I wanna let you know, I'll never let you go

This post is going to be all over the place, and then I'm posting one on a more serious topic.

There's been talk that one of my students would not be returning to school. Nothing's been official, but she did not show up on Friday, which is her work day. Missing a work day is a big deal, kids rarely do it. Yesterday we didn't have school, so today I stood in the gym waiting anxiously for her to walk through those doors. Nothing. I waited until 3rd hour, when I have her in my class. Nope. Immediatley my heart sank. I think she's really gone. I still have not gotten the official word, but according to a few adults and her best friend, she's gone. Just like that. She's one of the students I have been working the hardest for. We've developed a very close relationship, even though I give her detention 3 or more times a week, she lights up my day. She drives me crazy but I love her. I've considered her a little sister, I always look out for her and push her to be the best person she can be. She came to ME bawling her eyes out last week when things got out of control. She's the kind of kid who wouldn't be caught dead crying, yet she was sobbing in my arms in the middle of the hallway and telling me I'm the only person who cares. Now she's gone. I am going to miss her more than I can tell you, but more than that I am worried about her. I saw her making small changes leading up to this mess but I've got this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach about what kind of trouble she is going to get into when she's not in this safety net. God put this girl in my path for a reason. I don't know what's going to happen but I know that I cared about her, and I'm going to miss her.

Laurence isn't doing so good. They hooked him up to an IV. Everyone is worried about him and trying to find the strength to deal with this situation. My heart goes out to everyone in his family, especially his dad Patrick. I admire Patrick so much. He's been through more than anyone I know and yet remains strong in every situation. It is unbelievable how he is able to overcome all the extreme obstacles he's been through. That man should write a book, I'm telling you. Please continue to pray for Laurence and for his cause, Nothing But Nets. He has raised over $11,000! He's such an inspiration. Please continue to pray for him.

I was in a really negative mood today because of all the stress I'm feeling until I attended Mass with the school. The priest and a co-worker, Fr. Jose, gave an amazing Homily about saying "yes" to whatever God tells you to do. It really helped me understand some of the obstacles that have come up and what exactly I need to do to handle them. There was also a really peaceful moment afer Communion when the music was playing and the room was silent. I sat with my head in my hands praying and thanking God for all the gifts He has giving me. One of my students was sitting next to me and squeezed my hand. It was so cute, especially because she usually has a major tude.

On a completly different note, today's Tuesday, which means new music. I woke up to an amazing surprise: a new Spill Canvas song! Gah. I've been waiting forever! I cannot wait for them to release a new album and tour again. They are perfect. Nick's voice...




Also out today is the new We The Kings album. It's not my fave, the songs are all very similiar to one another...but, it's a good pop rock album and I really like "Promise the Stars" and "Rain Falls Down". There's also a song called "In-and-Out (Animal Style)" which immediatley reminded me of Melinder.

Michael Sarver released two singles today. I'm not liking "Cinderella Girl" (too country for me, I think) but I am in love with "You Are". Such a beautiful song!

Hanson (don't judge until you listen to them, please) released an EP called "Stand Up". It's five tracks of perfect songs. They have a unique sound and amaizng lyrics. I can't really pick a favorite, because they're all amazing, and it was def my favorite release of today...but I have a soft spot for "These Walls".

On an even more completly unrelated note, my Christmas list. First, the unrealistic list.

1) A trip to Nashville.
2) Having every single friend and family member together.
3) A job...okay, I guess this isn't unrealistic...but seriously. Someone hire me come August.
4) To go to the Grammy's.
5) Laurence to be cured so he can live out his mission.

Now, what I would love to get this year.
1) Christmas cards - snail mail, e-mail, video blogs, whatev's. I just love hearing from you beautiful people.
2) Mixed Cd's/song recommendations. I know postage is annoying, no need to mail me cd's. Just comment with new music you think I should hear.
3) Posters! Vintage, art, tour posters, band posters, whatever.
4) Stuff for my vision board: Postcards of Ireland, NYC, and LA. Quotes about writing a book/song. Anything to do with working with kids and making a difference.
5)Donations to the Mercy Volunteer Corps. After everything this program has done for my life, I would greatly appreciate if my friends and family would donate. You can donate right at this link: http://mvc.kintera.org/extendingthecircle/megancarolin

Okay, last thing of this random post is something I wrote a few months ago that never made the cut to the blog. I'm posting it now because it is about my faith and I have been very much in touch with my spirituality latley.

I'm not always where I should be
I don't always follow the path you pave
But you still come to me
You're there in the beautiful faces
Of those around who take my hand
You're in the rain and the wind,
In the struggles that I face
And the fights I win
You give me the answers I need
How glorious are you, who still comes to me
Even when I'm not who I should be.
People tell me I'm special
I know it's because you're with me
You bring me comfort and peace
When all I want to feel is anxiety
You pull me up when I fall down
I don't know where this road is going
But I know that every step of the way
You come to me
Through the people I see, the songs I hear, the words I write
You come to me

<3