But I am also at a weight that's still considered "obese" according to the CDC and several other medical sites. Which sort of feels like a giant stab in the heart. After all this hard work, I'm STILL not where I need to be. I still have about 45 lbs to lose to be considered "healthy", and even that is pushing it.
It's also scary to know that if I'm "obese" now, what the heck was I before? Is there a term for that?
But it also makes me grateful. Thank God I decided to do something about my weight. It was spriling out of control and who knows what would have happened if I had continued to gain weight. I never want to feel that way again....never want to have those headaches or to feel out of breath going up a flight of stairs or to have heart palpitations. I never want to feel that tired and run down. Ever. Again.
So I won't. I will look back at how far I've come and I won't let the burden of knowing I still have work to do keep me from doing it. I will work hard, harder than I've ever worked.
One thing I get a lot from family and friends who haven't seen me in a while is "I never realized how tall you were". I've always been tall. I'm 5'10. My friends ask me to reach for stuff because I have long arms. But the difference is that I wasn't carrying myself like a tall person. I was ashamed, hunched over, hiding. I didn't want to be seen and tall people are easy to spot. Now, I walk with pride. I have learned to love my body. I am not ashamed, and I don't need to hide. Even though the CDC still calls me obese, I don't see myself that way. I see someone who has accomplished so much and inspired many. I see someone who has become alive again.