baby, it's only life

You guys, I’m happy.

I know that may seem cheesy, or maybe even irrelevant…but the thing is, it has been such a long time since I have been this genuinely happy. That makes me proud of myself. I’ve struggled with internal happiness for so long, and this just feels right..it feels free.

I had a great weekend, which is partly why I’m so happy right now. But it’s more than that. It’s knowing that I have one of the hardest jobs I may ever have in life, but also being so fulfilled. Anyways, you’ll hear all about that when the school year officially ends, so let’s talk about my weekend.

Friday I was exhausted, seemed it was the most tired I have been in a very long time. So, I made baked spaghetti and watched Rent. I could watch that movie every day. We had to turn it off toward the end because there was an intense summer storm.

On Saturday I woke up early and took four students to Beverly Hills for the Walk for Lupus. Three of those students were “my girls”. They are the three girls I’m closest too as far as interests and (usually) mature conversation. They each have something very special in them that reminds me of myself in high school, so I feel strongly connected to them. The other student was a boy in their class who wanted to come out and support. The reason we did the Walk for Lupus was because one of the girls lost her mother to Lupus when she was just a baby. She recently did a presentation for her English class on Lupus, because she is passionate about raising awareness for it. She came to me and asked me to help her find ways to be involved. I did some research and discovered that there was a walk coming up, so I offered to go with her. We set a goal of raising $100 and invited other students with us. We ended up raising $180. The joy on her face on Saturday made the early morning, chauffer service, and chaperone duties more than worth it. I could just see how happy she was to be honoring her mama in that way. She was decked out in purple and gave us facts on the disease. She wants to keep doing it every year, and I sincerely hope that she is able to do so. I took the students out for lunch afterwards, and really enjoyed spending time with them on a different level. They shared anxieties about the end of the school year and laughed together about some of our favorite memories from the past year. I didn’t get home until 4 pm or so, but it was a day I will never forget.

When I got home, I was exhausted, so I laid down for a while…later, we went over to a friends house. It was a very casual, laid back evening but there were good people and good times. I am constantly amazed by the number of young, enthusiastic people in this city who are SO PASSIONATE about trying to turn it around. It really gives me hope…the people we were with on Saturday night are a prime example. I love making new friends with people my age who put faith and social justice very high on their priority list. It helps me to know how “right” all of this is…if that makes sense…like, every time I meet a new person with the same values and goals as me, I know “yep, this is where I’m supposed to be”. It is such an awesome feeling! It stormed really bad again last night (there was a tornado just south of us!), and getting home was a little scary, but I passed out as soon as I hit my bed!

Today was just lovely. Woke up and went to Church with Katie and Nate, and then we grabbed E&L Taco’s (the best taco’s..ever). Then I picked up Dean and Hannah for an afternoon of fun. First we stopped by my sister’s house so I could borrow some carry on luggage, and we chatted with them for a few minutes. Then we headed to a co workers house for drinks, food, and conversation. It was so much fun! We ended up talking about our students for 95% of the conversations…our frustrations, funny stories, sad stories, etc. It’s always interesting to hear other perspectives and gain insight/advice. I LOVE my co-workers, by the way. They are such great, supportive people! I had a really wonderful time with them.

So, that was my great weekend. Tomorrow morning I am making an announcement to the student body on how well the students represented us at the Walk for Lupus, and then encouraging them to find ways to get involved with causes they are passionate about. I don’t know if they realize how many opportunities they have to make a difference!

Okay, so, TEN DAYS until I see Kate Voegele/ Jordin Sparks. I am seriously ECSTATIC. They are two of my favorite female artists. I haven’t seen either of them in two years and cannot believe how lucky I am that they are touring together. Kate is amazing, love her folk/singer songwriter mixed with pop. Jordin is just outstanding, and I miss that girl SO MUCH. I’ve been watching videos of her tour so far, and I seriously think I might cry when I hear her live again. I am just so incredibly proud of her. It’s always so amazing to see an artist you have supported since the very beginning of their career….Jordin is one of those for me. When I see how far she has come since Idol it gives me goosebumps…plus, of course, all the amazing things she has done for me, friends, and my family. She gave Laurence the MAD award…and infact, I have family members writing her thank you letters.

Okay, clearly I’m excited because I just spent way too much time on that. ANYWAYS. Remember how for Spill Canvas I listened to an album a night before their show and posted lyrics? Well I want to do that for Kate/Jordin…but I won’t have time to do it consistently with my transition retreat coming up. So, tonight I did Kate’s first album, and I’ll do her second one before I leave. Enjoy.

Kate Voegele: Don’t Look Away

I’ve seen your act, I know all the facts, I’m still in love with you I wish you were here

I dream days away but that’s okay

Don’t keep me up to the dawn with those words that keep leading me on…baby I know much better than to wait for an answer from you

Well don’t be shy; I’ve got an open heart and hand

They say you’ve got a hold on me…and I won’t disagree

Took me for granted, Planted thorns in this garden of mine..What are the chances? My hope has died

Well I should know so much better than this, but you’ve occupied the center of my universe I hate myself for loving you, I turn my head away, But my heart will remain, 'Till the day I learn you're No Good for me

Continual irresolution keeps me shackled to the ground, And I’ve been in dire need of revolution For far too many days to count….I thought I was safe in the Hiding Place …But it sure is exhausting, livin' in chains…It’s paradoxical in every way…Nothin' makes sense I can’t tell love from hate...

Well I'm not the type who gets voted most likely to be victimized by those old butterflies, But you're the exception, Your love is infectious, I hope it’s alright if you’re still mine when we’re older, cuz I won’t spend another day wondering what might have been.

The end of the world, it seems…you bend down and you fall on your knees, well get back on your feet. Don’t look away, don’t run away, baby it’s only life…don’t lose your faith, don’t run away, baby it’s only life.

Don’t be so afraid of facing every day, just take your time, it’s only life

Well excuse me for wanting to be the one and only lock to fit your key, You're like a splinter, just killing me slowly from inside.The piercing winter is so much more inviting than the stare in your eyes

I suddenly realize...that you could never find a place for me in your eyes

And wouldn't I love just to rise above this? You've gotta believe I've suffered enough to be free, so I'm officially leaving, just kiss on the cheek and I'm gone