I'm scared. Yes, I know I WILL find a job. Yes, I know everyone else is in the same boat. Yes, I know God has a plan for me.
I know all of these things, I really do...but I'm still scared. I don't like looking into the future and having it be completly empty. Some people find that exciting, a new adventure, I find it terrifying.
I'm negative because I'm sick of being rejected, I'm negative because I'm sick of complaining about it...but it is ALL that it is on my mind. So, my apologies if I am negative, cranky, etc. I'm just having a hard time stepping away from stressing.
Between that stress and an EXTREMLY rough week last week, I needed a distraction tonight. Since I am seeing my favorite band (The Spill Canvas) of all time on Friday, I'm going to celebrate/prepare by listening to an album a night before the concert. Tonight was their first album, Sunsets and Car Crashes. Here are my favorite lyrics from that album.
And in case you were wondering, you are like a sunset to me. You’re all kinds of beautiful as you end my day.
The beauty lies in how you will revive me soon.
How does it feel to know you’re everything I need?
Oh I adore the way you carry yourself, with the grace of a thousand angles overhead.
Just you and I in the sweet unknown, we can just call each other our home. If I had to choose a way to die, it’d be with you…in a goose bump infested embrace, with my over anxious hands cupping your face.
Your picture at my hands, I’m crying at the mercy of your photograph.
With you I’m truly in my element, my element with you.
I hope you never forget the tapping at your window, the harsh cold and the jealousy running through my bones.
I would like to thank you for showing me a part of myself that I had never seen.
My secret is fatally gorgeous: I’d die for you.
The ceremony was not proper, there was not enough people...and who picked the music, those melodies almost made me physically sick.
I am the bracelets you sport; I am everything that you have ever missed, and more.
This is redundant, but I think it bears repeating… I think I’ve found my other half.
Heaven’s not a place that you go when you die; it’s that moment in life when you actually feel alive, so live for the moment now.
Tonight ill sit and pick apart your pictures, and overanalyze your words...the truth is I’ve never fallen so hard.
So don’t go worrying about me, it’s not like I think about you constantly..so maybe I do, but that shouldn’t affect your life anymore.
Could someone please show me the kind of affection you only see in the movies?
I know you never meant to do everything you put me through, that’s okay, I forgive you. Just know that when you see me cringe sometimes, I’m trying to rid the poison from my mind.
In a confident fashion, I will admit my deepest and darkest to her.
Which you like to go inside and forget the world and the rules by which we are to abide?
Brash and hopeful that my luck will not perish tonight…
Consider this song a testament of my devotion to your secreting scent, and to be completely honest, you’ren ot like all the rest