Wednesday, August 26, 2015

Up and Down and Up and Down

My energy level is quite low right now so please excuse me if this blog lacks pizzazz! 

So, I've hit a point in the weight loss where I just keep going up and down. Which has happened a few times during this journey, but it's especially frustrating now because I am just 7 lbs away (most days) from my goal weight. Some have told me that I'll be battling these 7 lbs the rest of my life, that most likely my body has already decided it's in maintenance mode and that I'll be going up and down like this forever. My answer? Too bad. I'm sorry if you feel like this is it, body, but it's not. I just want to see that number on the scale. Then we can play roller coaster. Please, let me get these last 7 down without you interrupting me. We've got a lifetime of going up and down, let me reach that goal. 

Part of me also feels like this CAN'T be it. I can't have just reached where I need to be. Where's my confetti and trophy? It can't just "end" quietly, right? I mean come on! This has been two years and 3 months of hard work. I can't just say "well I guess that's it". 

Then there is the part of me that knows I will never be "done". As daunting and frustrating as that may seem, it's true. I will need to continue to work out, eat healthy, track my calories. I'll need to be careful. Partly because I don't want to ever go back to my old habits, partly because I am terrified to gain weight back, and partly because... Well, I actually enjoy living life this way. So if I'm enjoying it and I'm healthy, why go back?

So I guess you could say I'm a bundle of mixed emotions right now. I am back to being exactly 7 lbs away from my goal and with the pattern, I'll go back up again, then lose it. My goal is to break this pattern and drop those last 7 lbs. I'm  trying some new tactics to help me get there, like not eating a few hours before bed, but I'm still stuck. Any advice/tips appreciated!

Also, when I do reach that magic number, I'm not sure what will happen. Don't get me wrong, I'll be excited. Overjoyed. Incredibly thrilled and relieved. beaming with pride But then I have a feeling a May get a little sad, because nothing will ACTUALLY happen. Life will go on as normal. Is that at all slightly depressing to anyone else? Probably not....but as I mentioned up above, when you work SO hard for something and then it's just... Over...there's a feeling of emptiness that comes along. No one wants you about this when you start a weight loss journey! 

Sorry to be a downer guys, just slightly frustrated. But I keep working hard! My health remains my top priority and I'm not stopping !

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