This is the first year I've ever been in a relationship with someone on Valentine's Day. So yes, I'm excited and a little giddy. But last year, when I was not in a relationship, I wrote a blog that was just as giddy and happy. In that blog, I said "So to anyone feeling unloved today- you are not unlovable. The guy/gal of your dreams hasn't found you yet. They will. Love does not discriminate. Love comes in many ways. You will find someone who will love you the way you are and want to spend every moment with you. I promise. I have a big heart, and it's sending love to each and every single person who I have ever known. May your days be filled with peace, humor, love, and blessings. May you find the person you are supposed to be and may you learn to love yourself, love others, and love life."
I meant that, you know. And I know how hard this "holiday" can be. Trust me, it was hard for me for 24 years. I get that you feel a little lonely, you hate seeing flowers and candy, and you wish you had someone to spend the evening with. I know what that's like. But I also know that just because you're alone on Valentine's day does not mean you are not worthy of love or that you have to be sad. Allow yourself 10 minutes of sadness, and then do something for yourself. Go get a manicure, watch a trashy tv show, eat a big burger, talk to a friend on the phone for hours and laugh your heart out. Taking care of yourself and loving/celebrating who you are are the most important things that you can do.
I'm going to be selfish and talk about me for a second, and then I'll get back to my point. Maybe. But I just wanted to say that people come around when you least expect it. Most of you know by now that Derrick and I met on a dating website (and if you didn't know that, now you do). The irony is that I was going on that site to delete it. I was sick of it, and wanted to give it a rest and stop pressuring myself to be in a relationship. When I logged in to deactivate my account, there was a message from him. I gave him a shot, we talked for a week and then went on our first date. Immediately I was comfortable around him. To know how important that is to me, you should know a little about me, how anxious I get with new people, my fear of relationships, etc. But with him it was different, and he is one of the sweetest guys I've ever known. We're only two months in, it's still new, it's still fun and fresh and exciting. We've already overcome a little blip and I know that things will keep coming our way. But I also know that right now, I am happier than I have been in a long time. I know that he makes me laugh so hard I cry and that he treats me well. (yes, ladies, these gentlemen still exist!) I do not know what our future holds but I don't focus on our future. There's no point in that. We're still young. Taking it moment by moment, day by day. And I am loving those moments.
I didn't tell you that to be overly sappy or gross, I told you that to say- good guys do come around. Most of the time when you least expect it. Don't hunt for them. Just be the beautiful you that you are, live your life the way YOU want to live it, and someone will come around that appreciates everything about you. I promise.
This Thursday celebrate YOU. Love YOU. Hold the people around you close and tell them how much you love them. Do not dwell on what you don't have- love what you do have.
Happy Valentine's Day. And while I'm at it, Happy Lent. After tonight I'm off facebook and twitter for 40 days and focusing on prayer, writing, and reading. You know how to get a hold of me. I'll still be blogging so please check back here when you can.
Hugs and Kisses.