Thursday, February 27, 2014


I was just casually eating my dinner today, checking my social media accounts when I noticed I had a comment from DOVE on Instagram. Yes, Dove, like, the soap. 

The comment was under my "no makeup selfie", a campaign run by the Today Show this past Monday. The comment directed me to check my direct messages. I forgot Instagram even had direct messages. When I finally figured out how to check them, here is what I found. 

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe they took the time to HAND WRITE a note to me. I did some digging and I did find some others who received messages, but all of them are different, and personal. They are unique to the kind of pictures each person posts.

It is honestly one of the nicest, sweetest things anyone has ever said to me. And it's a hell of a marketing tool. It led me to follow them on Instagramn and Twitter and to go to their website. So bravo, dove. If this is all for marketing, it worked. 

But I don't really care if they are using me for marketing. It's still a nice thing to do. What Dove is doing by sending me and others these personal, hand written notes is spreading love. They made me feel special, and beautiful.

All along my weight loss journey I have said how I want to inspire others. I want to help other girls like me to know their worth and to see their beauty and potential.

I think Dove and I are on the same track. Way to go, Dove. You have me on your side. Let's keep spreading love and positive thoughts. 

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

I get a little bit stronger.

It's happening.

I am becoming the best version of myself.

I am becoming stronger, healthier, more confident, and braver.

This realization came to life over the past few days when I was at a work conference. Because all though I was a teeny bit shy and timid, I was much stronger and more outgoing than I typically am in Those situations. I shared some things about myself and engaged in conversations.

Last night a group from our office wanted to go out. They invited me, and I desperately wanted to decline. I wanted to, instead, take a hot shower and then crawl into bed with my kindle. I did not want to go out with people I didn't know. But I agreed to go, and I had a really good time. I made some new friends and wasn't afraid to talk. I was shocked. I did head home just a little earlier than everyone else, but only because another gal wNted to leave and didn't want to walk alone.

Then on the drive home, I spoke. I talked about my weight loss and my dad and Tom and Laurence.

Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but to me it's everything. I am overcoming. I am conquering fears and anxieties. I am pushing forward. I am becoming the me I want to become. The old me would have avoided any form of conversation and FOR SURE would not have gone out last night. 

I wanted to share this to share: you can get past your fears. You can get stronger and braver.

Life is exciting. That's all.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Weight loss....Monday

I'm going to be traveling for work this week and since I missed last weeks weight loss Wednesday I wanted to be sure that I posted this week.

Welp. I had to quit Sola. If you have been reading my journey from the beginning you know that Sola was my gym, and, in my humble opinion, the best gym around. I will probably always say that. The tools and resources that they gave me have forever changed my life. The people are incredibly kind, smart, and supportive. My morning workout gals were fun and full of encouragement. When I first joined, I had no idea what to expect. I was so scared of failing. But I began to see results, and I kept going. I hit a few plateaus along the way but the people of Sola helped me get through them. That place will always hold a very special place in my heart.

So now I am a member of my local YMCA. And while it's not quite Sola, it has the same machines, plenty of classes, and a pool. It is also exactly 2 minutes away from my house...which means... I no longer have to wake up at 5am! I don't have to be at work until 8:30, and the gym is just 10 minutes from work. How exciting!

So I bet you wanna know how much weight I've lost.

Things these past couple weeks have been insane. I finally recovered from bronchitis, I started a new job and I joined a new gym. With all of that being said, I did drop a few lbs and that makes a total of 45.5 lbs. 

You guys. I am SO close to 50! I am going to have a celebration dinner when I get there. I am not going to go crazy or do anything stupid, just gonna keep doing what I do.

Someone wanted me to share some recipes on here, and I'll be sure to do that next week. I will compile some of my favorites! 

I want to thank Tom for being a member at Sola with me from July to March. Working out with you in the mornings was the best part of my day. Even though well be in different venues now, you are atill my "oomph". Let's do this!

Sunday, February 23, 2014



It's been a long time since I had a full week in between posts.

This week has been a bit crazy. It was my first week at my new job. I love the job, it's exciting and challenging and full of fun people. I feel like I can actually make a difference and see results. There is a lot I have to learn still, and things were a bit messy when I came on board (computer and HR issues) but I really feel like things are good, and only going to get better.

I suppose I took a quick blogging break because I was feeling pretty overwhelmed with all the "new". And I still am- soon I will get into a routine again and this will be my norm, but right now I am trying to soak everything in.

This weekend I spent a lot of time with my family. I needed that. It was a nice reminder of the ongoing support that they give me as well as the fun we always have when we are together.

I don't have much to say, but I did want to share a little diddy that I wrote yesterday morning.

I could close the blinds

And shut out the noise
But I won't, I won't

I want to let the light in
And hear the sweet sounds

Cuz life still isn't easy
And things still aren't fair

But I can't help it,
I'm smiling,
Cuz it's never been this much fun
To be alive
I could hide inside
And ignore everyone else
But I won't, I won't
I want to walk the streets
Let them see what happy has done for me
Show fear that it doesn't stand a chance
Cuz life isn't easy
And things still aren't fair
But I can't help it,
I'm smiling,
Cuz it's never been this much fun
To be alive

Even though things are crazy busy, and things are certainly far from perfect, I am happy. I am loving life. I am excited. It's a good place to be.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Mental illness

If your friend or family member had cancer or another serious physical health issue, would you ignore it? I would certainly hope not. I would hope you would ask them how they are feeling, both physically and emotionally. I would think you would be there for them, that you'd be willing to hear about the process and walk with them through it?

So what makes mental illness so different?

When a friend tells you they have a mental illness, it's one of the bravest things they can do. So we should not turn our backs on them. We should not ignore it as if it's not really there. We need to embrace it. We need to show that person just as much love and attention that we would anyone else. And when we see they are beginning to slip, we need to step in. Make yourself aware of their illness and be prepared for triggers. When something seems off or not right, ask them. I'm not saying we need to do this every moment of every day. You don't need to text your buddy at 7Am and say "hey, how's that bipolar thing going?" But if you haven't heard from them or you notice their eyes look a little sadder or they seem disengaged or distracted, check in. Consider it a mental health check in. If you were feeling lost and sad, wouldn't you want someone to check in with you?

This world still has so much to learn about mental illness. Being sad for a few days is not depression. Wanting a clean and organized space is not OCD. Getting nervous sometimes is not an anxiety disorder. They can be annoying and inconvenient, but a mental illness is something that affects you every single day. Sometimes, every moment of every day. 

Being paralyzed by fear to the point where you don't want to leave your dark bedroom? That's anxiety. Feeling so sad that you stop going anywhere, cut out most communication, wear the same clothes for weeks, and lay in bed not doing a darn thing but staring at the ceiling? That's depression. Obsessing over something to the point where it is literally all you can think about and you feel like your skin is crawling because you can't stop thinking about it? That may be OCD.

I am not an expert but I am someone who suffers a mental illness. And this is not a cry for you all to check in with me, it is merely an observation I have had for the past several years. 

We need to stop hiding from mental illness. We need to get educated and to start caring more. It's 2014 and all the resources in the world are available to us, yet we continue to pretend like it's not there. 

This is all stemming from the fact that I had a horrible dream today when I took a nap. In that dream, I told someone I was depressed (I'm not, but have suffered depression in my life) and they laughed and said "what else is new" and continued having a conversation with someone else. It scared me how tragically true that scenario could be. I don't think any of my family or friends would ever say something like that, but then again, you'd be surprised some of the things I've heard in my life. So I guess I just wanted to write a risky post about making ourselves more aware and compassionate about mental illness.

Also? Mental illness is not an excuse. It is a legitimate thing. Sometimes people can overcome it, sometimes they can't. But don't you dare call them weak or lazy because their minds don't work the same way yours does. They are fighting a daily battle.

Thursday, February 13, 2014

How They Met.

I had a couple of ideas for Valentine's Day posts, so I went to facebook to ask what topic people wanted to read about. A lot of people wanted all three. Sure, I can do that. So here is topic number one: How my parents met, and how my siblings each met their spouse.

Mom and Dad
I absolutely love the story of how my parents met. Their parents were acquaintances and both families were on vacation in Ft. Walton Beach, FL. My mom was there staying in a condo with some of her friends, and my dad was there with his parents and some buddies. My dad's parents encouraged him to go introduce himself. My dad says his first thought was "Oh great. A bunch of teachers!". After a few drinks, though, he stumbled over and knocked on their door...and my mom was the one to answer. He told them that he and some of his buddies were going to a bar later if they wanted to join. My mom, staring at this tipsy stranger, was not interested. But somehow, she and her friends wound up at that bar. My dad says he told her the name of the bar and that she purposely went there, my mom says he never told her the name of the bar but there were only so many options and that she and her friends were going out anyways. Who do you believe? Personally, I'm on my dad's side here.

 I recently learned that my mom DROVE MY DAD HOME from Florida that year. She had a friend with her, too, but still. Could you imagine if I was in that position? My parents would FREAK if I drove a stranger home with me for FOURTEEN HOURS!

I believe the rest of the story is that a few days after they were back from Florida, my mom went over to my dad's house for lunch. They dated for some time, and eventually he proposed by hiding the ring in a puzzle box.

For as long as I can remember, my family has been going to Ft. Walton Beach. It's pretty cool to know that my parents met there. They have a wonderful relationship. My dad is gentle, sweet, and funny. My mom is generous, passionate, and adorable. I love the two of them with everything I have inside of me!

Maureen and Dave
Mo and Dave are high school sweethearts. They met in the fall of their senior year at a UofD football game through mutual friends. Earlier that day, Dave had told his dad "I am going to find my date to homecoming tonight". When he got home, he reported "I found her!".

They continued to date the rest of their senior year. They went to different colleges though, and had an "off and on" relationship for their four years in school. They dated other people, but always wound up back together. My friends would constantly ask me "is your sister still dating that guy?". And I'd say yes, even if they weren't, because we all knew Mo and Dave were meant to be together.

They were together about 8 years before Dave proposed. And guess where that took place? Ft. Walton Beach. It was just my parents, Mo and Dave that year since Jonathon and I were both in college and couldn't get down there. Dave proposed while walking on the beach after eating diner one night. My dad knew about the whole thing, but my mom did not. I got the call while I was in the computer lab, furiously typing an essay for school. My sister said something like "we're going out to celebrate...because I'm engaged!!!" Since I was in the computer lab I couldn't shriek, but I did gasp and begin to cry because I was so happy for her.

They married in the summer of 2008, just before my senior year of college..and now they have Ryan!

Here are Maureen and Dave in Ft. Walton with Laurence and Patrick. I believe this is the year Dave proposed.

Jonathon and Sara

They met in college. The two of them had mutual friends, and Sara was at Jonathon's house for a party. One of Sara's friends was telling Sara that she wished she had more confidence in guys and Sara was giving her advice. Sara said "Just find what kind of music he likes, and start talking about it." To give an example, Sara decided to try it on Jonathon- even though she really wasn't that interested. She went to his stack of cd's, pulled one out and said "Oh my gosh I love this band!" Jonathon was so impressed that she knew who the band was that they struck up a conversation- except Sara really had no idea who they were, she just played along. That theatre major came in handy!

Even though Sara wasn't interested before, she must have seen something in him because he asked her out on a date and she agreed. They dated through the rest of their college days, and lived together for a while before getting engaged.

Jonathon asked us all to be there to celebrate the engagement. No, it wasn't in Ft. Walton. It was in Indianapolis, where they live. He told Sara that he had an event for his work, Big Brothers Big Sisters, at the college. Since she usually went with him to his events, she didn't think much of it. Until they got to campus and it was empty. She started harassing Jonathon, telling him he must have gotten the date wrong. He reached into his pocket for his phone, to "call his manager", but really reached in and pulled out the ring.

The rest of us-my family, Sara's family, and a few of their close friends, were waiting at a nearby restaurant. Sara obviously had no idea we were all there. It was so fun to see the look on her face- and my brother's. They were so happy..and still are!

Don't worry, they snuck Ft. Walton in there- they went there for their honeymoon :)

JP and Sara in their early days of dating :)

I learned once in a psychology class that your relationships are often influenced by the relationships of those around you. A project I did for that class was to create a family tree, and to describe each relationship in your family. I had nothing but positive things to say. My parents and siblings/siblings in law have all been very influential to me, in a positive way. I truly admire the love that each of them share. It's a beautiful thing :)

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Weight Loss Wednesday

My mind has been so scattered lately, I totally forgot it was Wednesday. Here I was pondering what to write about...silly Megan, it's weight loss Wednesday day!

I have lost 39.4 lbs total. Can we round up to 40? :)

I think I lost most of the weight just because I have been so sick and pretty much just eating soup for a few days. I'm actually still not 100%. I'm much better, and don't feel so tired and achey, but I still have to take Mucinex and do a sinus rinse twice a day. I'm hoping once the weather gets a little warmer, I can kick it. But then of course, I'll probably get spring allergies. I have a doctors appointment in March, and am going to talk to them about my frequent sinus issues. Maybe there is something they can do for me. Or maybe I should be taking Claritin frequently. Someone else suggested acupuncture. Anyone else have any experience with frequent sinus infections?

I didn't work out for a whole week, letting my body fight off the illness. I finally feel okay enough to work out, but I am taking it very easy. Just doing a slow mile walk, 10 slow minutes on the elliptical. I don't want to relapse or damage my lungs. And, of course, I am fueling my body with water. I drink almost double what I am supposed to drink. Just want to flush everything out!

Because I've been taking it easy, I haven't noticed any major changes in my body. However, my clothes are all falling off. I had to get new jeans, and got a size 16. The last time I wore a size 16 jeans, I was 18 years old. I am so excited about this! It thrills me to no end that there is a possbility I won't have to shop at plus size stores anymore. My work pants are all falling off me, and I am getting them altered to fit me better. It's a good problem to have.

My trip to Florida is coming up in a few months and I know all my spring clothes will be too big on me. I will have to shop the deals to get new outfits and a new bathing suit. Like I said, a good problem to have.

I really want to hit the 50 lb mark by my Florida trip.

Lots of love!

Monday, February 10, 2014

Dear Teenage Girls...

Dear Teenage Girls,
I have a lot to say to you. Roll your eyes if you wish, but there are some things you need to hear.

When I was a teenager, N*Sync and Backstreet Boys were all the rage. Their concerts sold out, they were on every cover of every magazine, and you could get their face on pretty much any item you wanted- from sheets to mechanical pencils.

The internet was just becoming popular, but we needed dial up in order to log on. Which meant we were limited. Sure we could look at pictures and sometimes read stories, but it was nothing like it is now.

Now, you can spend as much time on the internet as you want. You have iphones and ipads and laptops. You can get wifi pretty much anywhere. You can get on any social media site you want to get the latest picture, gossip, video, etc.

And what I am seeing is this: You spend way too much time doing it. You become obsessed. Your life becomes totally wrapped up in the lives of those that you idolize. And at a certain point, girls, that gets dangerous. Because you begin to shut out the real world and the things that really matter, and you are focusing only on that one person or band. You defend every single thing that they do or say, even if you don't necessarily agree with it, just because you want to look like the "biggest fan" or the "best fan". You ARE ALLOWED to disagree with someone. It doesn't mean you love them or their music any less. You are a human being with thoughts, emotions, and opinions and you can own them. You do not have to hide them or change them just because a cute boy doesn't have the same ones.

It is important to have role models and to have people that inspire you. But when you become obsessed with a person to the point where you honestly don't think that you can live without them, that's when it is dangerous.

Social media can be used for really good things. I've seen funds raised for sick kids, cards sent to people who needed it, and many more. But it can also be bad. And I've seen a lot of the bad lately. You can't just spew off death threats to someone else because they disagree with you or because ::gasp:: they said something mean about your idol. Sure you may get mad- I get mad when I see nasty things about Taylor Swift- but would I turn around and throw back hate/ugly words? Nope. You ignore it as best you can.

Whether you choose to accept this or not, you are still a kid. Please, go be a kid...but be a NICE kid. Treat people well. You don't want to be remembered as the bully or the mean girl. You don't want to go the rest of your life knowing you made someone else's life miserable. You also don't want to go your whole life focused on your idol, waiting anxiously for their next tweet or blog post or youtube video or whatever it is you're waiting on. Go play. Be with your friends.

At the end of the day, girls, you are the most important person in your life. You should do what makes you happy and most fulfilled. You should go to sleep each night happy, peaceful. And you shouldn't have to depend on someone else to make you happy. When you live that way, you'll only be let down by their actions.

Don't stop listening to the music or watching the videos, just don't make it your whole life. You'll miss out on too much that way.

Love, Megan.

Thursday, February 6, 2014


I firmly believe that timing is everything.

People come into your life at certain times for a reason.

Doors open when they need to open. 

You walk through those open doors when you know it's right.

Three years ago a friend of the family asked if I was still looking for a job because the volunteer coordinator position at her hospice company was opening up. I shrugged, applied, and interviewed. I was 23 years old when I got that job. It was my first, real, 8-5 position. At the time I knew nothing about hospice or really anything about the medical field. But it was the right position for me at the time.

I met amazing people. I learned an incredible amount about the end of life and about grief. But most importantly, I learned the beauty of basic human interaction. 

I met some of my best friends. I was mentored by strong, smart women and I was able to be a mentor for others. I was influenced by the stories of laughter, tears, forgiveness, and grief.

My coworkers surrounded me with support during everything that happened with my dad. They were constantly praying for him and asking about him. Many of them didn't know, though, that for the last 5 months I have been silently suffering. Although my dad is doing well, it was both terrifying and overwhelming to be working for a hospice knowing my dad had cancer. In one of our team meetings, we discussed a new patient who was the same age and had the same diagnosis as my dad. I couldn't look at anyone in the eye. I wanted to cry. I knew then that it was time to move on.

My new job opportunity came at a perfect time. My dad is getting better, and I am back to feeling my normal self. But it's time for me to spread my wings a little, to take what I've learned and spread it in a new setting.

I'm going to miss it. I'm going to miss them. But it's time. The time is right and the time is now.

Next week is going to be hard on me. As ready as I am, I'm packing up three years of memories with some of the most amazing people I have ever known. Maggie, Peggy, Christina, Amy, Carol, Sue, Lynn and many others are some of the best friends I've ever had. 

Timing is everything. When you know, you know. 

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Weight Loss Wednesday

I don't have a weigh in this week.. And here is why:

I've been in bed since 9:30 last night. I have only gotten up to use the bathroom, refill my water and make myself a bowl of soup for lunch.

Here's what happened. I caught a little cold a few weeks ago, but I thought I was on the mend. Truth is, I pushed myself too hard and didn't get much rest. Plus, I spent over an hour shoveling snow Saturday and that threw me into a deep hole. By Monday I was coughing so much I thought my lungs were going to fall out.

I made a trip to the doctor Tuesday night and they determined I had a sinus infection and bronchitis. They gave me augmentin and cough syrup with codeine. This is the second time I've had this little gem of an illness in 4 months.

I haven't had food that wasn't soup or toast since Sunday. I'm exhausted, both from being up coughing and now the codeine flowing through my body. Every so often I breathe in and hear the fluid in my chest.  I have no energy left. 

It's not fun, to say the least.

But laying here in my bed, consumed in my own thoughts, I am at peace. I recognize all the love surrounding me and I embrace it. I realize that my suffering is no where near what others have to deal with. I look back and see how far I've come, how strong I am. How happy I am.  That I have been given a beautiful life.

I hate being told not to work out and I don't like not having energy, because I feel useless. I want to get out and do something important today. But I can't, and I realize that I must take care of myself and be the healthiest that I can be so that I CAN get out there and do something important. 

I hope you're all taking care of yourselves too. You don't have to be sick like me to take a day of rest. Take the time to care for you. Whether it's mental or physical, you need to be in your best shape. You deserve to be in your best shape. You are no good to others if you are not being good to yourselves.

On a some what related note, this week is eating disorder awareness week. I am recovering from food addiction, as most of you read about a few blogs back. Food addiction/compulsive overeating is an eating disorder that gets overlooked. Instead , we are labeled "fat and lazy". It's actually very mental, just like any other mental illness. I say if am recovering because I am. I have not binged in 5 months. I've wanted to, but overcame temptation. But every day is a battle. 

Since being on my weight loss journey I have had to keep my emotions in check so that I don't go down the slippery slope. If I do a weigh in and I have not lost any weight, for a brief moment I consider giving up and going to binge, or the opposite of starving myself. But I pis those ugly thoughts away, because neither one will make me healthy.

If you think you may be suffering from an eating disorder, please seek help immediately. If you think a friend or family member may be, get them help. They may deny it or get angry with you, but screw it. Get them help anyways. 

I will be back next week with a weigh in. Hopefully by then I'll be feeling better, and will be back at the gym and eating normal meals!

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

10 years of Facebook

Can you guys believe it? Facebook has been around for 10 whole years now. I was 16 when Mark Zuckerberg and pals sat in their college dorm room and created Facebook. It's hard to believe that it has lasted this long with all the other social media outlets out there. But I think Mark got it right. Facebook is special. 

I joined when I stared college, which was what Facebook was originally created for: college kids. You could only join if you has a college email address. It was fun to find people from your classes and dorm and to post pictures from sorority recruitment and parties. It was hilarious to post things on each other's walls and, of course, the epic "poke" wars. It was cool to keep up with your high school friends.

But for a while, that's all it was, was fun. Somewhat addicting, but nothing life changing. At least, not for me.

Facebook didn't actually get "special" until recently. I've always loved posting and keeping up with people, but this year, I saw the true magic of Facebook when over 400 people joined a prayer page for my dad. Some were friends of mine, others were people I did not know at all. Every post had plenty of comments and likes, and the love and prayers truly shined through. It was one of the coolest things I've ever witnessed, and a prime example of the positive affects of Facebook. I have very strong lovey dovey feelings for every single person on that Facebook page.

I post a lot on Facebook. Some may say I post too much on Facebook. But, for the most part, I try to keep it positive and post about good things like my weight loss, my blog, my dad, etc. sure I complain sometimes about the weather, getting sick, or other icky things but I really try to keep it positive and leave positive thoughts on my friends pages. 

I know Facebook can be negative. Just today I deleted someone who was posting too many girl fight videos and posting risqué pictures of herself. I don't support that. But I choose to get rid of the negative and focus on the positive.

Cheers to you, Facebook! Here's to many more years of spreading positivity! 

Monday, February 3, 2014

Dear Ryan

Dear Ryan,
Hi baby. I'm so sorry this letter is a few days late. Things have been a bit crazy for your Auntie Meggers.

I got a new job last week. I'm going to be working for a place that helps raise money to research cancer. The research will help people like Grandpa Carolin. It's very exciting! I am scared though, Ryan. Aunt Meggers is always scared of change and this job is a big one with a lot of responsibility. I am confident, but scared.

You and I both have a cough right now that we can't seem to shake. I think I got your germs when I was helping Grandma watch you a few weeks ago. It was one of the best days I've had with you, though, so I can't complain too much. Watching you giggle and run into my arms made it all worth it. I sat at your house the other night while you were sleeping, and could hear you coughing through the monitor. I've still got the cough too. Not very fun. Hopefully we both start to feel healthy again soon.

I also got to see you last night. It was your mommy's birthday and some of us went over there to watch the Superbowl. You looked so handsome with your new haircut. It was your first haircut ever. I had to get my first haircut at 6 weeks old. Crazy, right? Have your mom show you a picture. I had lots and lots of hair.

You are getting so smart. Mommy is teaching you little sign language tricks, you can point out your nose, and you are starting to memorize the routine in your house. You know where Clancy's food is and you know to hug him goodnight before you go to sleep. You know where the snacks are and you are able to point out which one you want. Even at Grandma's house, when I told you it was lunch time you walked right over to your chair. You don't eat at Grandma's very often so we were impressed! You've been getting good comments from school, too- your teachers say you are smart and keep up with the big kids. You're not just walking now- you're running!

By the time I write your next letter, I will have started my new job. I can't wait to tell you about it. In the meantime, let's both try to get better and lose this cough so we can sleep peacefully!

Love you!


Saturday, February 1, 2014


My life is about to change.

I have been offered and accepted an exciting position at the American Cancer Society.

I purchased a new car (Ford Fusion) because my dad can drive again soon and needs his car back. My little cavalier that died is going to be donated to Mother Waddles for a tax write off.

We are getting a new roommate at the end of February because Lauren is moving out.

And I need to join a new gym, because my current one, as much as I love it, is on the opposite side of town as my new job and I can't justify driving 45 minutes out of my way.

That's a lot of new, all at once. It's overwhelming, but it's exciting. I woke up energized and excited today.

I tend to hide a little with new changes. I get extremely anxious, so I like to make sure I have every piece of the puzzle put together so that I feel confident and ready.

I'm also scared. I think that comes with any new job or new beginning. I remember how scared I was to begin my job with Great Lakes. It's not easy closing a chapter and jumping head first into a new one, not exactly knowing what to expect. I worry that I will fail or disappoint.

The next two weeks will be weird. I'll be busy, trying to make sure everything is put in place at Great Lakes so that it can be a smooth transition. But it will also be emotional, and I will be processing all of my feelings and thoughts while trying to work.

People from my branch office don't quit very often. In fact, I am the first in a year and a half to do so. It's going to be tough to leave my friends and my volunteers. When I started that job, I was 23 and extremely shy. I was unsure of myself and uncomfortable in most social situations.With the help of my coworkers and job responsibility's, I grew out of that. I grew up. I am not the same person that I was when I began that job. I am stronger, more open minded, and confident.

The people that I work with are incredible. I cannot say enough great things about them. Each and every day, I realize how lucky I am to witness such wonderful people care for their patients. I am really going to miss my friends, my mentors, my supervisors.

I don't know how I will be these next few weeks. I don't know how my writing will be affected. I don't know if I will go into hiding or not. I just know I'm scared, excited, sad, and happy all at once. My life is about to change.

Sidenote, but Someone joked with Tom that maybe with all these new things I'll get a new relationship and dump him. They were joking, and Tom knows that, but I was slightly offended for him, and for me I guess. Tom is my best friend and I want him by my side through these changes and beyond. To think otherwise is silly. He's the greatest. I was nervous yesterday, signing the papers and driving away in my very first car purchase, but having him sit next to me through it, calm as can  be, helped me tremendously. He's not going anywhere.

Wish me luck while I navigate through this bumpy, but exciting, ride!