I don't have a weigh in this week.. And here is why:
I've been in bed since 9:30 last night. I have only gotten up to use the bathroom, refill my water and make myself a bowl of soup for lunch.
Here's what happened. I caught a little cold a few weeks ago, but I thought I was on the mend. Truth is, I pushed myself too hard and didn't get much rest. Plus, I spent over an hour shoveling snow Saturday and that threw me into a deep hole. By Monday I was coughing so much I thought my lungs were going to fall out.
I made a trip to the doctor Tuesday night and they determined I had a sinus infection and bronchitis. They gave me augmentin and cough syrup with codeine. This is the second time I've had this little gem of an illness in 4 months.
I haven't had food that wasn't soup or toast since Sunday. I'm exhausted, both from being up coughing and now the codeine flowing through my body. Every so often I breathe in and hear the fluid in my chest. I have no energy left.
It's not fun, to say the least.
But laying here in my bed, consumed in my own thoughts, I am at peace. I recognize all the love surrounding me and I embrace it. I realize that my suffering is no where near what others have to deal with. I look back and see how far I've come, how strong I am. How happy I am. That I have been given a beautiful life.
I hate being told not to work out and I don't like not having energy, because I feel useless. I want to get out and do something important today. But I can't, and I realize that I must take care of myself and be the healthiest that I can be so that I CAN get out there and do something important.
I hope you're all taking care of yourselves too. You don't have to be sick like me to take a day of rest. Take the time to care for you. Whether it's mental or physical, you need to be in your best shape. You deserve to be in your best shape. You are no good to others if you are not being good to yourselves.
On a some what related note, this week is eating disorder awareness week. I am recovering from food addiction, as most of you read about a few blogs back. Food addiction/compulsive overeating is an eating disorder that gets overlooked. Instead , we are labeled "fat and lazy". It's actually very mental, just like any other mental illness. I say if am recovering because I am. I have not binged in 5 months. I've wanted to, but overcame temptation. But every day is a battle.
Since being on my weight loss journey I have had to keep my emotions in check so that I don't go down the slippery slope. If I do a weigh in and I have not lost any weight, for a brief moment I consider giving up and going to binge, or the opposite of starving myself. But I pis those ugly thoughts away, because neither one will make me healthy.
If you think you may be suffering from an eating disorder, please seek help immediately. If you think a friend or family member may be, get them help. They may deny it or get angry with you, but screw it. Get them help anyways.
I will be back next week with a weigh in. Hopefully by then I'll be feeling better, and will be back at the gym and eating normal meals!