious, and the company was a plus. I made so many new friends, I danced the entire night, and  laughed so hard it hurt with my best friend Sam. And, an extra special added plus, I was reunited with my sweet friend Dana. I haven't seen Dana since I was 19 years old. She was a senior at WMU when I was a freshmen, and she was one of my best friends and role models. I have a very special place in my heart for D Rog; I'll never forget what a good friend/big sister she was to me in college. She really made an impact on my life. Loved seeing her, hated saying goodbye again.

There were many hi-lights of the evening, but rather than list of all of them, I gotta say the coolest part is that they are all centered around the same thing: love. Love for Betsy and Mike, the love they have for each other, love for my best friend Sam and for Dana, love of music and dancing, love of making connections with people, love of laughing. I've got the biggest smile on my face just thinking of all the love that surrounded us yesterday and this morning as we shared breakfast and swapped stories of the evening.

I made the trek to Holland solo, so I had plenty of time by myself in the car to just sit and think. (well, and drive). I was a bit sleepier this morning, but on the way there I was totally in tune with my thoughts, my fears, ideas, frustrations. I have a lot going on in my life right now. A lot of worries, a lot of things bringing me down. And it frustrates me to the core that I am stuck here, that as hard as I try I'm still in the same place of general unhappiness and dissatisfaction. I know many of you are saying- then do something about it! I'm trying. But I'm not getting very far. I know I have to place my trust in my faith that everything is going to be okay, that life is unfolding as it should, but then the other side of me doesn't believe that, and freaks out about it. I have to find a happy medium. And I know all of this sounds a bit depressing and confusing, but simply, I am not really where I want to be. I want to be able to buy groceries without worrying that I'll overdraft my account. I want to be able to pay off all my debts and bills. I want to get paid justly for the amount of work that I do. I want to have more time. I want to be more motivated. I want guys to stop being jerks. I want dating to be easier. I want LIFE to be easier. I know, it doesn't work that way. I know, almost every other 20 something is feeling the same way. But that doesn't make it easier or less frustrating.

I'm sorry that I took a happy topic and suddenly turned it into Megan's monthly whine session, but I had to let that out. I know that I have friends and family who read this blog who care deeply for me and are praying for me, and for that I am most grateful. Things are going to get better. They have to. I have to make some changes in my life, many of which are pretty much beyond my control. So I will take a deep breath, work hard, pray, and let God lead me to where I need to be.

Have a good week.