Ever since hitting the 100 lbs mark, I've had crazy ups and downs with the weight loss. There were weeks where I was working over 40 hours and driving crazy distances, so my focus slipped. There were a couple weeks where I was sick. There was a week of vacation.
I am pretty surprised, and thankful, that I did not gain weight on vacation. I went for a couple runs, and I was fairly careful with my meals and snacking, but I was not as strict as I was last year and was pretty convinced I'd come back with a gain. Glad that my body worked with me.
So now I'm back, healthy, and working a normal schedule. Things should begin to kick into gear. I have a doctor's appointment next week, and she and I can hash out a goal weight for me and then it will be time to plan the maintenance phase. For now, I'm pushing myself to work harder, run faster, burn more calories, turn away from temptation and stay motivated.
Last night I took a pretty intense cardio kickboxing class. It's a full 60 minutes of cardio. Between punching the bag with different combinations, you do jumping jacks, squats, burpees, etc. There's no stopping. The last time I took a class like this was a little over a year ago, and I had to stop early because I couldn't finish. This time, I completed the entire class and was almost surprised at how good I was feeling. Sweaty, tired, but good. My friend Donna calls things like that "non scale victories": celebrating positive changes that do not involve the scale. I plan on doing more of those classes. My kickboxing class at the Y is great, and my favorite class that I take, but it's not the same level of intensity. It does a better job with technique and skill, though.
At the end of the class last night, the instructor gave us some inspiration. He said that he pushes us (and trust me, he does push) because he knows it's what we want, otherwise we would not have come. He also said that this is the best time to get in the best shape of our lives, because time does not care about us and if we don't do it now, if we keep pushing it off, we will regret it.
It really got me thinking, as I was drenched in sweat, about my whole journey. I think one of the biggest changes my weight loss journey has brought for me is my DESIRE to be healthier. I now see my body as a vessel. Although my mind and my heart make up who I am, I need my body to be healthy in order to accomplish my dreams- heck, I need my healthy body to accomplish my daily tasks. And now that I so clearly see and feel what a difference it makes to be healthy, it is imperative that I STAY healthy.
One of my beliefs is that we were each created for a very unique reason. Cliche as it may seem, I do believe that God has a plan for each of us. And in order to live out that plan, I need to treat my body with the love and care that it deserves, and that it needs to thrive. Am I perfect? No. I make mistakes every day. But my overall attitude and practice is that health comes first.
Another big change? I've forgotten what it feels like to be sad. Like, really, truly sad. 2 years ago, it was the opposite. I had forgotten how to be happy. But now I can't imagine that feeling of sadness taking over and paralyzing you, like it did so many times before. I have my moments, of course. But I no longer feel like sadness is constantly weighing on me.
Sending so much love to all of you this week.