Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Weight Loss Wednesday

Here I am wearing the same outfit. You'll notice the sweater si too big now, where before it was a bit snug. Also, I've lost a bit in my chest area.
You guys. I managed to go on vacation, drink a couple glasses of wine, eat fries, and still did not gain weight! I actually LOST weight! I am down 57 lbs total. I am so proud of myself! I worked out almost every day of the trip and made fairly good choices throughout the week. I only had one "cheat meal", which was a fried shrimp sandwich on buttered bread and fries. I did have fries a couple times during other meals, but always ordered my fish grilled and usually swapped the fries for a veggie or baked potato. I'd say the hardest part was snacking. It is so easy to chow down on snacks on the beach. I was careful, grabbing a handful of cashews here and there. Luckily I packed healthy snacks, so I usually went for those. Another thing? I craved sweets MUCH more than I do at home. I wanted ice cream, candy, chocolate- anything! But I only ate ice cream twice, and once was one of this mini Ben and Jerry's. I am quite proud of how I did on this trip.

But I do have to share something with you guys. At one point during the trip, I had a pretty rough night. It all started because I saw a picture of myself from the beach in my bathing suit. And I hated the way I looked. I was embarrassed and felt disgusting. I began to cry, and wondered if I would EVER like the way I look, if I will ever feel confident and appreciate my body. Luckily, My parents were there for the breakdown. And they assured me that I looked fine, that I need to remember how far I have come, and that I should be proud of myself. My mom joked that NO woman looks good in a bathing suit. And the very next day? There was an article on Thought Catalog about how bathing suits are the worst article of clothing ever. I began to feel a little bit better.

I know I will have those moments again. But I also know I can push past them. I can look at before and after pictures like the one above and see how far I have come.

Speaking of........

The other day I was cleaning out an old purse and found this receipt:

That is a real receipt from almost exactly a year ago. I purchased a hot dog and a peanut butter bash sundae from DQ. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just a one time, indulgent snack. But that trip through the dairy queen drive through was a weekly, sometimes twice weekly, ordeal. If it wasn't Dairy Queen, it was McDonald's or Wendy's or a snack from the work vending machine. And then I'd come home and have a full dinner, usually paired with a couple glasses of wine. And then I'd snack for the rest of the evening.

That is so not me anymore. I am human and have temptations, but I can't tell you the last time I swung through a drive thru just because I wanted a snack. My portion sizes are much smaller and my choices are healthier. Instead of constantly thinking about food and where I will get my next treat from, I am thinking about work or Tom or the gym. When it comes to food I think about the dinner I have waiting at home or which veggies I need to pick up from the store for my newest recipe.

Finding that receipt was an eye opener, and a deep realization of how far I have come with my relationship with food.

It has been almost a full year since I began this journey. I don't have the exact date, but it was sometime in late May/early June. A lot changes in a year!

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