Friday, August 31, 2012

calm before the storm

Time for a life update.

I went back to work on Wednesday after having nearly two weeks off from my tonsillectomy recovery. I've been bombarded with questions. Plus, people have found my blog by googling tonsillectomy recovery, and they got my little oh so positive post. Here's the real scoop.

1. How are you feeling now? I get better every day (right now I am 15 days past surgery) Nighttime is usually worse, and it still hurts if I talk a lot. I'm wiped out from doing nothing for two weeks, so sitting through the work day has been challenging, but each day gets a little easier. I have not had to take Tylenol since day 9.

2. Can you feel a difference yet? No. I am still a teeny bit swollen, so I still wake up a little sore. I'm not sure if I am snoring, or if the sleep apnea is still there. I'll know more in a week or so when the swelling is down.

3. How bad was it? It was absolutely horrible and I would not wish that kind of pain upon anyone.

4. What was the worst part? It's a toss up between barfing which caused even more burning or the days when the scabs were coming in and I felt like I was swallowing large pieces of glass. Or the excruciating ear pain that gave me a headache. Or the fact that I couldn't sleep because I was in so much pain that I would just cry and eat ice chip after ice chip. Yeah, those were the worst parts.

5. Have you had your follow up appointment? Yep. Had it on day 12. That's how I know I'm still swollen (I'm still scared to look back there myself! It will be weird without those big honkers!). Everything was tonsils were tested for cancer, just in case. No cancer, but they did come back with a chronic infection inside the tonsil. Which, my friends, is why my throat always hurts, and why I get sick so easily.

Luckily, all of that is mostly behind me now. To be honest, it's kind of a blur. I don't really remember what the pain felt like now, I just know it was bad. Really bad. So yes, tonsillectomy recoveries suck, but you'll get through it. Ice chips, sherbet, and ice packs were my saviors.

Moving right along. What else is new?

As I said I'm back at work now and basically....swamped. Not so much with stuff that happened while I was gone, although that did take up most of my day Wednesday, but more of what's to come. I have six UofD students coming on board; and 8 community college nursing students. Then I'm speaking to two community college social work classes of 40 students each, and I usually get at least 10 new volunteers out of that. Not to mention, every person who I tried to recruit over the Summer who told me "I'll be ready in the fall" are coming. So I will have at least 20 new volunteers to train and place within the next few weeks. Bazinga. To prepare for that I am just getting myself completely organized and training a volunteer to help become my assistant so that she can help follow up with new volunteers. It's going to be a crazy, wild month, but I'm excited for it. I love having new volunteers on board!

What I'm Watching
I'm officially sick of TV because I overdosed while I was out. Plus Summer TV is generally pretty boring to me.  Fall TV is right around the corner, and I am looking forward to the return of Modern Family and Parenthood. Will give Glee and Xfactor a chance to wow me, but I may put those two to rest. And so far, the only new show I am for sure going to be watching is Nashville.

What I'm Reading
Would you believe it? I've read three books this week! Baziiiinga. I'm really trying to get back into my reading habit, so now when I get home from work I open a book instead of my computer. And I force myself to get in bed by 9/9:30 with a book and fall asleep by 10 or 10:30. It's all apart of the get Megan healthy challenge.

Anything But Typical is a children's chapter book. Why then, did I read it? Because it is written from the perspective of a young boy with autism. Having babysat a young boy with autism for over a year, it's something I am interested in. I read it in about an hour and enjoyed every minute of it. I felt for him, felt for his parents.

The Stranger You Seek was found in the mystery section of the library, somewhere I do not often find my next books. I really love books that get into your head, though, and books that you can analyze. This was one of those! It was suspenseful and spooky but also had a bit of humor. I wasn't too surprised by the ending, though. I kind of figured who the killer was a few chapters before we found out.

The Song Remains The Same is a book I have been wanting to read for a very long time. It is about a woman who, after a plane crash, loses her memory. The entire story is her trying to put the pieces of her life back together, and there are things her family tries to hide from her. The coolest part was that most of her memory comes back through music. She can hear a lyric and it will trigger a memory. I loved that. I really felt for that character, there is a chapter near the middle where your heart just starts to break for her, thinking how miserable and confusing it must be to forget everything. The author did a good job of explaining what that must feel like. And it feels awful.

Now I am reading The Fault In Our Stars, which I have been hearing about forever. It's found in the teen section. It's about a teenage girl battling cancer. So far it's a cute story with a bit of dry humor, and I've already found myself wondering how that girl can be so brave.

What I'm Looking Forward To
A weekend of writing, reading, and hanging out with Seamus. I know I just had two weeks of laying around, but I couldn't sleep in those two weeks AND I was miserable. So I'm excited to have a weekend to just- chill. I plan on getting a ton of writing done. Tomorrow morning I'll be up early to watch the Notre Dame game (happening in IRELAND, my parents are going to the game!) Plus I'll be going to the Mercy Volunteer picnic on Monday to welcome the new MVC's, see my buddies Dave and Katie, and see my lovely Sisters of Mercy.

I can't think past this weekend without thinking about work and how overloaded I will be, so I'll just leave it at that. I'm looking forward to the calm before the storm :)

So that's my life, for now. Ready or not, here comes the craziness!

Monday, August 27, 2012

how did you meet your best friend?

How did you meet your best friend? Here are the stories of how I met mine.

Scene 1:
Catholic elementary school in the suburbs. The girls are all wearing the same thing: red plaid uniform jumpers.  Timid children grasping onto their parents hand, wondering why we have to go to school anyways. I don't remember the exact moment I met Christine, (gimme a break, I was 5). I'm sure our parents chatted and we exchanged a nervous smile...or maybe we sat next to each other on the alphabet carpet or played with blocks together and started talking.  Any of those are possibilities, and I cannot for the life of me recall exactly how it began. But I do know that for every moment since then, she has been there. When we made our First Communion. When we made the life altering switch from jumpers to skirts and blouses. When we entered our freshman year of high school, not knowing more than a handful of girls. When we learned how to drive. When we went to different colleges.  When we grew up. And now, at work. She's always been there, has seen every side of me. Knows my family, what makes me cry, how I deal with death, what I need when I'm scared. She knows what will make me laugh, what I want for lunch, the kind of boy I go for, the kind of boy I SHOULD go for. Everyone has a childhood best friend. I kept mine. I always will. One day we'll be the parents and our little girls will be in red paid jumpers, grasping our hands and exchanging nervous smiles.

Scene 2:
Same school. This time, the cafeteria. I am wearing a nun costume; playing cards with a group of girls. We are the nun chorus in The Sound of Music, and in between our very important scenes we laugh until it hurts in the cafeteria. We all have the same motive: we are just trying to fit in. 8th grade can be so taxing. That's why I hang out with the 7th graders. It's a much welcomed break from the drama of my normal friends. A few boys join us, the Nazi's. "Hi, I'm Alex", one says. He fits right in. I laugh at almost everything he says. Eleven years later, I still laugh at almost everything he says. Alex is the friend I am goofiest with, I can say whatever is on my mind and he will respond in his most perfect way. If I had not had Alex as my best friend in high school, I don't think I would have made it. He was the person I turned to for laughter, for drives down Woodward, for free water at Wendy's. Our inside jokes were plentiful, we stood up for each other and stood by each other. We accompanied one another at dances. He cheered me on at my softball games. I remember very clearly the days where we saw each other almost every single day. That doesn't happen anymore. It doesn't need to. Because as soon as we are together we are like those carefree kids laughing at everything that comes our way. We've changed, but our understanding of each other hasn't.

Scene 3:
Dark gymnasium at Mercy High School. Tarp on the floor, balloons scattered. Music playing loudly in the background,  Ah, a high school dance... and all the nerves that come with it. I'm thinking about that one friend that's been acting kind of strange lately, fingers crossed that she's not mad at me. Because if one friend is mad, they could all turn on me in a second.  Then, there she is. A junior, blond hair. Running around the gym with a balloon in her hand. She approaches me and Alex. (See previous :-p). Alex knows her, they are talking and laughing. She's...carefree. Talking a mile a minute about her balloon date with a huge smile on her face. She isn't worried at all, she is who I want to be. She runs off to talk to someone else. I turn to Alex "I don't know what that is, but I need to be her best friend". Simple as that, and a few weeks later we are officially bff's. Sometimes I get emotional when talking about Alicia, because I cannot really adequately express how much she means to me. She's like...she is the kind of person that every one needs in their life. From the start of our friendship I was overwhelmed by her out-pour of love and compassion. She welcomes everyone with open arms and treats them like royalty. Their have been many times in my life when she probably should have left, walked away, given up on me. But she never did. She was there, smiling, giving me encouragement and making me stronger in my faith. I mean it when I say she is the greatest person I have ever known. Our friendship, for the most part, has been distance based. She is a year older than me, so she was in college when I was in my senior year. I went to a different college then her, and after she graduated she moved to Chicago, where she continues to live. But here's the thing about great friendships: distance shouldn't matter. And for us it doesn't. Like Alex, the second Alicia and I come back together we are the same. Laughing, having deep talks, filling each other in on our lives and the latest traumas or celebrations. She is the exact same person today as she was in that gym. More life experiences, sure, but overall, the same  heart and the same person. And she has been shaping my life and inspiring me every day since then. I am the lucky one to have her as my best friend.

Scene 4
The bleachers of Waldo Stadium at Western Michigan University. It's a crisp, fall evening. We are surrounded by all the other sonority girls, each performing their own cheers. I am wearing a white t shirt with navy Delta Gamma letters, surrounded by my so called sisters waiting for our new members to "come home". An exciting time of year for Greek life, you can feel the excitement and anticipation as we find out who our new baby deegee's will be. It starts, and one by one we gain a new member. We applaud, jump up and down, and hug each other. It's Sam's turn. I don't know her from a hole in the wall, but my friend Betsy turns to me and says "hold my hand im scared. she needs to come to us.". I feed off Betsy's excitement and suddenly I'm praying that this girl joins our house, too. Sure enough, she reveals her shirt: delta gamma. Later that night, we are back in our sorority house, forcing the new girls to tell us about themselves. Sam says she likes Hanson. "Like, mmmbop?" I ask. Boy, did she school me. She tells me they are still a band and still making music. I can tell music is her passion. I like that. I taking a liking to this Sam character. She's older than me, but transferred into WMU as a junior. I always find her when I'm out with my friends and find I always have fun when she is around. She makes me laugh. Somehow we end up living together with two other girls the next year, Sam's last year. Sorority is done, closed its doors. But our friendship was just beginning. People usually think three things about Sam and I. 1. We met because of American Idol. 2. We're only still friends because of American Idol 3. We're not still friends. False, false, false. What Sam and I have is special. She gets me and I get her, simple as that. I know what she is going to say before she says it. I know how she will react to certain news. And she knows all of these things about me. American Idol does not define our friendship. It's something we have in common, but take it away and she'd still be my best friend. I need her by my side and she needs least I hope she does, because I'll be there anyways.

EDIT: I forgot something about Sam and I. We have been through a lot of losses together. Loss can really mess a person up and it has certainly taken a toll on both of us. But when we could have pushed each other away or avoided it completely, we took a step closer together. We shouldn't have lost the people we did, plain and simple. But we did, and we've made it through those tragedies together.

Scene 5
Detroit Cristo Rey High School. It's my very first day as a mercy volunteer corps member and I am getting a tour of the school from Leon, the dean of students. I'm with my three housemates who I am still getting to know. In one of the classrooms, we meet Dean who gives us a firm handshake. He tells us he lives just a few streets over from our house. What a relief! Someone our age that works with me AND lives by me. Our friendship started off with friendly, brief chats, and eventually developed into kelly clarkson dance parties. Just kidding. The dance parties were just an extra perk. Dean was my rock that year. I felt 100% comfortable talking to him about anything, whether it was frustrations with the students or the mvc experience. He was patient with me and genuinely interested in what I had to say. Looking back, I think Dean really calmed me down. He never got too upset about anything which gave me influence and helped me to settle my nerves. Dean is special, and anyone who is lucky enough to have him in their life knows exactly what I mean. He is not afraid to show how much he cares. He is sarcastic but truthful. And he is wonderful.

Scene 6
A simple google search that led me to A website called (Go ahead and roll your eyes, non believers!). American Idol Season 6 has wrapped up, I've gone to tour. Melinda Doolittle was my favorite. I was trying to find other fans. I can't even remember why. I guess I was bored. My search, as I said, led me to that website, and I was introduced to some of my favorite people in the world, and yes, some of my best friends. I read through the threads and saw the genuine love that was shared between members. They prayed for one another, they encouraged each other. How could I turn that away? Sign me up! Things really changed when I started going into the chat room. Someone with the screen name Gemini2 was giving me a hard time for being from Michigan. She is now one of my best friends, my second mother, someone whom I cannot imagine life without. Most of the backups are. I have gone through significant life experiences with them. They are still the ones I turn to when I need prayers, advice, etc. I have a special bond with all of them, besides Gemini2 :) Cathy got me through my senior year of college. Ape is who I want to be as a person. Maria's the sweetheart. Des understands my love for Idol. Babz and Holly got me to do a 1/2 marathon. Shari comments on all my blogs, we share a love for music and writing. Val is my twin, so nurturing and careful. And Jena. Jena's just this positive light in my life. She gives me the best advice, she's tough and gives me strength. They are all my best friends, my family. I thank God every single day for that google search.

Scene 7
My Clinton Township office. I am uneasy and unsure what the day will bring. The office seems dark, the walls are bare and the carpet is in desperate need of cleaning. I can smell the coffee brewing. People are wandering around, there's a line at the copy machine. It's my very first day. My new boss tells me to take a seat at one of the round tables and wait for a nurse who I am supposed to shadow. So I sit with two girls who look to be my age. They are spreading out their paperwork, talking about some of the work politics. I learn that their names are Tierra and Maggie. Tierra turns to me and says "Listen, the old girl before you burned out, so people are going to be leery. Just a heads up". I appreciated her honesty. Maggie says "I was hired in October, so I'm still kind of learning too", and gives me a reassuring smile. I ask them if they are excited to go electronic, they both give nervous laughs. I notice that they seem close, Tierra finishes Maggie's sentences. Both of them laugh and giggle a lot. I decide I like them. The first few months of work, I am way too shy. Plus, Tierra was right. The girl before me burned out, and I had a lot of work to do to fix the mess that she made. Our friendship did not take off right away. It didn't really take off at all, actually, until the company outing: the tiger's game. It was a miserable night, with downpour of rain and tension between coworkers. I sandwiched myself between Tierra and Maggie, and we laughed and swapped stories about work. That's when they became my best friends. Ever since then I'd save them seats at a meeting, or give them looks across the room if we were separated. We would call or email each other during the day to check in or tell each other about something ridiculous that happened. Even though Tierra has since left the company, she remains one of my best friends. We text each other all the time. I miss her. Tierra always made me feel safe, and she always made me laugh. Plus, she was the one who would remind me that I had God to turn to. Mags is just Mags. The sweetest girl you'll ever know, and like most of my other best friends, she just gets me. She too knows what makes me upset. As the two youngin's we have to stick together, and we do a pretty darn good job of that. I do not let a work day go by without talking to her. It has been a relief to have her around not only as an amazing coworker but as a friend.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

major milestone.

I the fall of 2007; one of my best friends, Jess, introduced me to Taylor Swift's music. Her debut album had been released a year prior and she was  gaining attention for her songs "Tim McGraw" and "Teardrops on My Guitar". On first listen to one of her songs I immediatley went out and bought her album. I had never been a country fan, but that wasn't what drew (ha, swiftie pun) me to Taylor. It was her songwriting. The fact that she was a teenager and writing every single one of her songs really inspiried me. And they were GOOD. I admired how she just poured her heart out into those songs and had no intention of holding back.

Ever since the day I bought Taylor's first album I have been writing. I bought a leather journal and would sit in my college apartment, writing on scrap paper and then copying it into the journal. The very first "song" in there was from November 2007. A few months later, Taylor was playing a show at our college. Jess and I went, along with our friends Sam and Lauren. By some force of divine intervention, met Taylor. I brought my journal with me to that show and asked her to sign it. I will never forget the look on her face. She grabbed it and said "that is SO AWESOME". And then she said "Please fill that book up! Keep writing!"

Her signature on my book

It is now August 2012, and I just filled out the last page in that journal. I cannot tell you the absolute overwhelming emotion that I felt when I closed the book. Every single emotion that I have felt over the past six (almost!) years is held in that book.

I read through each and every single page last night and I wanted to share some of my thoughts.

There are 110 songs.

52 are about a personal relationship. Mostly boys, but some friends as well. There are seven boys that have more than three songs about them. There is one boy with 14 songs about him. He wins. Second place goes to the boy with 6 songs about him.
20 are personal stories about my transitions, memories,emotions/struggle with depression or anxiety. Most of these were written during times of change. Graduating, leaving mvc, trying to find a job.
15 are written based off a friends life/relationship/something I read in a book or heard in a song. Most of these are my favorites, actually.
10 are inspirational; meant to help others.
9 are written about a friend or someone who has inspired me. Most are titled after that person. The very first one I ever wrote falls under this category, and it is about Melinda Doolittle.
3 are about God.

There are many that have been shared over the years, some that have never been shared. I just want to post the last one I wrote, tonight. This one was really fun to write as I wanted to include everything. I also wanted to incorporate my favorite children's story, Peter Pan. So that's what I did. I hope you like it.

"Peter Pan" by Megan Carolin

ive years of memories
held together in a book
I wrote about the pain I felt
brought on by chemical imbalances
And how I felt trapped by demons
I won’t forge the dark times, they made me
Peter Pan told me
never say goodbye
that goodbye means forgetting
I’m saying goodbye but I’ll never forget
And I’ve gotta grow up
Unless I can spot the second star to the right
and fly away to neverland tonight
 I wrote about the first time I saw
you, and him, and that other guy
how my heart just couldn’t take it
and I fell too fast
I wrote about when he left
when he told me he’d never leave me
yet I haven’t seen him since
And I haven’t forgotten him
Peter Pan told me
never say goodbye
that goodbye means forgetting
I’m saying goodbye but I’ll never forget
And I’ve gotta grow up
Unless I can spot the second star to the right
and fly away to neverland tonight
I wrote about that summer
2008, when my best friend and I
have never felt so free
and all the music that changed our lives
And I wrote about the losses
Amanda and Laurence are forever on my heart
With their messages of hope and walk on
And they are never forgotten
Peter Pan told me
never say goodbye
that goodbye means forgetting
I’m saying goodbye but I’ll never forget
And I’ve gotta grow up
Unless I can spot the second star to the right
and fly away to neverland tonight
I wrote about the year my life changed
All thanks to a few teenagers with a dream
In a city with dead lights and lost hope
In a house with three beautiful folks
And I wrote about all the people
Who have saved my soul
And I’ll never forget
That they saved my soul
Peter Pan told me
never say goodbye
that goodbye means forgetting
I’m saying goodbye but I’ll never forget
And I’ve gotta grow up
Unless I can spot the second star to the right
and fly away to neverland tonight  
 I wrote about my future
And where I’ll go from here
Where will I go from here
As I lay five years to rest
As I say goodbye
But never forget
And grow up, but still live
Because to live
would be an awfully big adventure
-megan carolin; august 2012

As far as the Taylor connection goes, I continue to listen to her music daily, and she continues to inspire me. I often wonder how many people have asked her to sign their journals, if I was the first. I also despretly want to meet her again and show her that I finished it.

People sometimes ask me what I'll do with these songs. I don't know. I can't write or play music and I certainly cannot sing. But someone once told me "babygirl, someone's got to sing those songs". That someone is now the same person I refer to as Voldemort, but that statement was the only honest thing he ever said to me. Maybe I will send them somewhere. Maybe I will stalk Taylor or Kelly Clarkson until they read them and find one that they can record. I'm really not sure. For now, I am just going to read them over and over again and remember these past six years and all the growing up I have done.

To all the boys and friends who caused me pain, look at me now.

To all the beautiful people who inspired the happy songs, thank you for saving my soul.

To every single person who has read something I wrote; I love you, and thank you for supporting me.

To my writing inspirations: Taylor Swift; Kelly Clarkson; The Spill Canvas; Melinda Doolittle; Mandisa; NeverShoutNever; Ed Sheeran; Lady Antebellum; Crystal Bowersox; Gavin DeGraw; Jason Mraz; and Sara Barielles: Thousands and thousands of hugs to all of you for making music that gave me strength and power to keep going.


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

mama and papa are going to the homeland!

So...something really exciting is about to happen and I cannot properly express it vocally because well... I can't talk right still. So the only way to really get my message across? Blog it baby.

What's happening? My parents... Mama and Papa C, are leaving for IRELAND in a few days! IRELAND, people! Land of the leprechauns, home of the Irish! our homeland!

It all started Christmas 2010. My mom (teacher extraordinaire) received an anonymous gift of $500 mixed in with her gifts from students. To this day we do not know who it is from, but that gift shows you just how special my mom is. I mean people don't just get $500 as an anonymous gift. Prior to receiving this gift, they always talked of a dream trip to Ireland, but no way of doing it financially. That money was the start, and they began saving up, now they are actually going there. MONDAY!

I am excited beyond belief for them. It will be the trip of a lifetime. Not only are they going to be in an amazing, beautiful country soaking up our Irish culture, but they are also going to the Notre Dame game! Yes, that's right, Notre Dame is playing a football game in Ireland that week. If you know anything about my family, you know that they are huge, and I do mean huge, Notre Dame fans. They go to at least one game a year down in South Bend, they can quote Rudy on demand, and they follow every update pre season, during the season, and post season.

So, mom and dad, I have made you a list of things I'd like you to do in Ireland. Besides, you know, live like rockstars.

1. Explore the castles.
2. Speak in a fake Irish accent
3. Do an Irish jig on the cobblestone street
4. Find Baggot Street and say "what up" to the Sisters of Mercy
5. Roll down an Irish hill
6. Find our ancestors
7. Go to a real Irish pub and drink a pint or two.
8. Count how many people are named "Seamus"
9. Kiss the Blarney Stone
10. If you do nothing else, do this: have an amazing time and take way too many pictures.

I love you both and I am so proud and excited!

When Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, 'tis like the morn in Spring.
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing.
When Irish hearts are happy,
All the world seems bright and gay.
And when Irish eyes are smiling,
Sure, they steal your heart away. 

Sunday, August 19, 2012


I could sit here and tell you all the awful things that have happened during my tonsillectomy recovery, but no one wants to hear that (and I've done enough of that on facebook). So instead; I will tell you what has been good.

1.The sherbet. I love me some sherbet and it has been the best cure food wise. It does soothes my throat and numbs it for a good 10-20 minutes; which is a God send. I have  about 2-3 small bowls a day. I'm probably never going to want orange sherbet again; but for now it is my best friend.

2. I'm learning sign language. Okay, not really, but I am making my own sign language up! I seriously cannot talk because I'm so swollen, so I have resorted to mumbling, grunting, pointing, writing things down. It's most fun to act things out. And my mom has gotten really good at understanding what I am saying.

3. I have lost 5 pounds. I'm not kidding. I got weighed right before my surgery,  checked my weight today and was down 5 pounds. By the time I come back to I may be down 5 more. Take that; tonsils!

4. I am officially caught up on all things Kardashian thanks to E! and thanks to the fact that it is THE ONLY THING ON TV.

5.  Who knew ice chips could be so delicious and soothing? I sure didn't, until now.

6. I have been practicing my sweet sudoku skills.

7. I caught up on all celebrity gossip and news that I missed while I was too busy working. Nicki Minaj might be an Idol judge?  WHAT? SIGN. ME. UP.

8. I have found that whenever I go through a period of very intense pain (which is usually either right after I wake up from a nap or about an hour before my meds are due) I get Taylor Swift's new song stuck in my head. I don't really like the song, but it forces me to focus on the ridiculously silly words rather than the pain. So now I'll never, like never, be able to hear that song without thinking of this experience. Like, never.

9. I have seen compassion in a golden retriever. Well, maybe more curiosity than compassion.. When I was really sick Saturday night, my sister's pup ran into the bathroom with me and then curled up on the couch next to me.

10. The sweet texts, tweets, facebook comments I am getting from everyone are pulling me thru! Whether its a tip or a get better wish, I feel so much love and so supported. This tonsillectomy is nothing compared to what a lot of people go through, so I feel pretty blessed to have so much love pouring out!

This does suck, it's one of the toughest things I've been through physically. But I think I am on the mend. I have maybe another day or two of the "intense pain" and then things should start to get better, with random moments of the pain coming back. I just want to get my energy back and to be able to eat again.

Much love to you all.

Monday, August 6, 2012

nugget of hope :)

There are times when life seems to be falling apart. When day after day you are hit with another tragedy, mishap, another bump in the road. There are times when despite all of this, you are still happy. This is one of those times for me.

I am terribly sad and heartbroken over recent events in my community, as well as by the Colorado and Wisconsin shootings. I am also overwhelmed by all the health "stuff" and financial strains. But there is something that keeps me going, something that gives me strength.

That something is actually a someone- my soon to be little niece or nephew. We celebrated my sister's baby shower yesterday, and for the first time it hit me- I am really going to be an aunt. 13 weeks from now I will be holding my little buddy. I can't wait, I want it to be November right this second so we can welcome him/her into this world. It's a scary world, it's not always a safe world, but it's still a beautiful world; so much to discover. I hope that my pal will like me, I hope that he/she can always hold onto hope and always find a way to laugh.

I realize this is overly cheesy, a little too warm and fuzzy. I just can't believe I get to be an aunt. Aunt Meg. All my life I've been the baby, the youngin, and I've had to seek out little ones to "watch over" and "take care of". This has usually taken the form of one of the teens I have worked with in different settings. Now I will have my very own little niece or nephew that I can smother with love.

Short post tonight, but I simply cannot contain my excitement for the little nugget.
I also have a favor for you all. I know this blog averages between 50-100 views per entry. So I would like every single person who reads this blog to then post a comment that tells me something you have been terrified to do, but you did anyways. Thank you.