Thanks For the Memories

I fully admit to having a slight addiction to social media. I love to see what my friends are posting, to keep up with the news and celebrities in such a quick, efficient way. Social Media has made it so much easier for us to connect- even if it's through a screen.

I'm also very nostalgic person. I celebrate really silly anniversaries, I remember dates well, I look through old cards and letters often. So you can imagine, then, that I am a big fan of the Timehop app, as well as the Facebook Memories feature. Those are the first two things I check in the morning. I love to see what I was doing a year ago. I smile as I scroll past the pictures and the tweets and the funny conversations.

But sometimes, those apps can leave me in a funk. It reminds me of people who have passed away, of darker times in my life, and of friends whom I no longer speak to. Usually, I can take the attitude of "yes, that was hard, but look! you got through it!". Other times, though, it just makes me feel sad. I start to dissect what went wrong, and then I start to blame things on myself. It's not the healthiest attitude.

I also can't help but wonder if the people in those memories are reading the same thing I am. And if they are, what are they thinking? Are they sad our friendship ended? Do they have negative feelings towards me? Are they wondering about me? Are they wondering if I am wondering about them? I have, at times, thought about reaching out to those people. But I always hang back. I tell myself that the friendship ended for a reason.  That may sound harsh, but trust me, in some cases, it's best to appreciate what we had at the time and let it go at that. But there are the others who I certainly could reach out to. They were and still are good people.  And I easily can reach out, with social media. But I don't. Why is that? Maybe I'm afraid of what they will say...or what they won't say. I'm really not sure what holds me back.

This post is not insightful by any means, and I'm not here to offer and solutions or advice. It's simply been on my mind, and I thought others could relate. These apps, like most things in life, have two sides.

What are your thoughts on apps like Timehop and the Facebook Memories?

Meghan Tonjes

If you read HelloGiggles or The Huffington Post or Perez Hilton, you've probably read the story about Meghan Tonjes, Youtube star, and her bum on Instagram.

If you haven't, let me sum it up. Meghan, who, like me, is on a weight loss journey, posted a picture of herself in her underwear. The picture was to show her progress, but also a statement from Meghan of how comfortable she is with her body and how much she loves her curves. The picture didn't bother me one bit. But it bothered someone, because it was reported and Instagram removed the picture for "nudity".

Meghan then made a video, basically questioning Instagram's actions. Because here's the deal- there are butts on Instagram ALL. THE. TIME. Why was Meghan's taken down? Because she's plus sized. At least, that is what we can assume. I see no other reason why Meghan's picture would be reported, while there are THOUSANDS of pictures on Instagram that are much more inappropriate than the one she posted.

Now, Meghan has been all over the blogs and news sites for her courageous, brave video. It has started several discussions. Instagram has since apologized, stating it was a "mistake". The picture is back up- but they only apologized after Meghan was featured on CBS, Perez, Huffington Post, etc. Hmm. Curious, eh?

This leads me to ask you all. Why are we so damn judgmental of people who are considered overweight? Why is it a problem for us curvy folks to be proud of our bodies? Why can't we post pictures of ourselves, too? Why should we have to be ashamed?

We shouldn't. Meghan has said again and again in previous videos and pictures how proud she is of her body and her curves. Yet, the rest of society deems her "inappropriate". Give me a freaking break.

Now, if you scroll through the comments on Meghan's video, you will see a lot of people thanking her. But you will also see disturbing comments from others, like this one:

Why would you want to post your disgusting body over the Internet? go lose some weight it's unhealthy and stop trying to encourage it.

Or this one:

Sorry, but I'm with Instagram on this one. I don't want to see your fat ass anymore than a lot of other people do.

Or this one:

If you abused the treadmill as much as your camera, you wouldn't have this problem in the first place.

Or this one:

Just lose weight..you are really fat..why cant you understand it??

The people who left these comments probably don't know that Meghan IS on a weight loss journey. Which is what makes their comments so obnoxious. She's lost about 70 lbs and has posted about her journey online. She WANTS to be healthy and has done a hell of a job. So who are these people to tell her that she needs to lose weight? Why do they think they can tell her she's "disgusting" ? 

This is a real problem. We need to stop telling people what they should look like. I am a fan of good health. I believe that all of us should be healthy. But to tell someone, who is already working hard to get there, that they are disgusting, is just wrong. We need to start accepting people as who they are. We need to stop being uncomfortable with bodies that are not "normal" in our eyes. We need to stop thinking that OUR view of beautiful and healthy is the ONLY view of beautiful and healthy.

Meghan sums it up best at the end of her video when she says "I'm sorry that I make you uncomfortable, but my body is not an apology". 



Meghan Tonjes is a singer songwriter originally from Michigan. She now lives in LA where she writes and plays music and makes weekly Youtube videos. Meghan has been featured on Ellen to speak up against bullying. She has a gorgeous voice. I have been following her Youtube videos since 2011 and support her on Patreon, which means I get new music from her each month. She is a fantastic singer, an intelligent and beautiful woman. Check out her Youtube channel for covers, original songs, Q & A's, and more. 

Life Savers

I, like most of us labeled "millennial", love social media. I find it fascinating.

Very often on social media, I see young teens, specifically girls, claiming that celebs and stars "saved their life". I cringe a little when I read that. But, I do admit, I used to be one of those girls. I am 100% confident that I have said those exact words on numerous occasions about songs, lyrics, singers, books. In fact, I probably said this somewhat recently. You won't hear me say it anymore, though. I have realized the truth.

I saved my own life.

And girls, only you are capable of saving your own life. Give yourself some credit. You are much stronger than you ever realize.

I am not saying it's impossible that these celebs/singers/youtubers/whoever have inspired you. Maybe they said or sang something that hit home or made you feel less lonely. But they did not save your life. You did that. Perhaps they gave you the push or the drive that you needed, but the saving was all on your own.

We should not rely on anyone, famous or not famous, to fix us or to save us. When we do that, we put them on a pedestal, we begin to idolize them and think they can do no wrong. We think everything they do is an act of God, and that they are perfect. And then maybe they do something that lets us down, and our whole world crashes.

YOU are the reason that you are still here. You are the reason you stopped self harming. You made the smart, and conscious decision, to begin to live your life in peace and to stop listening to those stupid voices in your head that try to tell you you're not good enough. Kiddo, you are more than good enough. You are worthy of love. You are worthy of SELF love.

If you have overcome depression, self harm, or suicidal thoughts, I give you a huge standing ovation. That is a major accomplishment. You should be proud, you have been so brave and fought hard. But please, don't give a celebrity all of the credit. Recognize the strength in yourself, and give yourself a pat on the back. You did it. You are a life saver of your very precious life. Take care of it from now on. Be gentle.