My pants are too big. Like, almost falling off of me big. I used to be able to wear my black capri's without pulling them up, now I worry they are just gonna drop. I can't afford new clothes right now, so I am going to have to get creative.
I am down 13 lbs total. I can't wait to hit that 15 lb mark! I also can't wait to go back to my doctor. I know she's going to be so proud.
I wanted to talk about something that hit the news this week. A 14 year old girl was shopping in Rue 21 for perfume when she was asked to leave because she was "too fat". The store has sort of responded, saying they are aware of the situation and working to figure out exactly what happened.
Although I have never been asked to leave a store, I have been in this situation before. Except I never told anyone...until now.
Oddly enough, it was the same store. Rue 21. I was 15 and shopping with my friends. They were all trying clothes on and I was waiting for them, pretending to look interested in the jewelery but really just anxious to get out of there. It was obvious I was waiting, my friends kept coming out to show me stuff and I'd mutter "cute" and tap my feet. I knew I couldn't fit in the clothes so there was no point to me trying. One of the employees, who was not much older than me at the time, came over and actually said, outloud "Sucks to be the fat one, huh?". I swear to you, she said that. I was mortified. I didn't even respond to her, I just walked away and waited for my friends. I've hated that store ever since.
I always hated shopping with my friends. Always. They were smaller than me. I wasn't even that overweight in high school- I gained most of my weight in college- but I was bigger than them, with broad shoulders, wide hips, etc. I could not fit into clothes at Rue 21, Express, or Abercrombie, which were all stores my friends loved. I had to pretend like I just didn't want to buy anything. I told people I didn't want to spend money or that I didn't like anything in the store. In reality, it was that they didn't fit me. And I wasn't going to ask my friends if we could go to Old Navy or Torrid because they actually carried my size. I just stood back and went along with it.
This is something that has continued through my adult life. Even now, I don't shop at most of the same stores my friends do. But again, I'm not gonna be the girl that says "you guys go ahead and go into Express, I'm going to Lane Bryant". It's embarrassing. I already know I'm the big girl, I don't need to make a point of expressing it.
The thing is though, feeling awkward/embarrassed about not fitting into clothes is my own issue. My weight is mine, no one else's. So not fitting into clothes is not the problem here. It's the fact that someone said something to me, and someone said something to this little girl too. WE KNOW. We know we can't fit into your clothes. You do not need to point it out!
I was 15 when a store employee actually pointed it out to me. As if I needed another reminder. I never told anyone, not even my parents. It hurt my feelings terribly, and I always feel like it's going to happen again, but I never said anything. My story did not make news headlines. It happened, and it sucked.
It happens all the time, people. I feel horribly for this little girl, all she was trying to do was spend her birthday money. And the fact that they asked her to leave is disgusting. It's discrimination. It's wrong.
I know this is sort of off topic from my usual weight loss Wednesday post, and a rant rather than an inspirational post, but I hope it at least made you think, or helped someone who has also been in this position.
September Weight Loss Journey Goals
-No alcohol (yep. Changing it to ALL of September except 9/28.)
-No fries (something Sam and I are doing together).
-Get too 100 lbs on the row machine
-30 full minutes on the elliptical
-5.5 miles on the bike